Author's Posts

So Easter Sunday came and went and I did not rush to Walgreen’s on Monday to buy all the left-over half-price chocolate bunnies so, Yay Me and my healthy lifestyle. Also, I still have a ton of candy in my freezer from my Day After Valentine’s Day shopping spree. 

I don’t observe Easter because I’m an atheist (not to brag) but I see that the religious are still at it:

The idol of the far right religious fuckwads, Der FuhrerFuckFace, wanted to wish his moron followers a Happy Easter but it came with an insane pre-amble:

 

This week the New York Times broke the story that Donald Trump’s  “Stop the Steal” campaign to overturn the election results last year, based on the big lie that Joe Biden’s victory was the result of wide-spread voter fraud, raised its money by de-frauding donors. Anyone who made a one-time gift of money to the campaign was auto-magically enrolled as a perpetual donor:

In my opinion, anyone who is dumb enough to give money to Trump deserves to suffer, I don’t care how broke and sick and crazy they are. However, more than a few of Donald’s donors got wind of the scheme and filed for refunds from their credit card companies:

 

The National Republican Congressional Committee (NRCC) uses a slightly different tactic to squeeze money from its idiot base:

In case you’re wondering, yeah, Republicans really are that stupid to fall for it:

This made me want to give Donald a call at his office at Mar-A-Lago to tell him that he’s still the biggest horse turd on the planet so I dialed 561 832 2600 but I’m still blocked from my first attempt to speak to “the piece of shit who incited the insurrection of January 6.” 

In the good news portion of todays blog, I have to tell you that not everyone spent Easter Sunday being a prick.  On April 4 a person on Twitter, @tayloralrick, was walking across the Longfellow Bridge in Boston and wrote: omg went for a walk and saw this man taking a picture of all his dogs and i almost cried.

Here’s the scene:

 

 

At this stage of the pandemic, who among us hasn’t experienced a sudden burst of emotion at some beautifully mundane moment that reminded you of the world before

Here would be a great place for me to drop such a story, of an encounter with normality that left me in tears for what we’ve all lost during this Covid Time, but I can’t think of one just now. I wish my life had more of a narrative arc but it’s still pretty random and desultory, which is why I’m not writing any more memoirs lately. 

However, I did get smacked with nostalgia for 1980 in the grocery store last week. I was in the rice aisle of my local ethnic food emporium, looking for that jasmine rice from Thailand that Top Cat likes so much, when I realized that my mind was suddenly flooded with images of riding in a mint-green Jaguar on a road trip to Montreal with an old boyfriend who I hadn’t thought of in ages.

It was because of the song playing on the muzak track, Christopher Cross’s Ride Like the Wind.

For those of you who don’t remember, Ride Like the Wind was the first single from Christopher Cross’s Grammy-winning self-titled debut album. It was released in February 1980 and  reached number 2 on the US charts for four consecutive weeks. That song was all over the radio that whole Spring.

In early June of 1980 I was 24 and I left America to spend two years in the Peace Corps in West Africa, so I gave that boyfriend, who was English and about 20 years older than I, Christopher Cross’s album as my going-away gift. I wonder if he’s still alive. The boyfriend, not Christopher Cross. Christopher Cross is still alive, at age 69, hanging out with Ringo Starr and his All Starr Band. He won 5 Grammies for that debut album, good for him. I didn’t have a TV in Africa so I had no way of knowing.

What a jumble it is, life in your 20s.

I’m cautious to identify as a Boomer because I know how much we are hated, for good reason, by Gen X, Millennials, and Gen Z. Because of how much we have fucked up,  the kids who came after us haven’t had as much room for missteps and false starts, like we Boomers did. There isn’t as much room for second or third chances, like we (me) had. I had plenty of time to grow up in the 1980s and 1990s, when all my mistakes were kept private and off-line, and jobs were relatively easy to come by, and life was squalid and we didn’t mind.

That was my train of thought, there in the rice aisle in the Mexican supermarket on Post Road on the north shore of Long Island last week.

I’m not usually a big fan of nostalgia but I went home and made a Ride Like the Wind playlist for my daily 5-mile run. I haven’t listened to it yet. I’m not 100% sure that I want to go back down that rabbit hole, only to resurface with the knowledge that what’s in front of me is a whole lot more finite than what is left behind.

Speaking of looking back, I wonder if the MAGA rioters will one day look back at January 6, 2021 and realize that that’s the day they fucked up their lives? Boy, I sure hope so.

Well, this one won’t look back to anything being as she’s dead and all, but maybe all the other 300+ arrestees might have a good long time in prison to ponder the life choices.

 

This blonde one is from Texas so, what do you expect? (Answer: 10 to 20.)

 

 

 

 

 

Oh no! I left Easter Sunday ramblings behind, and I forgot all about Mike Huckabee’s amusing tweet of the day:

 

 

 

Republican Congressman Matt Goetz, from the Florida panhandle, is still in deep trouble over his sleazy sex life:

 

 

 

 

In other Republican Pervert news:

 

 

While former Speaker of the House John Boehner craps on the MAGA-wing of his party, remember that he was one of the people who created the modern Republican party starting in the 1990s:

 

This was part of Boehner’s agenda back then:

 

 

 

 

That’s all the news that I have the patience for this week. 

One last tidbit before we get to the cats. Christopher Cross wrote Ride Like the Wind while he was high on acid. I miss those days, too.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Have a great weekend, everyone. If you need something to celebrate, remember that we have made it through the Australian Summer with the quietest fire season in a decade! Although the flooding situation was the worst in 50 years due to La Nina bringing in lots of cool and wet weather, the good news is that a billion animal lives were saved in 2021 and if that doesn’t make you happy, well, here’s a picture of a wombat in a wheelbarrow:

 

Happy now?

XXOO and see you next week.

 

 

Read more

I was called a Troll this week — twice. In internet lingo, a Troll is a person who intentionally upsets people by posting or tweeting “flame bait”, that is, an accusation or option that is so far out that people can’t help but want to scream at you through the ether and punch you.

While my words were indeed intentional, I didn’t want to start anything — I was just trying to give people helpful hints on how not to be stupid.

First case: Holly McCormack is a Democrat from Georgia who has announced that she is running against Trump-loving Marjorie Taylor Greene in 2022 and that’s well and fine, but this is her Twitter bio: Band mom, small business owner, and *actually* from northeast Georgia.

All I wrote was, in reply, “I’m all against MTG, but who cares that you’re a band mom??”

I didn’t even use the F-word, and I was really irritated by that fucking “band mom” credential, for obvious fucking reasons.

So I got a reply from another Twitter user that just said, “Troll”. It was the first time that I’d earned that distinction.

Second case: Some anonymous Twitter guy mused that he or she wanted to start a petition that called for “more voting rights and less millionaires.”

Well, you all know that I had to help. I responded: FEWER. Fewer millionaires, not less. It’s basis English, dude. Good luck with the petition.

Someone got offended that I would bother “a person of color” with an English lesson, and they even called me “dude” to use my words against me. To be honest, there was no indication that the original tweet was from a POC, and it actually made me laugh to think that it mattered, so I suspect that I was being trolled for being a “Troll”.

