Christmas in July!

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, der Drumpf Jr.

Christmas has come early!

Sung to the tune of It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas: (I prefer the Johny Mathis version.)

It’s beginning to look a lot like impeachment!

This is how we know:

Take a look at der Junior Drumpf’s

Latest e-mail dump

With the treasonous Russian evidence aglow!

It’s beginning to look so obvious —

criminal charges fit.

POTUS can huff and puff but our nation will call his bluff cuz

all der Drumpfs are shits!

But, Oh Donald, you sordid pathetic half-wit, I could almost love you today — your destined come-uppance will be a pure delight to watch and lo, How I will dote on you, you festering bung hole of a human, all the minutes and days of your demise.

Der Trumpf is in France this week. I took the precaution of emailing my French friends:

I know for a fact that Donald Drumpf is going to do or say something stupid and offensive to the great French people. I am sending you my deepest apologies in advance. 

So, as he met the French President and his wife, Brigitte Macron, on Thursday, der Drumpf said to her: “You’re in such good shape!”

And since you asked, No, being right about der Drumpf never gets boring.

Hello there. If you are reading this blog for the first time, Welcome; we are all deep thinkers here, ponderers of all matters ontological  and cosmological and stuff. In fact, last week we here were discussing Chomsky’s theory of language acquisition re: Skinner’s behavioral paradigms, so if you’re new to VivianWorld you might want to brush up on the subject here. Go ahead. We’ll wait.

OK. Now that it’s just you and me, faithful Dear Readers, let’s digress to our regularly scheduled blog trivialities.

I am not a fan of bad posture. So I was shocked — shocked — when I saw this picture that Top Cat took of me in my 13th Wedding Anniversary dress last week:

I thought I’d been standing up straight so imagine my horror when I saw this stoop-shouldered crone. The shock of seeing your true self, and all. So I asked my dear Top Cat, my darling  husband of 13 rotations around the sun, to re-take it:

A little too “Kardashian on an imaginary red carpet pose”, but it’s an improvement over the schlub-slouch in the previous pic. Let this be a reminder, Dear Readers, that when in doubt, throw your shoulders back and take 5 years off your LBD.

 

Being as I am not currently in the process of writing a damn book I am filling up my time with various new hobbies, one being shopping. Because I have a problem that needs solving: I am 61 years old and I don’t have a go-to Sumer Look; a uniform, a style; a polished casual fashion statement that is “Me” that I can wear on these long hot Summer days and look appropriate.

Me in the backyard. This is not an outfit that I would wear in pubic. Well, actually, it IS an outfit that I’ve worn in public, but I’m not proud of that. P.S. Taffy is not dead. He is sleeping.

I want to be cool, and “cool”; but nothing so flimsy or sheer that I have to wear a bra (right?). I want to look tidy, and my age, and I want pockets. I love pockets. If there are zippers, the zippers have to be non-decorative — they have to function as fasteners between two meaningful parts of the garment. I don’t want gratuitous zippers.

I want solid colors, simple lines, and NO CAPRI PANTS.

I hate to break it to you, but no one looks good in capri pants.

I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but this Summer the stores are bursting with tops and dresses that feature an off-the-shoulder neckline, or weird sleeves that have the shoulders cut out so as to appear to have random scraps of fabric attached at the armpit. I wasn’t that keen on this look the first time it cycled around, back in the 1970s, and I am no fonder of it now that I’ve aged out of the Rock Chick esthetic.

NO.

HELL no.

So after a quick walk through Lord & Taylor’s because I hate shopping spending many hours investigating the offerings at the mall, I have come to the conclusion that I will have to design my own clothes,since clothing manufacturers don’t seem to be looking out for women my age. But, being as I do not know the first thing about clothes-making, what I plan to do is: Buy stuff that is already made and alter it. I don’t care if I have to “marry” two separate pieces into one, or if I have to cut down a dress, or even if I have to re-purpose a bathrobe. I’m open to any and all possibilities.

