blue stuff

Since I only bake one cake a year I insist on making it the time-honored olde-fashioned way, same way my ancestors did back in the Olde Country, when we lived in harmony with nature down on the  Olde Estate, down the road from the 7-11 just off Pennsylvania Turnpike exit 8. Here’s how I do it:P1000028

Life is like a bowl of cake batter, and blue food coloring is Science:


Behold :


I leave you to come to your own conclusions:


Pour batter into cake pans, put pans in oven.

Remove pans from oven when batter has finished reincarnating as solid food:


Yes, Dear Readers, I use a colander as my cake pan cooler because one day I will have reached the Nirvana of Ultimate De-Clutter when I own only 100 pieces of stuff and everything I has to do double-duty.  In the case of the colander, it triples as holy headgear, for Lo, I am a member of the world’s fastest growing carbohydrate based religion, Pastafarianism.

Cooking Tip Most Likely to Make You Go Doh!: The fastest way to bring a stick of frozen butter to “room temperature” is to grate it:


Life is a like a bowl of butter cream icing, and blue food coloring is all our wishes that eating butter cream icing would be one third of the food pyramid:


Now, that’s what I call Magical Thinking:


Pre-cake plate:


Bottom layer of icing:


This is the first year that I completely gave up trying to make a decent cake, given that all the blue cakes in my past have turned out hideously. So of course, this happens:


I know there’s a Life Lesson in there somewhere.  But don’t ask me for it — do I look like Oprah?


And the champagne wasn’t the least bit like a Slurpee:

P1000061Je suis Charlie.


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