This here, below, is the kind of high-class trolling I aspire to, in this case in reply to the dip shit Republican representative of Ohio’s 2nd Congressional District:

I mostly stay out of trouble on Twitter. It’s my mouth that gets me in hot water and this week I was back on the phone trolling in the name of truth, justice, and to any others.

Maybe you’ve seen the footage of the sickening attack on a 65-year old Asian-American woman by a guy in broad daylight in mid-town Manhattan in front of a luxury apartment building while in the lobby of that building two doormen looked on and did nothing

Somebody tweeted out the phone number the management company of that luxury apartment building so I got on the phone and left a blistering message (but no F-bombs, I was keeping it classy) on the Brodsky Organization’s voice mail (they were smart to not put a person on the line), about the despicability of an organization that would hire such racists who would not help a person being beaten RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM.

Within hours, the Brodsky Organization released this:

Can you imagine being the union rep who has to defend these bums? 

The other phone call I made was to Donald Trump’s Mar-A-Logo office. You can talk to a real person there and tell them you want to speak to “That piece of shit who incited an insurrec—” but you won’t get much further because you’ll be hung up on.  However, you can feel good that you made working for Donald Trump really depressing for however long you were on the line.

Here’s the phone number:  561 832 2600.

It may seem to you that I spend a lot of time being sociable (see above) but lately I’ve discovered another interest: Footwear Design.

I’ve been buying my own shoes for, oh, 50 years now, and I still fuck it up. I bought a new pair of running shoes on the internet that I wore once. So I went to a store in person and bought another pair of running shoes…and once I had them on my feet for an hour they, they were also unwearable for exactly the same reason as the first pair: they were too high-cut around the ankles. It seems that I am incapable of snap judgements regarding the suitability of zapatos.

So here’s what I did:

Who knew that all you need, to customize your sneaks, is a pair of scissors and duct tape? I’m actually very proud of my resourcefulness. I’ve never seen the insides of a sneaker before, but now I know it’s mostly foam.

And now I have a stylish and super-comfy pair of one-of-a-kind running shoes. Yay me. Top Cat says he won’t be seen with me if I’m wearing these but he never comes running with me anyway.

This past week got off to a sad start with the freeing of that ship that had been stuck in the Suez Canal. Didn’t we all have great fun with Boaty McStuck Boatface? One guy even made a website so you could track the non-movement of it, at istheboatstillstuck.com:

Let’s return to that more innocent time, a week ago, when the whole world had something to laugh about:

 

All the red dots in the graphic below represent a man yelling unwanted advice on how to un-stuck the boat:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And then, one day, it was all over:

 

So much for the light side of the news. Let’s take a look at the fun and games of American politics, shall we? 

 

 

 

 

Remember Deborah Birx, the lady with the scarf, who stood behind Trump while he was telling Americans to inject disinfectant, or light, into themselves to cure COVID? She’s been on the television trying to convince us that she did the best she could to reign in the lies that the Trump administration told about the pandemic:

 

On March 26, Georgia’s Republican Governor Kemp signed into law a 98-page restriction on voters’ access to mail in ballots and drop boxes, instituted new ID requirements, gave the legislature more control over the returns, empowered the Republicans, and made it a criminal offense to give food or water to voters waiting in line.

 

 

 

Gov. Kemp singed the legislation behind closed doors in his office. State Representative Park Cannon knocked lightly on the door and was hauled of to jail by state police:

 

 

 

 

In case you’re wondering how it’s done, here’s how it’s done:

 

 

Things in Minnesota just got bad, but for a different reason:

This case was about a woman in Duluth who took one prescription pill and downed five shots of vodka at her home before going out o a bar. Seeing that she was drunk, the bouncer refused to let her in, so a 20-year old guy “picked her up” and took her back to his apartment, where she passed out. Then he raped, her, but, as you can see, the judge says it’s her fault for being drunk in the first place.

Here’s the judge, Paul Thissen:

Surprisingly, he is not a Republican; he’s a Democratic-Farmer-Labor (DFL) party leader. But he smirks like a shit-eating Republican.

So, to extrapolate, now that the MN Supreme Court ruled that if a woman chooses to drink, she can’t be raped because she “consented” to being blind drunk, then, if you rob or beat a drunk man, he has consented as well, right? Right?

Thissen runs for re-election in 2027. Should be an interesting campaign.

 

In more legal news:

The case (above) involved a Brooklynn judge and a plaintiff with a hair-line fracture on her leg, and it was the first day of jury selection when the 68-year old lawyer insisted that he couldn’t breathe with a face mask on. “Ok,” the judge said finally. “It hurts me to do it, but case dismissed.” 

And here’s the latest update re: America’s least favorite lawyer, the representative from Florida’s 1st Congressional District, Matt “He Looks Like a Cartoon of Butthead” Gaetz:

 

 

 

kIf you remember, Matt Gaetz is the dickhead who went to Wyoming to campaign against its lone representative, Liz Cheney, after Cheney voted to impeach Donald Trump. 

 

 

Matt Gaetz’s 1st Congressional District in Florida covers the state’s western panhandle:

 

But let’s face it, it’s not just the panhandle. All of Florida is a problem:

In case you thought that we’d finished with Georgia, YOU ARE WRONG! Marjorie Taylor Greene’s  4th Congressional District is known as “Georgia’s Florida”:

 

 

FunFact: Marjorie Taylor Greene ran unopposed in 2020, and got 74.7% of the vote.

Other Despicable Republican Women:

 

k

And that’s it for this week, Dear Readers. You Are Now Informed.

Anyone in the mood to look at some big goofy dogs?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Have a great weekend, everyone. I want you all to get out there and make your world a better place, or at least annoy the shit out of someone who deserves it. 

Or take a nice nap. That’s good, too.

XXOO

 

k

k

k

k

 

Read more

So, yeah, America is at it again.

Five days before a man walked into a Boulder, Colorado supermarket with an AR15-style pistol (technically, it was a Ruger AR-556) and shot 10 people to death, the National Rifle Association, the lobbying group for gun nuts in America, bragged about their great legal victory in … wait for it … Colorado:

I had something other than mass murder on my mind for this week’s blog and I was hoping that we could get through one week in America where I could blog about something trivial and mildly annoying in VivianWorld but nooooooo, we have to let this latest atrocity sink in:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Let’s check in with one of the biggest assholes in America, the representative of Colorado’s 3rd congressional District:

 

If you’ve been wondering how such an shit stain as Bobert got elected, I can answer that. She won her election in 2020 by 22,566 votes out of a total of 273,268 votes cast in a district is heavily Republican. This is who the Democrats put up to run against her:

Democratic candidate for U.S. House of Represenatives Colorado 3rd Congressional District Diane Mitsch Bush speaks to supporter during a rally in Montrose Colo., Saturday Oct. 27, 2018.

Diane Mitsch Bush is a retired sociology professor who served in the state house of representatives and she’s 71 years old. Why her? The Democrats couldn’t find a jalopy to run? I’m amazed she got 121,416 votes with those bangs. Happily, there are three very strong Democrats who have filed their intentions to challenge Bobert in 2022,  and there might be evidence that Bobert collaborated with the rioters at the Capitol on Jan.6 so her ass might be in jail for aiding and abetting sedition by then.  