Starting at the T J Maax up the road, where I can begin my experiments in Fashion Deconstruction with cheaper clothes, I found a rack of “CoverUps”, a category of clothing that I did not know existed. [FYI: It’s beachwear.] Unlike what is on the regular racks, these colors are fun, the fabrics are sturdy but lightweight , and the styles are a bit dopey — which is fine by me! They are made large so as to be easy on/easy off, which means that you have lots of material to play around with when you make your alterations.

I found this:

Well, to be honest, I did’t find this particular piece; I found one like it in grey linen that I didn’t take a photo of. Because this is it BEFORE, when it had a draw-string hoodie (nobody my age should wear a hoodie, I’m just saying) and it had a button thing on the sleeve that let you roll it up, and it had very long shirt tails in the front and back that made it look almost like a dress.

This is it in blue:

I saw this and I thought, all I have to do was cut off the hoodie, remove the button-thing on the sleeves, cut off those damn shirt tails front and back and I might have something I could wear. I also wish I could take it in on the side seams, but that is beyond my skills.

As of now, I’m halfway done with my re-model. I’ll show you the results next week, when I premiere my New Look.

Dear Readers, in addition to fashion, I am currently obsessed with an Instagram account for Ringing Rocks Jewelry at https://www.instagram.com/ringingrocksjewelry/.

Ringing Rocks is a real thing, and jeweler Christine Sakos incorporates something of their mysterious sound waves into her designs. ou will find her jewelry fascinating, as her pieces reflect a wondrous and very personal mythology that incorporates nature, unseen energies, shades and shadows from the Pennsylvania forest she calls home, and RAISING MOTHS:

By raising these spectacular Luna moths, Christina is doing her noble  best to keep our climate-threatened native species from disappearing — a loss that would make our Summer nights so ordinary, so beige. She also raises Cecropias, North America’s largest moth.

I am obsessed with checking in on her updates on the latest brood of beauties. Drop in, sign up, and Follow Christine if you need a little — a lot — of real-world magic in your life. Support the moths! Tell your friends!  Watch Christine save the future, one moth at a time!

You can also read her blog and see her caterpillars and her astounding jewelry at https://www.ringingrocksjewelry.com.

Happy Bastille Day, mes chers.

Have a great weekend, Dear Readers.

You are ALL high quality people.

11 Comments, RSS

  1. deb mattin July 14, 2017 @ 2:53 pm

    I sang your Drumpf song to my husband and he laughed out loud as I snort-sang it. He says you should send it on to Colbert!

    Confession- I was guilty of wearing capri pants until one day I looked around and realized that only women of a certain age were wearing them and every one of them looked frumpy. Being OaCA myself, I nevertheless came home and got rid of every pair of capri pants in the house.
    I LOVE the idea of altering things and can’t wait to see your hoodie-less top/ dress.

    I am fuming about 45’s comment to Mme Macron! Sexist,boorish, demeaning (“You are in great shape”! – for someone so OLD was clearly implied ) piece o’crap. GRRRRR

  2. Casey July 14, 2017 @ 3:46 pm

    I had trouble commenting here, did you forget to enable? Then I saw Deb’s note so I rushed over here to tell you that I love your song! That’s exactly how it feels like, Christmas in July, and now I’ll be humming your song every time I read the news.

    I don’t own a pair of capri pants so I hereby promise never to purchase a pair. Have they been around forever? Or is this something that happened in the ’90s?

    That luna moth is so beautiful. I thought all moths were ugly and it was only butterflies that could be graceful but that’s why I come here. I learn something new every time.

    I can sew, so if you need help let me know!

