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Yeah, that’s how I want to live life. I want to get dirty. I want to lose myself to pure exuberance anytime/anywhere, I want to bellyflop and make a mess and drench myself with the joy of being alive on this beautiful planet, I want to experience the rapture of sight and touch and taste and sunlight and sunsets, color and sparkle, and sweetness, and  I also want to be so damn cute that I can get away with anything.

Speaking of color and sparkle, I found the first Blue Jay feather of 2021. On Wednesday I had just started out on my daily run and I spied a gray feather on the roadway so I took a chance and picked it up — it was a primary flight feather (such as that one, above, on the bottom left). OK, that’s fine, a good omen and all, but I am greedy  so as I continued my run I said thank-you to the universe, but told the Great Spirit that I’s appreciate a tail feather, please (that’s the feather in the middle, above) because those are the big prize as far as Blue Jay feathers go.

75 minutes latermyI was on the return jog, less than three minutes from home, when I found it! I found a Blue Jay tail feather!

Actually, I found about a dozen tail feathers. And about 20 primary flight feathers, plus an array of brilliant secondaries and tertiaries. 

OK, I found a dead Blue Jay.

The bird was lying by the side of the road and I was thankful that it was early morning and no one’s dog had gotten to it first.  I said some words of gratitude to the bird spirit, and then I took off my T-shirt (I had a tank top on underneath) and wrapped it around this treasure and brought her/him (male and female Blue jays have identical plumage) home. Then I drove to the grocery store for corn meal and laid my bird to rest on a bed of corn meal, under a thick blanket of corn meal. 

This is the third deceased Blue Jay that I have had the honor to gather so I’m an old hand at the native American method of desiccation (bury the body in corn meal). So my bird will be in a linen-covered box in a cool, dry place for the next three months and then I will remove the feathers, and frame them in a shadow box for my collection. 

In case you’re wondering, it is illegal to stuff a Blue Jay or, for that matter, any song bird in America, and believe me, the taxidermists of North America are very honorable when it comes to strangers asking them if they will stuff a Blue Jay PLEASE. When I found my first dead Blue Jay I called taxidermists from Oregon to Ontario and not a single one would even consider doing a Blue Jay on the sly. Who knew that taxidermists had higher morals than politicians?

Trick question. EVERYBODY had higher morals than politicians.

Anyway, if stuffing a Blue Jay is illegal, I’m not sure it’s totally legal to possess the body of a Blue Jay, so don’t tell anyone that I have a dead Blue Jay in my cedar closet. 

Does this make me a hypocrite? I call myself an animal lover, but, then, I do have a dead Bue Jay in my cedar closet.

Taffy and Bibs (above), some of the live animals I share my living space with.

Teddy, the newest addition to our live live-in animals, had a grand week. He got a blue mousie filled with home-grown cat nip from Dear Reader MaryAnne from VA, and Teddy got drunk ASAP:

 

 

 

 

Teddy says, Wow, that’s good stuff. Thank you MaryAnne!

My vet has suggested that Teddy might not be a Ragdoll, but a Birman. He does have more of a Birman coloring, in that his points are more consistent with Birman than Ragdoll, and he has white mittens on all four feet. But he has a very Ragdoll personality, the main characteristic being that Ragdolls don’t like to be alone and they will follow their person from room to room.

I’m sitting in the den, and Teddy is the only cat who hangs around me here. He found a box that I had forgotten about under my desk, and this is him now:

*****

Shall we move on to the news of the week? 

Der Trumpf made a speech in North Carolina last weekend and whined about losing the election and hinting that he will be back in a big way and blah blah blah, but all anybody could talk about was whether or to he was wearing his pants backward. So, yeah, that’s all he’s good for these days, is for a little laugh, when he’s not trying to stoke another insurrection.

 

 

 

In other GOP (Republican) news, the Texas Attorney General wants everyone to know that he did his best to keep people of color and Democrats from voting in 2020:

 

 

And this MAGA shitbag, Steven Brandenburg:

Brandenburg intentionally removed 500 doses of the Moderna vaccine from its refrigeration during two successive overnight shifts in December, prosecutors said, possibly rendering them ineffective because the vaccine vials must be stored at specific temperatures.

Brandenburg then returned the vaccines to the refrigerator after knowing that they had been left out, leading to 57 people being injected with the potentially spoiled inoculations.

Brandenburg is an “admitted conspiracy theorist” who “told investigators that he believed that Covid-19 vaccine was not safe for people and could harm them and change their DNA.”