In other world news, it’s weird out there:

Meanwhile, in Canada:

 

Sidney Powell is back in the news:

 

Her pointless law suits failed to overturn the legitimate results of the 2020 Presidential election, so the Republicans have been busy making sure that they can retain their minority rule in the future by voter suppression:

 

 

 

The senator from Mississippi, Cindy Hyde Smith, quoted the bible (Exodus 20:18, about keeping the Sabbath holy) as a reason for never, ever, EVER allowing for Sunday voting.

I fact checked this. She was indeed sworn into office on Sunday, January 3, 2021, by bible-clutcher Mike Pence, who was presiding as president of the 117th Congress. God I am so tired of these people.

 

But some times, SOMETIMES, Republicans make me laugh:

 

 

Kissing? Roll the film, Jimmy:

 

 

 

 

In other, much less important but far more entertaining news, there’s a woman in California who made an apartment for her cat:

OK, not a whole apartment…more of a sub-let in a corner of the living room:

That cat’s crib is nicer than mine (you’ve seen what my den couches look like).

P.S. I looked it up. Kids are still saying “crib” so I’m still, like, relevant.

And while we’re on the subject of cats, I’m going to end our visit this week with more cats, cat thoughts, cats, cat manners, cats, and cats.

OK?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

k

k

k

 

 

The photo on the right was taken after Patio Cat came inside to his forever home.

 

 

Have a great weekend, everyone. And no matter how bad the news will be when we meet again next Friday, I WILL write about the important things on my mind, which is deep thoughts about duct tape and people my age and the shortness of life.

 

 

XXOO

Read more

It was late afternoon on Saturday March 14, 2020 and I was in my Korean language class at the Korean Culture Center in Koreatown in midtown Manhattan. Only 4 people had shown up, so the teacher had the rest of the class on her laptop on something called “Zoom”. 

By then, the New York governor had already declared a “state of emergency” and had cancelled the Saint Patrick’s Day parade in Manhattan for the first time since 1762. On March 12, he had shut down all the theaters on Broadway, and had “contained” an outbreak in New Rochelle in Westchester County by quarantining the town and sending in National Guard troops to direct traffic away from the hot zone.

I thought the actions were drastic but necessary, as precautions against the spread of this new virus but, since I’m not a fan of the St. Pat’s Day parade and I rarely bother to go see anything on Broadway,  and I lived 35 miles away from New Rochelle, I felt that my life would be largely unaffected, except that I’d be washing my hands a lot more often and for a lot longer.

The Korean class ended, and I walked to Penn Station to get my train home to the north shore of Long Island.

That was the last time I had a normal day.

The next day, the mayor of New York City closed all the schools, including my Korean school, and on March 17 he issued a “shelter in place” order for all five boroughs. 

Lastly, by order of the governor, all of New York state went into lockdown at 8PM on Sunday, March 22, 2020.

The face masks, the isolation, the one-way aisles in the grocery store, the plexiglass partitions everywhere…that’s normal now.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

All in all, I’ve stayed pretty normal during this past year. As you know, a new kitten came into our lives last Summer, and she’s a delight, but she’s taken a tool on our den couches. these couches were already the cat’s favorite scratching posts and they looked really crappy, but Kimmy likes to get INSIDE and tear out the stuffing. So, in order to prevent her from eating the insides of our couches, I’ve had to take drastic measures:

Here the culprit, posing with her “work:”

Since last March 14, I have taken 45 Korean classes. It’s really thanks to Korean that I have had something to keep my brain engaged while in isolation.  It also means that, for this class alone, I’ve spent 67. 5 hours, on Zoom.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dear Reader Jeanie was right: if BTS had won the Grammy for Best Pop Performance by Group or Duo last Sunday, you wold have heard me scream all the way to Michigan. But, alas, the award went to Lady Gaga and Ariana Grande and in response, the people at TOPPS candy came out with a commemorative Garbage Pail Kids collectible card:

The Garbage Pail Kids are for, uh, kids, and they are supposed to be satirical and a little gross, but the image of the members of BTS being hammered like Whack-A-Moles was Not Right. I found out about it on Twitter, actually from a BTS fan in Israel, that BTS fans around the world were already organizing a protest. I did my bit, and emailed a short message to TOPPS that the image was offensive and requesting that it be removed. I got this reply:

Later the same day, my Twitter tl informed me:

Five hours after I had sent my email to TOPPS, the company replied to me:

I give TOPPS credit for taking responsibility, for removing the image, and for contacting me.

You might be wondering why would I and a few million others would bother about a Garbage Pail Kids card game:

You know…it’s always this fucking guy, ALWAYS. Some fucking guy has a problem, and it’s the fault of women, and the solution is to go kill the people who are responsible for this fucking guy’s failings. ALWAYS. Women always pay for men’s sexual frustrations and if you ask me, that’s the whole reason behind religion and the Republican party but let’s not digress. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So many people complained about this police spokesperson, Captain Jay Baker, and his “had a bad day” speech, that the county put out a press release:

 

 

 

It was a big deal that Korean musicians had been nominated for an American music award, and it was a big deal that a Korean-American movie, Minari, had been nominated for an Oscar for Best Picture , along with a nomination for Best Director for its Korean-American director Lee Isaac Chung and two Korean-American actors from the movie for Best Actor, Steven Yeung, and Best Supporting Actress, Yuh-jung Youn. It had been a good week for Korean-Americans, and by extension, to all AAPI (Asian Americans and Pacific Islanders). And then this happened.

It’s also wrong and racist to keep referring to the spas as “massage parlors”, and for the narrative to be around “sex addiction”. 

 

We all know that this violence agains Asian women didn’t come out of nowhere. There have been over 3,400 hate crimes against Asian Americans since Trump started talking about the China virus. And, of course, it’s usually men who take out their anger over COVID’s affect on all of our lives in cowardly attacks on elderly Asians:

 

 

Are white men the problem? Here’s your answer:

And, while we’re dismantling white supremacy and general human stupidity, for god’s sake, let’s get this done:

 

 

 

Over 300 people have been arrested for their “alleged” participation in the riot during the insurrection in Washington DC on January 2, and then there’s this fucking guy:

Right. The Republican senator from Wisconsin says that Black Lives Matter protestors are scary, but the Trump rioters were “patriots” who ‘loved America”.

Well, Senator Shit For Brains, I’m a black Lives Matter protestor. I’m a 65-year old white lady from the suburbs. Do I look scary?

(Insert photo of me taken on my 65th birthday, and the correct answer is yes, Vivian, you do look scary.)

This is where my internet and/or WordPress crapped out, so I’m going to bring it to a finish with little further commentary and a bit less content than I had planned.

Let’s get back to the good news that over 300 of those insurrectionist fucks have been hunted down and arrested by the FBI:

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is the face of Revenge is a Dish Best Served Cold:

This is Merrick Garland, our new Attorney General, whose nomination to the Supreme Court by Barack Obama was held up forever by Mitch McDonnell. I know I say it too much, but Fuck You, Mitch.

How’s the rest of the Republican party doing?

 

 

 

Kevin McCarthy, leader the Republicanism the House of Representatives:

Liar and sex pest Madison Crawley Republican from North Carolina gets lesson in constitutional law from Ted Lieu, Democratic house member from southern California:

 

That’s the week that was, Dear Readers. I’m sorry I’m late today — my internet froze for an hour and I got up late.

