Help!

Our servant enabler nice lady dat we lives here wid is taking a day off. People-talk iz not our native langwhich.  What means:

AHHHHHHHHH!  I’VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU GODDAM CATS!!!!

Iz not our fault dat lady leaf watercolor painting to dry on desk where we like to throw up on.

Iz not our fault dat lady haf dining room where we like to pee.

Iz not our fault dat leather couch feels so good to sharpen clause on.

Anyhoo. Lady takes day off of us.

If you no where we live, Pleeze come. Our food bowl is half empty. We will sit and stare at bowl till is full.

You do not deserve thanks for rescue us. We are catz.

P.S. Lady say reed here tomorrow for speshul Saturday post. Wait, must rake clause over cashmere sweater. Lady yelling again — what means GLUE FACTORY?

9 comments to Help!

  • Sandy

    Time for outdoor time!!!! and a stiff drink!

  • I’m laughing so hard I have tears in my eyes.
    No way are those babies going outside. They’ll get killed on the street, or Long Island Exp.
    You and Top Cat shd go have a stiff one at exit 37 tonight. It’s Friday.
    Cats will wait for you.
    Love this blog.!

  • Kim

    You’ve captured the feline felons in their truest forms, both purrrrrbally and visually ~ Thanks for the good laughs, and the comfort of knowing there are other Cat-Anons (catatonics?) who walk amongst us!

  • From Chloe, Zoe, Abbie, Sassy, Ebony, Linus. (We live with Barbara.) What do you guys feed us that makes us throw up so much? We don’t like to throw up but we must admit it is kind of fun when we aim just right. Barbara’s camera charger doesn’t work anymore because of our excellent aim. There are lots of other examples that we can’t think of right now. Oh, oh- remember the time Linus aimed his pee right on the phone? She didn’t know what was wrong when it stopped working and called The Phone Man. He figured out what was wrong and everyone had a good laugh (except Barbara) Now Linus has to live out in the enclosed patio. Why is he getting punished? He should have gotten a good marksmanship medal.

  • Yo from the window ledge of Toni Brown’s studio, where I’ve been perching [& doing my part of chores by cleaning (licking) the panes] … meanwhile, the black & white feline on the top right of the last foursome, here? Is that a fella? Cuz, like, I’m totally in heat and Toni has this tendency to IGNORE me when I yowl (ask) WHERE’S THE BEEF! Since she won’t let me bring home a boy toy of my own, to keep, I’m wondering if you would rent me one of yours? One with functioning parts, I should stipulate. BRRREEEOOOWWWW!

  • ok ok I’ve got one.: He can throw up on his table, hit the cloth I have for him ( for comfort), manage to hit the wall, and leave a trail DOWN THE WALL to the floor, and the floor even get a small pile.
    1- table top
    2- cloth
    3-wall
    4- floor

    A FOUR-BAGGER !!

  • maryann

    heeheeehehehhe!! EXACTLY!!!! :)

  • candice

    We are gradually covering our entire house in hardwoods because of Winchester’s tendency to claw the carpet. He and Xenia used to fight through the closed door (had to keep them separated) and the thresholds are shredded down to the subfloor. Until we got the floors done downstairs, I did not invite anyone in my house for 5 years, not even the Orkin man.

    And Xenia is the only cat I know who could pee under a half inch crack between my blanket chest and the floor. She had an aim like a fire hose. She was also a champion puker. The carpet in my office could be an atlas: Africa (Dec. 4, 1996), Scotland (July 10, 2002), etc.

    Want to kill ‘em? You bet. I get back at Winchester by making him wear hats for the blog he co-hosts. Sometimes shirts that are too tight. Hee-hee. We have to get our revenge where we can.

  • Marina

    Iz good to heer from the catz whooze reely runnin the show akshully. Glad they culd fill in for yus on day off.

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