A federal judge on Tuesday sentenced the Wisconsin pharmacist to three years in prison.

After completing his 36-month sentence, Brandenburg will face another three years of supervised release. He was also ordered to pay $83,000 in restitution.

The Wisconsin Pharmacy Examining Board suspended Brandenburg’s license earlier this year, which prohibits him from practicing at state pharmacies.

*****

Some guy slapped French president Emmanuel Macron on Tuesday, and by Thursday the guy had already been hauled into court and sentenced:

Why can’t we act that fast re: MAGA shitbags?

 

GOP Rep. Mo Brooks was served a lawsuit filed against him by Democratic Rep. Eric Swalwell over the January 6 Capitol insurrection after months of trying to evade it.

“Well, Swalwell FINALLY did his job, served complaint (on my WIFE). HORRIBLE Swalwell’s team committed a CRIME by unlawfully sneaking INTO MY HOUSE & accosting my wife!” Brooks said on Twitter.  

Swalwell is suing former President Donald Trump, Donald Trump Jr., Brooks, and Rudy Giuliani for inciting the insurrection. He accused Brooks of dodging being served and hired a private investigator to track him down. 

Brooks was one of several GOP politicians who falsely claimed there was voter fraud in the 2020 election.

“Brooks-acting in his personal capacity- conspired with the other Defendants to undermine the election results by alleging, without evidence, that the election had been rigged and by pressuring elected officials, courts, and ultimately Congress to reject the results,” Swalwell’s lawsuit said.

The lawsuit said Brooks “directly incited the violence at the Capitol that followed” when he addressed the crowd before the riot, urging the crowd: “Today is the day American patriots start taking down names and kicking ass.”

And here’s the latest on those shitbags who decided to follow Mo Brooks’s advice and go kick ass on Jan. 6, 2021:

Prosecutors say Sean McHugh fought with police as the mob of Trump supporters tried to breach the Capitol. Police body cam footage captured McHugh yelling, “You guys like protecting pedophiles?” “you’re protecting communists,” “I’d be shaking in your little shit boots too,” and, “there is a Second Amendment behind us, what are you going to do then?”

McHugh was convicted in 2010 on a state charge of unlawful sex with a minor. He was sentenced to 240 days in jail (which he did not serve the full term) with four years of probation. The victim was 14-years-old and McHugh was 23 when the crime occurred. 

McHugh has been charged with 8 federal crimes in regards to the riot, including trespassing charges and charges of obstructing congressional proceedings and assaulting police officers with a dangerous weapon. He hasn’t entered a plea yet.

 

DES MOINES, Iowa (AP) — A Des Moines, Iowa, man pictured prominently with a QAnon shirt ahead of a crowd of insurgents inside the U.S. Capitol during the Jan. 6 attack asked a judge on Monday to release him from jail, saying “he feels deceived, recognizing that he bought into a pack of lies.”

Douglas Jensen, in a document filed by his attorney, said he believed he was a “true patriot” for going to Washington at the urging of President Donald Trump. He said his intention was to only observe.

Jensen claims he is “a victim of numerous conspiracy theories that were being fed to him over the internet by a number of very clever people, who were uniquely equipped with slight, if any, moral or social consciousness.”

Jensen’s attorney Christopher Davis said in the document that Jensen was not part of any mob and simply went to Washington to watch. Davis acknowledged Jensen was in front of a crowd but argued he did that “for the now disclosed silly reason” to show his QAnon shirt to get it recognized.

Davis said Jensen neither threatened physical harm to anyone nor destroyed property. Jensen had his work pocketknife on him for protection when he went to the Trump rally preceding the march to the Capitol. However, video and photographs of Jensen have been widely distributed, showing him wearing a QAnon shirt as he pursued Capitol Police officer Eugene Goodman as a mob follows them up the stairs inside the Capitol.

Jensen, 41, was arrested and jailed in Des Moines two days after he returned home from Washington. 

The court document describes Jensen as the product of a dysfunctional childhood and said he doesn’t fully understand the reasons he was pulled into the QAnon conspiracy. It speculates he could have been influenced by a mid-life crisis, the pandemic, “or perhaps the message just seemed to elevate him from his ordinary life to an exalted status with an honorable goal.”

His love and concern for his family was a “wakeup call that ended his victimization,” Davis said in the court filing.

He asked for Jensen to be released to get his affairs in order. He said Jensen’s wife is willing to drive him home to Des Moines, where he would remain under house arrest.