Enjoy some cats and dogs and some interesting trivia about earthworms, for Dear Reader Steve, whose husband makes a mean earthworm chili and which apparently is not as icky as it sounds:

 

The caption for this snapshot: Only one of them knows they are going to see the vet.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Have a great weekend, everyone. Thank you for reading, and for being here each week during the pandemic. Let’s keep each other sane.

 

 

Read more

*******When I first learned that my blog was being attacked by an IP in Lativa I was insulted. Weren’t Latvians supposed to be cool? Didn’t they all wear Grateful Dead T-shirts to the medal ceremony when they won the bronze medal at the 1992 Olympics in Seoul?

Nope. That was Lithuania. 

So, anyway, somebody in Latvia has been bombarding my blog site for a few weeks, hundreds of times a day, trying to get “in” so, on Friday, WordPress had to lock my blog for its own protection until I updated the software. So I did and for now, the problem is solved. For now. I’m sure the Latvians are updating their malware as we speak.

So, in the future, if you can’t find me here, assume that it’s because of Latvians. 

And now for our regularly-schedule visit.*******

The COVID pandemic turns one year old on March 11 and I still haven’t processed how much life has changed, and how it will ever be normal again. Lordy, it’s been a tough year.

However, on the good side, Ruch Limbaugh died and is still dead.

 

I was in California on March 11, 2020, when I heard that the World Health Organization had declared that the spread of the corona virus had become a global pandemic, and I thought, Well, shit, I hope it will be over by the time I go see BTS  in May.

I got a lot of things wrong in 2020, but the one thing that I got right was when, in January, I predicted that 2020 was going to be the Year of BTS. I figured that if I, who had not been much interested in pop music for a decade and certainly was not into music made by Koreans had become a fan, then it meant that no one was safe from these guys.

And it turns out that in 2020, BTS became the best-selling musicians in the world. Here’s the BBC:

Billboard:

Forbes:

It’s the first time that non-English-speaking performers have topped the list, which for example usually looks like this:

This is a big deal. Because it’s Korea, of all places, and if you think racism isn’t a factor in repressing the careers of Asian artists, all you have to do is look at this tweet from a Forbes music journalist:

Hugh McIntyre is only in his 30s.  I’ve been around since 1956, so I’m not shocked at all about  how stupid people can be. 

I’m bringing you this update on current musical trends because I want you all, Dear Readers, to be up on the latest in pop culture and its attendant shift in the nexus of contemporary civilization. Also, this Sunday night you can watch the Grammies to see what happens when BTS is the first Asian group to be up for Best Pop Duo/Group Performance. It will be historic.

You might be signing up for Korean lessons some day soon.

Also, I’ve been spending a considerable amount of time on the internet lately, looking at photos of Corgis and reading Corgi blogs. 

I’ve been around since 1956 and I’ve never had a Corgi. I think I might need a Corgi in my life. Does anyone know, first hand, if they are good with cats?

OK, so now all of you are caught up with the news here in VivianWorld. Let’s see what’s been going on outside of Corgis and BTS, shall we?

 

 

*** I had to look this up. It’s true that Kanye West sells items like this with holes in them, what he calls “ripped homeless sweaters”, but they only cost $2,243. And a retailer who sells these things has assured us that they are worth every penny:

Yeah, it’s all pretty funny.

But this isn’t:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is how Donald Trump, who is still banned by Twitter, tries to tweet, and this is what he really put out:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So, how’s the insurrection thing going?

Remember her?

She’s got a new scam going:

 

 

 

I got news for all those fuck-wad “patriots” who rioted at the Capitol on January 6, 2021:

 

 

That includes those terrorists who are posing as Republicans in congress:

Lauren Bobert is the asshole who represents Colorado’s Third congressional district. 

 

That’s the news for now. 

And now, to get us in the weekend mood:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’ve been around since 1956, so I find this funny:

 

Have a great weekend, everyone. If there are Latvians getting you down in the dumps, remember the wisdom of the Trash Pandas:

 

Read more

This is a photograph of a Mercedes SUV stuck on top of a pile of snow, taken by me (yours truly) at 4:40 PM on March 3, 2021 here on the north shore of Long Island. I was driving my car on Stoneytown Road in Plandome Manor and I had to pull over, and stop laughing, to get this shot. I mean, it’s not every day you see an $80,000 – $109,000 car in this kind of compromising position.

Now, some people might have indulged in a moment of glee that some Gold Coast Karen had got her GLS-class luxury ride in a predicament, but not me. Yes, I was laughing, but I was laughing because it’s been a long pandemic and an even longer Trumpocracy and I had almost given up on finding anything delightful or inspiring about the human race, but this sight, here, renewed my faith in the wonder of people and I was full of mirth and delight.

I know how that SUV got stuck atop this pile of snow, its front wheels hanging uselessly in mid-air as its undercarriage is fixed at the apex of a frosty isosceles. (The tow truck showed up seconds after I snapped this pic.)

We’ve had snow, a lot of snow, on the ground here on the north shore of Long Island since the blizzard of February 1, which has been refreshened by picturesque snow dumps every five days or so. It’s been a very scenic Winter.

However, this past week, it’s been sunny and warmer, and things have begun to thaw out and the streets are clearing and some yards are even snow-free; the only remaining signs of Winter are the huuuuuge mounds of snow that were snow-plowed there on every street corner.

So, you’re in your Mercedes, and you’re about to make a right turn onto Cardinal Road, and you see a big pile of snow jutting out into the roadbed, and instead of making your way around it like you’ve been doing since February 1, you say to yourself, “Fuck it. I’m gonna see what five thousand pounds (2500 kilos) of luxury German engineering can do!”, and you gun it, straight into that pile of snow, that beautiful, slushy, smash-worthy pile of old snow.

Sadly, you’ve forgotten one thing. Sure, lately, it’s been sunny and in the 40s (degrees F; that’s 5 degrees C), but today is the first day of a brutal cold snap, and what was mere slush 24 hours ago is, in fact, today, a rock-hard pile of ice. 

And thus, your magnificent piece of Teutonic manufacture doesn’t get you through the snow; it has  enough powerful momentum to get you up the glacier-like incline but, because of the laws of physics and common sense, the front wheels lose purchase for the down-side and fate leaves you there, up in the air, stranded, to contemplate the life decisions that brought you to this stand-still. (You can’t see in the angle of my photo that the back wheels are also dangling a few inches above the asphalt.)

I, for one, applaud you, you hapless driver of Mercedes GLS-class SUV. You saw a chance, a chance to have a moment — a fleeting instant, a blink-of-an-eye millisecond — of fun in this sad and awful world (in the form of a pile of snow v. Stuttgart’s finest) and you went for it.

OK, things turned out to be not as fun as you expected, but there’s a German word for that (of course there’s a German word for that, the German language being rich in describing subtle shades of disappointment): Verschlimmbesserung, so it’s not as if you’ve been any more of a sad-sack than all those whose vast experience of let-downs provided the etymology for Verschlimmbesserung.

