Fashion mostly

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, der Drumpf Jr.

Christmas has come early!

Sung to the tune of It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas: (I prefer the Johny Mathis version.)

It’s beginning to look a lot like impeachment!

This is how we know:

Take a look at der Junior Drumpf’s

Latest e-mail dump

With the treasonous Russian evidence aglow!

It’s beginning to look so obvious —

criminal charges fit.

POTUS can huff and puff but our nation will call his bluff cuz

all der Drumpfs are shits!

But, Oh Donald, you sordid pathetic half-wit, I could almost love you today — your destined come-uppance will be a pure delight to watch and lo, How I will dote on you, you festering bung hole of a human, all the minutes and days of your demise.

Der Trumpf is in France this week. I took the precaution of emailing my French friends:

I know for a fact that Donald Drumpf is going to do or say something stupid and offensive to the great French people. I am sending you my deepest apologies in advance. 

So, as he met the French President and his wife, Brigitte Macron, on Thursday, der Drumpf said to her: “You’re in such good shape!”

And since you asked, No, being right about der Drumpf never gets boring.

Hello there. If you are reading this blog for the first time, Welcome; we are all deep thinkers here, ponderers of all matters ontological  and cosmological and stuff. In fact, last week we here were discussing Chomsky’s theory of language acquisition re: Skinner’s behavioral paradigms, so if you’re new to VivianWorld you might want to brush up on the subject here. Go ahead. We’ll wait.

OK. Now that it’s just you and me, faithful Dear Readers, let’s digress to our regularly scheduled blog trivialities.

I am not a fan of bad posture. So I was shocked — shocked — when I saw this picture that Top Cat took of me in my 13th Wedding Anniversary dress last week:

I thought I’d been standing up straight so imagine my horror when I saw this stoop-shouldered crone. The shock of seeing your true self, and all. So I asked my dear Top Cat, my darling  husband of 13 rotations around the sun, to re-take it:

A little too “Kardashian on an imaginary red carpet pose”, but it’s an improvement over the schlub-slouch in the previous pic. Let this be a reminder, Dear Readers, that when in doubt, throw your shoulders back and take 5 years off your LBD.

 

Being as I am not currently in the process of writing a damn book I am filling up my time with various new hobbies, one being shopping. Because I have a problem that needs solving: I am 61 years old and I don’t have a go-to Sumer Look; a uniform, a style; a polished casual fashion statement that is “Me” that I can wear on these long hot Summer days and look appropriate.

Me in the backyard. This is not an outfit that I would wear in pubic. Well, actually, it IS an outfit that I’ve worn in public, but I’m not proud of that. P.S. Taffy is not dead. He is sleeping.

I want to be cool, and “cool”; but nothing so flimsy or sheer that I have to wear a bra (right?). I want to look tidy, and my age, and I want pockets. I love pockets. If there are zippers, the zippers have to be non-decorative — they have to function as fasteners between two meaningful parts of the garment. I don’t want gratuitous zippers.

I want solid colors, simple lines, and NO CAPRI PANTS.

I hate to break it to you, but no one looks good in capri pants.

I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but this Summer the stores are bursting with tops and dresses that feature an off-the-shoulder neckline, or weird sleeves that have the shoulders cut out so as to appear to have random scraps of fabric attached at the armpit. I wasn’t that keen on this look the first time it cycled around, back in the 1970s, and I am no fonder of it now that I’ve aged out of the Rock Chick esthetic.

NO.

HELL no.

So after a quick walk through Lord & Taylor’s because I hate shopping spending many hours investigating the offerings at the mall, I have come to the conclusion that I will have to design my own clothes,since clothing manufacturers don’t seem to be looking out for women my age. But, being as I do not know the first thing about clothes-making, what I plan to do is: Buy stuff that is already made and alter it. I don’t care if I have to “marry” two separate pieces into one, or if I have to cut down a dress, or even if I have to re-purpose a bathrobe. I’m open to any and all possibilities.

Starting at the T J Maax up the road, where I can begin my experiments in Fashion Deconstruction with cheaper clothes, I found a rack of “CoverUps”, a category of clothing that I did not know existed. [FYI: It’s beachwear.] Unlike what is on the regular racks, these colors are fun, the fabrics are sturdy but lightweight , and the styles are a bit dopey — which is fine by me! They are made large so as to be easy on/easy off, which means that you have lots of material to play around with when you make your alterations.

I found this:

Well, to be honest, I did’t find this particular piece; I found one like it in grey linen that I didn’t take a photo of. Because this is it BEFORE, when it had a draw-string hoodie (nobody my age should wear a hoodie, I’m just saying) and it had a button thing on the sleeve that let you roll it up, and it had very long shirt tails in the front and back that made it look almost like a dress.

This is it in blue:

I saw this and I thought, all I have to do was cut off the hoodie, remove the button-thing on the sleeves, cut off those damn shirt tails front and back and I might have something I could wear. I also wish I could take it in on the side seams, but that is beyond my skills.

As of now, I’m halfway done with my re-model. I’ll show you the results next week, when I premiere my New Look.

Dear Readers, in addition to fashion, I am currently obsessed with an Instagram account for Ringing Rocks Jewelry at https://www.instagram.com/ringingrocksjewelry/.

Ringing Rocks is a real thing, and jeweler Christine Sakos incorporates something of their mysterious sound waves into her designs. ou will find her jewelry fascinating, as her pieces reflect a wondrous and very personal mythology that incorporates nature, unseen energies, shades and shadows from the Pennsylvania forest she calls home, and RAISING MOTHS:

By raising these spectacular Luna moths, Christina is doing her noble  best to keep our climate-threatened native species from disappearing — a loss that would make our Summer nights so ordinary, so beige. She also raises Cecropias, North America’s largest moth.

I am obsessed with checking in on her updates on the latest brood of beauties. Drop in, sign up, and Follow Christine if you need a little — a lot — of real-world magic in your life. Support the moths! Tell your friends!  Watch Christine save the future, one moth at a time!

You can also read her blog and see her caterpillars and her astounding jewelry at https://www.ringingrocksjewelry.com.

Happy Bastille Day, mes chers.

Have a great weekend, Dear Readers.

You are ALL high quality people.

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