  3. Mo July 14, 2017 @ 4:28 pm

    re: clothing … i always favor the classic looks, hate those ridiculous off-the-shoulder tops. obviously designed by men, lol. if i were your age and your body type, i’d go with classic longish shorts, preferably with cuffs, and definitely with pockets. and classic t-shirts. nothing says fresh and summery like a white t with khaki shorts. that’s my story and i’m sticking with it. except of course with a t you’d need a bra, sorry 😉

  4. Megan July 14, 2017 @ 7:20 pm

    Mmm capri pants… I have a friend who wears long shorts that end mid calf. I hate them with a passion, however I have lots of capri pants and love them. I am 5 foot nothing and capri pants are FAN BLOODY TASTIC, as I don’t need to chop off six inches of hem, capri pants fit me perfectly as long trousers! So there you go there is something for everyone. They are perfect with sandals and they come past my ankles. I love that bathing suit cover up, I quite like the pink even though I don’t have much pink in my wardrobe. I am eagerly awaiting the finished item. LOVE Taffy, he’s so gorgeous. I miss my ginger ninja so much, love to see Taff doing his cat thing. So do tell if you can, what do the millions of people who voted for der Drumpf think, are they happy with what they have or do they regret their vote? I think it is a very interesting subject as it looked like they might not get what they had hoped for, perhaps it is too early to say?

  5. Buffy July 14, 2017 @ 8:31 pm

    I danced a crazy happy dance to thank Drumpfster Jr for his fine work to bring on the inevitable.

  6. Kirra July 15, 2017 @ 11:27 am

    What a great Christmas in July song! I feel like they have been totally played by the Russians. Looking forward to watching the dtrumf demise.

    I agree posture is important but sometimes you just don’t realise what you look like, you look great in the second photo!

    I agree clothes shopping can be really difficult, I totally don’t like the off the shoulder thing, at least I know what will appear in our summer at the end of year and avoid it! Good luck with the altering, I wish I was confident enough to try it myself.

    What amazing looking moths! I didn’t know they could look that pretty, might need to join instagram…..

    Happy weekend everyone 🙂

  7. Becky July 15, 2017 @ 1:44 pm

    I can’t wait for that sorry excuse of the pretend Romanovs to have to face up to all the garbage they have been flinging out. (If you watch Chris Matthews that is his term for drumpf and his family). They just lie and lie and lie and expect us to eat it up. So disgusting! And as par for the course he was a pig in France….no surprise there. And I do hate to insult pigs…love those summer BLTs.
    I am really fascinated with the moths. They are gorgeous. Will definitely check out her blog.
    I hear you about the clothes. I am not a seamstress so I am at the mercy of tjmax.

  8. Buffy July 15, 2017 @ 5:42 pm

    Capri pants should be worn with wedgies, not flats. That’s why all the examples you gave look terrible.
    The thing about capris is that you don’t have to shave your legs all the way up to wear them, but you MUST have heels that tighten the calf, which forces your spine into a straight line, which makes you look 5 years younger.
    Capris with flats means you’ve given up. Sad!

  9. Buffy July 15, 2017 @ 5:53 pm

    Unless you’re like Megan and are really short, in which case capris are pants. Wedgies not needed.
    I am 5 foot 3 inches, so I love anything easy that makes me feel and look taller, and I hate shaving my legs, so capris and wedgies it is!

  10. Marilyn July 17, 2017 @ 7:57 pm

    You do make me smile with your drumph comments. And now fashion for the older woman, which I am one. I have actually found a shop I browse occasionally and the buyer is an older woman that buys for herself and enough for her customers. Sometimes they are missing pockets, which I just noticed today. I do like pockets and none of those off the shoulder things for sure.

  11. mary brickman July 18, 2017 @ 2:41 pm

    I enjoy the comments you make about the chizzler/con man in charge. He’s a schmuck; always has been. New Yorkers KNOW this.

    I have invited my family to celebrate the inevitable demise of der Drumph. So far I have six bottles of champagne for the occasion. Right now they’re laying on the bathroom floor, waiting to be put in the frig before the par-tay, BUT THERE WILL BE ONE
    COME ON DOWN WITH US, IF YOU WANT . Bring Top Cat

    Good advice about posture. I caught myself in a window, thinking I was standing straight. not so.
    Thanks, Vivian. YOU are in the public eye. You look great.

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