Take heart, dear driver, as I do, in your derring-do, your quest to feel larger and more alive, to break free from the dull constraints of pandemic routine, the maddening mediocrity of middle age (because no one young drives a Mercedes SUV), and the soul-robbing conformity of traffic laws.

You remind me what it is to feel alive.

No, not the feeling of the fruitless spinning of wheels, not the embarrassment of hoisting yourself onto your own literal or metaphoric iceberg, not the painful expense of rectifying a lapse in judgement.

The feeling of being truly alive is about feeling awake and welcoming to the possibilities of every moment, to leaping into the unknown, to surprising yourself with your own audaciousness.

Whoever you are, yon driver of that Mercedes GLS-class SUV on Cardinal Road, I want to be your new best friend.

Better yet, I want to make better friends with that part of me who would be stupid enough to plow my car into a pile of snow for chance to be in the middle of sparkly, shiny, ice-crystal smithereens. 

Let’s live it up while we can.

With this in mind, maybe this week’s news won’t seem so depressingly idiotic. Maybe we’ll even have a laugh at the lunacy.

Let’s test this theory, starting with the annual American conservative gathering-of-the-morons:

 

Conservatives, including evangelicals, lined up to get their photo taken with a golden statue of a calf Trump:

 

I’ll transcribe the caption for you: The statue that is turning heads at CPAC is really just an appetizer for the real thing, though. It’s the fiberglass mold of the stainless steel sculpture that Tommy Zagan (the artist) has stored in Tampa Florida. Making that statue cast him his life savings of $50,000. He apparently wants to sell that one for more the $1 million, but if he can’t, he wants it to go in the Trump Presidential Library. “It is museum-quality, and that’s the one I’m eventually hoping to get in the Trump library,” Zegan told CNN. “It’s is literally priceless.” [Even though Zegan has actually put a price on it.]

Zegan told Politico that the fiberglass was made in Mexico over a period of six months in the resort town of Rosario. He then took it to Tampa, Florida where it was painted in chrome, and then got a U-Haul to transport it to CPAC. “If someone offered me $100,00 I’d take it,” Zegan said.

P.S. Turns out, the statue was actually made in China. don’t tell the raid anti-China CPACers.

Speaking of morons, let’s see who the FBI has arrested lately for the insurrection of January 6:

Speaking of morons, let’s see what’s been happening in the Republican party:


 

FYI: Steve Scalise is the representative of Louisiana’s 1st congressional district:

 

The Republicans are suing in the Supreme Court to overturn voting rights in Arizona:

 

Speaking of morons, let’s see what’s news in TrumpWorld:

It can happen! Arrests can be made!!

 

 

 

And then this happened, and the Republicans were shitting themselves over “cancel culture”:

The fine print says: “If I Ran The Zoo”, “And To Think That I Saw It On Mulberry Street”, “On Beyond Zebra”, and “McElliot’s Pool” were among the six Dr. Seuss books that his estate said “portray people in ways that are hurtful and wrong.”

To own the libs, Don Jr. put out a photo of him and one of his spawn reading Cat in the Hat in defiance (Cat in the Hat is not one of the six books being put on the out-of-print list):

And everyone noticed that he was holding the book strangely…to cover up the fact that it’s a Spanish version of Cat in the Hat.

Other conservatives got on board, trying to slam-dunk on “cancel culture”:

Hey, guys? You know that “cancel culture” you’re bitching about?

 

Here’s a look at why the Seuss estate wants to “cancel” some of Dr. Seuss’s old books:

So that’s all the news I’ve got for you. So, now for something completely different:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This really happened, at London Euston station:

The tabby was spotted on an Avanti West Coast train, sitting atop the 125 m[h Pendolino service at 8:30PM on March 3. The train was due to leave for Manchester at 9PM. Passengers were put on a replacement train, as staff took this one out of service to try and coax the cat down. In total it took two and a half hours to coax the cat down to safety away from the 25,000-volt lines which power trains.

That’s all the cat news I have for you this week. But please enjoy these snippets about another furry delight, the American Trash Panda:

 

 

 

 

Have a great weekend, everyone. Go do something ridiculous, out of character, and pointless, and please have a ball while doing it. And then, tell us all about it.

XXOO

 

Read more

This came up on the inter webs a little too late last week for me to include it in my Feb. 19 round-up of Ted Cruz’s Excellent Adventure in Cancun but, luckily, this story has legs and he’s still getting shit for his shameful abandonment of his constituents during Texas’s sub-freezing weather catastrophe and for being, in general, an all-around anti-American neo-Nazi dickhead, so — enjoy!

It has come to my attention this past week that Mother Nature wants me dead. As I am past my re-productive years, I am useless to the biological mandate and, as such, The Evolutionary Imperative wants me to shuffle off to Buffalo ASAP. I got a reminder of that when, lately, I began waking up every morning with a number of little aches and pains. 

At first I thought that I’d slept funny, or maybe I wasn’t getting enough exercise. It’s been cold and snowy and I haven’t been running 5 miles every day as usual, so maybe it was time to brave the 23-degree wind chills and get back on track. 

So I did, and I still had to hobble out of bed each morning. The only thing that made me feel better was to do the stretching exercises that I normally reserve for a cool-down after my runs. So now I’m doing those stretching exercises first thing in the morning, just to be able to walk down a flight of stairs to give the cats breakfast.

I also have to do them both before and after my runs.

And that’s how I came to understand that this is what it is to age. Don’t take it personally, it’s not you getting slower, fatter, dumber, more achy. It’s AGE. Age is Mother Nature’s way of letting you know that your time is up. The more you can’t take that hint, the more you ignore Her, the more She will keep dropping bigger and bigger nudges until you get it, and do the decent thing, and die. 

Thus (yes, I wrote thus, to show how serious I am about this), coping with aging isn’t static. You have to keep upping the amount of time you spend fending off entropy. Those two minutes of limbering-up exercises that were OK on Monday won’t cut it on Friday. By Friday, your metabolism has slowed down even more — there goes that dark chocolate Milky Way bar you used to be able to have after lunch. The wrinkles on your face hang around all the time — there goes the myth of “laugh lines” and welcome to a new routine of moisturizing.  As for gliding to and fro with supernatural ease, you’ll have to double the amount of effort you make just in order to stay in the same lane that you were on Monday, that is, in the Not-Dead-Yet place (meaning, feeling good enough to think that, if the opportunity arose, you still had a shot at boinking Idris Elba).

And then, by the next Friday, you’ll have to double that. And so it goes. And goes. Until you give up. And die. However, now that I am informed, I will do whatever it takes to stave off the forces of nature that want to make life fattening, fatiguing, debilitating, and demoralizing.

Because I will never give up my hopes of, one day, boinking Idris Elba.

I will never allow myself to turn into Mamie Eisenhower:

Mamie Eisenhower, in 1953. She was 54 years old. This photo frightens me.

Oh, and by the way, last week the fact of my latest birthday, last month, finally hit home and I understand, with every fiber of my being, that I am 65 years old. Fuck.

Thank you to the Dear Readers who sent me birthday wishes. Now you know why I haven’t got back to you yet…it just sunk in. Fuck. 

But I am delighted that I am alive to see the NASA rover Perseverance land on Mars. MARS, people! WE MADE IT!!

For all of you who watched the landing parachute deploy as Perseverance floated to the surface of the Red Planet and said to yourselves, “Hmmmm, that looks like a binary code message to me…” I say YOU ARE AWESOME.

I also think that I need a motto. 

 

Back on Earth, Merrick Garland was affirmed as our new Attorney General, after having his Supreme Court nomination ditched by the Republican Senate when he was nominated by Barack Obama five years ago, and Ruch Limbaugh is still dead and I feel fine:

Our country reached a sad milestone:

 

One year ago, this was the president:

As the House of Representative investigates the insurrection of January 6, 2021, I am stocking up on champagne to celebrate the prosecution of a certain key player: 

 

 

 

 

Speaking of complete fucking idiots:

 

 

 

That’s Philip Grillo, from the borough of Queens, New York. Seriously, are all Republicans shitheads?

Oh, wait…I think I have the answer:

 

Back to Ted News, let’s watch Ted try to rehabilitate himself:

 

 

 

 

 

RAISE THE FUCKING MINIMUM WAGE! Why is there even a debate about this? WHY?!?!

 

 

Fuck South Dakota for sending this guy to the Senate.

 

 

Just remember, whenever you’re having a bad day, that no matter how aggravating it is to be you, at least you’re not John Thune.

 

 

 

What do you call a group of Corgis?

A Cuteness.

 

The latest thing from Japan is — wait for it — bread that looks like hamsters:

Yes, you can eat these, but would you? Peeps already give me the creeps…can I bite the head off of THIS??

Mr. Fluffers is not impressed:

This is a protest I can get behind:

Top Cat is taking me out tonight for Date Night and we’re going for Mexican food, and I don’t care if I have to run 10 miles to burn off the calories because Mexican food is not on my DON’T list:

And now for your weekly Kitty Glow-Ups:

 

 

 

 

 

Shelter Kitty to Hollywood-Ready:

Have a great weekend, everyone. Fight entropy, fight stupidity, fight Covid, fight climate change, fight Republicans, but lay off the penguins unless absolutely necessary.

 

 

Read more

So, we had this going on in the backyard this week:

 

I have three feeding stations for the backyard birds, including this one under the Pinot-Grigio-O-Meter table. We went through 40 pounds of bird seed this week because it was cold and birds use up a lot of energy to stay warm:

The Cardinals were looking particularly picturesque:

Cardinals are cowards, and they won’t scrum with the Blue Jays, Starlings, Doves, and the teeny brown birds for room at the feeder, so I have a trough for them on our kitchen patio because I have a soft spot for dim-witted birds.

Well, the week started off with an acquittal for Trump which I thought was going to be the biggest story so I harvested plenty of snark for you, but then the Texas Shit Show happened and then Rush Limbaugh died, so we have a LOT of content for you today. 

Let’s get right to it:

What was true for Trump’s first Senate trial is true for his second:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Nancy Pelosi has appointed retired Lt. General Russell Honore, who was the commander of the task force in charge of the military response to Hurricane Katrina with leading an independent investigation into the events and actors of the January 6 riot at the Capitol. Honore has a very active Twitter account and in the past he has been quite outspoken about what he saw on TV that day. Now that he’s in charge of rooting out the truth about the insurrection, I think it’s going to go well for Senator Josh Hawley of  Missouri:

But let’s catch up with what ex-Trumpers have been doing to keep themselves busy lately:

 

Yeah, we have to pay closer attention to these scumbags:

 

 

 

 

 

Here on the north shore of Long Island we got a foot of snow on the ground on February 1, and then we got 4 more inches between February 6 and 8, and today we’re going to add about 8 inches on top of that. So when we heard that Texas has its first snowfall since, oh I don’t know, 1812, it seemed funny:

 

 

But then the power went out, and pipes burst, and people froze in their homes, and hospitals had to evacuate because they had no running water, heat, or electricity, and it wasn’t so funny any more.

 

But let’s be clear why this happened in Texas:

 

 

 

 

 

I mean, even ARKANSAS did better in Winter Storm Uri:

 

 

The Republican mayor of Colorado City in west Texas, Tim Boyd, was fed up with constituents whining that they expected to have power and heat from the utility companies that they pay money to every month:

If you have the time, you really should read what he wrote about God and the people who pay taxes for his salary and public services who he was elected to serve. I have taken the time to type it here for you because, lordy, it’s classic Republican political philosophy:

Let me hurt some feelings while I have a minute, he begins. (Remember, this is what he posted in a public forum for all to read; he’s PROUD of this):

No one owes you are [sic] your family anything; nor is it the local government’s responsibility to support you during trying times like this! Sink or swim it’s your choice! The City and County, along with power providers or any other service owes you NOTHING! I’m sick and tired of people looking for a dam handout! If you don’t have electricity you step up and come up with a game plan to keep your family warm and safe. If you have no water you deal without and think outside of the box to survive and supply water for your family. If you are sitting at home in the cold because you have no power and are sitting there waiting for someone to come rescue you because your [sic] lazy is the direct result of your raising! Only the strong will survive and he weak will parish [sic]. Folks god has given us the tools to support ourselves in times like this. this is sadly a product of a socialist government where they feed people to believe that the FEW will work and others will become dependent for handouts. Am I sorry that you have been dealing without electricity and water: yes! But I’ll be damned if I’m going to provide for anyone that is capable of doing it themselves! We have lost sight of those in need and those that take advantage of the system and meshed them in to one group! bottom line quite crying and looking for a handout! Get off your ass and take care of your own family! 

 

Bottom line-DONT [sic] BE A PART OF PROBLEM, BE A PART OF THE SOLUTION!

Mayor Boyd is now the resigned, ex-mayor of Colorado City, west Texas.

Other Texans found ways to blame the Democratic Representative of New York’s 14th Congressional District, Alexandra Ocasio Cortex, commonly known as AOC:

Dan Crenshaw, another Texan politician, blames, uh, non-fossil fuel energy, but a rocket scientist named Holly Griffith ‘stained it to him:

Here’s Holly’s Twitter bio. Note that she’s actually a real rocket scientist!

Wind mills in Texas got a lot of blame, too, for causing the Texas power outage:

 

A guy who ran (and lost) for congress in Texas’ 14th district, named Joshua Foxworth, tweeted that there were too many illegal people in Texas using up Texans’ rightful electricity: 

Here’s Joshua Foxworth’s Twitter bio. See what he lists as his first bragging point:

Where does Texas get all these shitbags from??? Because we haven’t even gotten to Ted Cruise yet and I am fed up with these guys already.

 

 

On Wednesday, February 17, Ted Cruise, the junior senator from Texas, took a trip to Cancun in the midst of his state’s worst human disaster in decades.

Ted Cruz voted against giving federal disaster relief to New York and New Jersey when our states were ravaged by Super Storm Sandy and we here in Too Many Cats Estates here on the north shore of Long Island did’t have power for six days, and he’s a racist anti-immigrationist, and he voted to exonerate Trump at his impeachment trial, and he also voted to negate the electoral votes of Georgia, so, fuck off, Ted Cruz.

 

All this shit with Cruz blew up on Thursday and as of Friday morning, Cancun Cruz is still trending on Twitter. He might not be able to live this one down — it’s like Al Capone getting busted for tax evasion: his constituents were OK with him being the Senate’s biggest liar and asshole, but this trip to Mexico is what will get them really riled up…

 

 

Also, Don Trump Jr is trending this Friday morning for this tweet of his:

Here’s a small sample of the blowback:

And, lastly, Rush Limbaugh finally died on February 17 and as he shuffles off this mortal coil, let’s give him the send-off he deserves:

 

 

 

OK, are we caught up with the current events? Yes?

Then bring on the cats:

This is an old one but it’s still funny. Because it’s true.

 

 

 

And more Kitten-to-Cat glow-ups:

 

 

 

 

Another Rescue-kitty to Handsome dude:

 

 

 

 

Have a great weekend, everyone. May all your brownies be edge prices, and all your days make you feel as good as the day Rush Limbaugh died, and please remember this bit of wisdom I learned on the internet today:

Your chances of being killed by a giraffe are low but never zero.

XXOO

 

 

Read more

 

Speaking of getting vaccinated. . . 

Top Cat’s two kids in California worked the phones for weeks, and yesterday they finally got us an appointment for the Covid-19  vaccination here in New York state!

It was a same-day appointment so, at 5 o’clock in the evening, we bundled up and trudged through a foot of snow to a hospital in Queens and by 6:30 PM we were shot and half-way to being corona-proof, and sorry that Long Island is still in lock-down mode and we couldn’t go out for a celebratory dinner, or drink. We were that giddy.

The rule is that you have to hang around the hospital for 15 minutes after you get shot (or “jabbed”, as they say in the UK but, interestingly, not in Australia, where they, like us, say “shot”, and where they also call a tight Speedo a “budgie smuggler” and I’ve been laughing all day about that one). The nurses want to make sure you don’t have a bad reaction to the vaccine, so as I presented my paperwork to the attending health care professional in the waiting area, she looked at my form and asked me to say my name.

“Vivian”, I said, wondering if this was part of the screening. You see, Top Cat and I are in the official Old Farts category of vaccine recipients, so maybe the young lady wanted to make sure I still had my marbles, you know, in that I could remember my name and not bore her with stories about the price of bread in 1977.

It was 32 cents! A loaf of Wonder bread was 32 cents!!

Anyway, I tell her my name and she exclaims, “That’s so pretty!” She says, “I’ve never heard of this name before. I didn’t know how to pronounce it.”

This is not the usual reaction to my name. Six times in my life I’ve been asked, about my full moniker, Vivian Swift, “Is that your real name?” Fewer times than that — exactly twice — I’ve had someone say, about “Vivian”, “That’s my name too!” 

It’s a rule. When two Vivians meet, you have to get all excited and become best friends.

That’s because there aren’t a lot of Vivians out there in the  world, but I would have expected a full-grown woman of what looked to me European descent would have come across “Vivian” at least once in her life. So, that was weird.

P.S. My twin sister goes by a nickname that is rather unusual and no one has ever asked her if that’s her real name, although one guy did go, “That’s my dog’s name!” Her name is Elizabeth, but everyone calls her Buffy. 

During registration for the vaccine at the hospital, I was asked “What is your ethnicity?” and I’m pretty sure that’s the first time I’ve ever been asked that. I had to think hard. Scottish-American? White? Anglo? From the gene pool that made Appalachia great?

I went with “Caucasian,” but I didn’t feel good about it. The woman questioning me was African-American and I’m 75% sure that word doesn’t have a whole lot of positive connotations for her.

She also asked me about my religion. I briefly considered saying “None,” but decided to be more pro-active. I said, “Atheist.”

So, that was weird, too. Top Cat and I assume that these questions were for statistical purposes, and not a way to make the experience of getting a longed-for vaccination in the middle of a pandemic even more bizarre than it had to be. Because it was bizarre.

Here’s the surprising thing: The hospital, in the heart of Queens, New York, was practically empty. It was almost creepy. Although there was a loooong line of chairs looping around the enormous lobby, all appropriately socially distanced, there was no one sitting in them.  There was no waiting at all, and we’ve been trying to register on-line for a month. It was Top Cat’s daughter who called this hospital from Los Angeles, got a top administrator on the phone. explained our situation, and got us these coveted slots for vaccination. Go figure.

Once we did the registration, we went immediately into the vaccination tent (it’s indoors, isolated from the rest of the hospital; technically, the tent was set up in the atrium) and signed more paperwork, and then we were seated in another screened-in area with a nurse. We didn’t get shot together. The nurse-to-patient ratio is strictly one-to-one.

BTW, The hospital was giving two vaccines: the Pfizer and the Moderna, and it was random that we got Pfizer but Top Cat says that’s the one he wanted anyway.

I hate shots like crazy, so the most anxious time for me was sitting with the nurse, waiting for the vaccine to be made up. It seems that each syringe is made individually, and it was 5 minutes or so before mine came, sealed in a plastic envelope, delivered on a tray. 

“This will be a little cold,” the nurse said, and I’m thinking that I’m about to get shot with fluid that was, until 5 minutes ago, being stored at -80 degrees centigrade (-176 degrees Fahrenheit), and I began to sweat. Turns out she was talking about the alcohol swab that she rubbed my arm with. It was cold. I flinched.

The shot itself lasts less than a second, and I managed to jump at that, too. “Ha ha,” the nurse said, “You very nervous!” (She was of Asian ethnicity.) Another nurse, passing by, said to me, “How does it feel? Pretty good, right?” I said, “It does feel good!”, and she said, “Congratulations!”

My arm didn’t hurt right away, but it aches this morning. It’s not like I’m injured or anything, it’s more like the ache you get from thinking you can start doing multiple dead-lifts on your first day of weight training and the next day your body says,  “Don’t pull that shit again.” I speak from personal experience.

We get our second shots on March 4. We’re going to plan something awesome to celebrate what, for us, finally feels like The Beginning Of The End.

Meanwhile, in another news this week, it bears to be repeated:

And this happened, when the MSNBC news commentator, Rachel Maddow, was sued by the network that broadcast the My Pillow guy’s two-hour video filled with baseless conspiracy theories about the election being rigged and placed blame on electronic voting system companies Dominion and Smartmatic:

And a reminder of how different it is to not live in Trump’s America anymore:

 

And another Republican who thought Covid was just like the flu had a little rendezvous with karma on February 7:

Meanwhile, the House of Representative sent their Impeachment managers over to the Senate to begin presenting their case that Donald Trump should be found guilty of denigrating his path of office:

 

 

The Republicans, who want to avoid dealing with the merits of the case, are trying to hide behind procedural arguments, such as the one about it not being constitutional to hold a trial for an ex-president:

And this:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is to get you all in the Weekend Mood:

 

 

 

 

From Kitten to Cat photos:

He started out a rescue, and now he’s a beautiful boy.

 

 

It’s the same tie.

 

 

 

Have a great weekend, everyone! We’ll meet here next Friday and vent about how the Republicans have let Donald Trump get away with inciting sedition, bandwe’ll do it together so we don’t have to scream into the void alone. 

Don’t spend too much time googling for photos of “budgie smugglers”, because before you know it, it’s early afternoon and your blog is late and you are regretting all your life choices that did not make you Australian. I speak from personal experience. 

 

Read more

The second major blizzard of the season rolled onto the north shore of Long Island last Sunday.

It’s still exciting to prepare for a big snow dump. You check your refrigerator and your books and your  laundry and your Netflix queue to make sure that you have enough supplies to tide your body and mind over if you get snowed in for a few days.

I put my Champagne-O-Meter on the den patio table (with bird seed — the Cardinals are too shy the and Blue Jays are too big for the feeder so they dine where they can scootch their feets in the food) and went to bed.

The next morning we woke up to this:

Winter Storm Orlena was a big, slow-moving nor’easter … and that’s the last time I’m using that term because I don’t like it. I grew up in Pennsylvania in the 1960s and ’70s and I never heard the term “nor’easter” until newscasters started using it in the early 1990s. I think the Weather Channel made it up, and turned us all into  old squinty-eyed farmers from Maine, giving the sky a side-eye and predicting a “nor’easter”. 

P.S. The Weather Chanel also came up with the gimmick of naming Winter storms. But I’m OK with that. It helps to keep them straight.

Anyway, the storm was slow-moving, so we spent the day watching big, fluffy, lazy snowflakes making a thick Winter blanket.

By early afternoon, the snow was mixed with rain:

The big question: Would the snow cover the tippy-top of the Champagne-O-Meter???

 

Those ears belong to Bibs, watching the birds dine on the food that I waded out, four times that day, to throw down for them.

Yep. Taffy certified Winter Storm Orlena at an even 12 inches (30.5 centimeters) here in the backyard of Too Many Cats Mansion:

The s-l-o-w pace of the day made Kimmy fell asleep and have sweet Winter dreams (of tackling Taffy when he least expects it…she’s really a pest and Taffy is her favorite target):

We didn’t dig out until Tuesday. Shoveling snow is something that Top Cat and I both enjoy, and it’s been too cold for me to do my daily 5-mile runs, so I was thrilled to have something to do!

Our snow-shoveling season was delayed a bit because Top Cat couldn’t find his snow-shoveling gloves. He kept saying, “I thought my red gloves were right here. Where are they?” pointing to the credenza in the kitchen that we call Chuck because neither of us likes the word “credenza”. 

“Have you seen my red gloves?” he asked me. 

I said, “You don’t have red gloves.”

“Yes I do,” he said. “They’re the gloves that I use for snow-shoveling. I’ve had them forever. My red gloves.”

I said, “Let’s look in the glove shelf in the hall closet.”

“They won’t be there,” Top Cat said. “I put them in Chuck’s top drawer. I know I did.”

I go to the hall closet and pull down some gloves from the glove shelf (where we keep all the gloves).

“Oh!,” Top Cat says, very surprised. “There they are! My red gloves!”

For the record, these are Top Cat’s red gloves:

I protest, “Those aren’t red!”

Top Cat considers this carefully, and looks at them closely as if seeing them for the first time. And he says, “Oh. Well. They’re not red now. But they used to be.”

It’s the little things like this that make me glad I married Top Cat. Because even when he’s annoying, he’s pretty cute.

It’s stayed cold all week and the snow has stayed beautiful and the Champagne-O-Meter has been outdoors the whole time, and we’re going to harvest it tonight for Friday Homemade Pizza Night. I am really looking forward to it.

I thought it was going to be a slow news week so I loaded some photos I’ve saved from the inter webs since last August to discuss my new hobby, but current events picked up on Wednesday so yes, this is going to be a looooong post, go get another cup of tea.

My new hobby is Saving the Planet. 

If we all buy just ONE item of clothing a year, we can turn the manufacturing of hideously wasteful fashion clothing into a green, self-sustaining industry. Jane Fonda, who is 83 years old, has vowed to not buy any new clothes, saying that she has closets full of stuff that she will just wear out. I don’t think that I have enough stuff in my closet to last me the next 20 years, but I do have a good supply.

I have a thing for jackets with zippers, and I have several really cool jackets with interesting zippers, and I have a really cool Ralph Lauren jacket that I bought three years ago and still haven’t worn yet, so I know how wasteful we are as clothing consumers.

But here’s a way to indulge your taste for cool clothes and still be environmentaly correct.

Jillian Owens has a blog called The Refashionista and here’s how she re-makes thrift store clothes into one-of-a-kind clothes. She can tailor anything, and she reproduces designer looks with $5.00 thrift store finds. 

Enjoy these Before and After shots:

 

I want to do this! As soon as thrift stores re-open, I’m going to find me some hideous dresses and rescue them.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lets all do this! 

Well, things have started getting crazy again, so let’s consider what we’ve been through this past week, starting with our coolest-ever Vice President doing the job that we elected her to do:

I got this in my Twitter fed on Wednesday, February 3

Yikes, what a year 2020 was. And 2021 got off to a hard start but. . . 

The biggest news story was the United States House of Representatives held a debate, and then a vote to remove Republican Georgia Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene from her committee assignments because of her many, many psychotic Twitter and Facebook postings that approved of killing Democratic members of Congress, spewed crazy conspiracy theories that Donald Trump was ridding the Deep State of its pedophiles, claimed that 9/11 never happened, and that the mass shooting murders at Parkland High School and Sandy Hook Elementary School were “false flag” operations staged to take away guns from Americans.

Oh, right…she also claimed that the fires that ravaged California last year were cause by lasers.

Lasers from space.

Owned by Jews.

Jewish space lasers.

 

 

 

The Republicans, in a tit-for-tat move, tried to remove Progressive Democratic New York Representative Alexandria Ocassio Cortez from her committee assignments. That didn’t go over too well.

 

The Republicans also tried to remove Republican Utah Representative Liz Cheney from her leadership position in the party because she voted to impeach Donal Trump. That didn’t go too well either. Liz Cheney is still the ## Republican in the House.

The My Pillow guy, Mike Lindell, is famous for trying to convince Trump to declare martial law in December to prevent the Democrats (and 80 million voters) from “stealing” the election. Certain retailers have retaliated by removing his pillows from their stores — Bed Bath and Beyond and J C Penny, for example. He’s also banned from Twitter for advocating for insurrection. 

This is real:

These guys are going to make their pillows in America, with union workers. They will ire ex-cons, and make their product environmentally sustainable.

I’m ready to buy their pillows.

Seriously.

Not for me — I swear by TempurPedic — but for Top Cat. He uses six pillows a night (don’t ask), and he’s due for new pillows. I would love to put Mike Lindell out of business!

The Screen Actors Guild voted to kick Donald Trump out of their union because, you know, insurrection, but Donald beat them to it. This is his resignation letter (and puh-leese, get a load of his letterhead!):

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And now, for something completely different, because as long as there are dogs and cats in the world, we will get through this:

First Halloween for a rescue dog and his human.

 

 

 

Somebody timed the shot of his two cats playing JUST RIGHT.

 

 

This little girl as five cats who love her.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Have a great weekend, everyone. See you all at the watermelon festival with your zip-lock bags. Watermelons are 92% water, so we have a lot in common. Meaning, I could cut out the middleman and just soak myself in tequila…yeah. I think that would be kinder to watermelons. Yeah. 

So, as I am putting on my coat for a run to the tequila store, I want to give you one last reason Why You Should Get A Cat:

k

k

Read more