 

Shawn Price, 26, of Rockaway, New Jersey, is a self-described member of the Proud Boys and held a leadership position in the extremist group’s northern New Jersey chapter, according to court documents. He was charged with six federal offenses over his alleged role in the attack and made his first court appearance in his home state Tuesday afternoon.

Price was seen in photos taken at the Capitol’s lower west terrace as a crowd pushed toward police as officers fired chemical irritants, the affidavit said. Price reportedly wore goggles.

In messages to another Facebook user identified as L.H.P., whom law enforcement understood to be his mother, Price wrote that he “led the storm” of the Capitol. Price allegedly sent her a video in which he calls U.S. Capitol Police “fucking scumbags” for shooting chemical irritants at the mob on the grounds of the Capitol. The Facebook user identified as Price’s mother asked him when he was heading home and told him to “get out of there” and to “try washing… with baby shampoo” to help with the pepper spray.

 

Stephanie Baez, a 27-year-old California woman, told authorities she traveled to Washington, DC, in January to attend then-President Donald Trump’s rally and to look at medical schools, according to court documents.

She was arrested in connection to the riot on Friday in Alabama, according to the Department of Justice. At the time of her arrest Baez told authorities that she had permission to be in the Capitol on January 6 because she had previously looked up the building’s operating hours to confirm it was open so she could tour the site.

Baez documented her experience during the attack in extensive Instagram posts, praising the “patriots” who “stormed” the Capitol and offering to give an interview to a fellow Instagram user.

*****

You know who is a better than all those MAGAt rats put together? Yeah, that’s right. An actual rat:

PHNOM PENH, Cambodia (AP) — After five years of sniffing out land mines and unexploded ordnance in Cambodia, Magawa is retiring. 

The African giant pouched rat has been the most successful rodent trained and overseen by a Belgian nonprofit, APOPO, to find land mines and alert his human handlers so the explosives can be safely removed. Last year, Magawa won a British charity’s top civilian award for animal bravery — an honor so far exclusively reserved for dogs. 

Magawa has cleared more than 141,000 square meters (1.5 million square feet) of land, the equivalent of some 20 football fields, sniffing out 71 land mines and 38 items of unexploded ordnance, according to APOPO. 

APOPO decided that African giant pouched rats were best suited to land mine clearance because their size allows them to walk across mine fields without triggering the explosives — and do it much more quickly than people. They also live up to eight years. 

In retirement, Magawa will live in his same cage as before and follow the same daily routine, but won’t be going out to the minefields anymore, said Lily Shallom, an APOPO spokeswoman.

He’ll be fed the same food, have playtime every day and get regular exercise and health checks. He eats mostly fresh fruit and vegetables, said Shallom, supplemented with small sun-dried fish for protein and imported pellets for vitamins and fiber. For 20-30 minutes a day, he is released into a larger cage with facilities such as a sandbox and a running wheel.

 

 

 

 

 

You might be wonderingHow do shitbags like Louie Gohmert get elected in the first place? It’s the old story, that mediocre white men are so sure of themselves that they get elected through sheer audacity. But it’s not just Republican politicians who get by in the world because of their entitlement. Here’s a selection of stories from a website that collects examples of Mansplaining from women in all walks of life, and it shows how highly most men think of themselves:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Here’s the antidote for all of that shitbaggery:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And that’s all for this week, Dear Readers. I hope you’ll find a great mud puddle this weekend, and go for a nice long dunk in exhilaration. BTS is dong two live concerts this weekend from South Korea, so you know Teddy and I will be back at this desk at 5:30 AM on Monday and Tuesday, watching the feed from Seoul Olympic Stadium.

And then we’ll both curl up in Teddy’s box and dream filthy, mud-splatterd dreams. Good dirt. Isn’t that what being alive’s all about?

See you next Friday.

XXOO

 

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Does everyone get the Game of Thrones reference? I’ve never watched the show, but I’ve picked up enough about it to find this funny. 

It’s almost Summer! Are we getting into the Summer mood? Or, if you’re in Australia, did your Summer of 2021 blow the doors off of Summer 2020? (Asking for a friend.)

Horror movie reference, the horror movie being I Know What You Did Last Summer.

 

The Office (American version) reference.

 

Avengers reference. And that’s the last hi-concept gag.

 

 

June is Pride Month! I support Pride Month and our LGBTQ family, and here’s news item that makes me believe that we are normalizing us straight people being LGBTQ allies…the arc of history does bend towards justice and acceptance and love:

Male teachers in Spain have been wearing skirts to school as part of a campaign challenging gender stereotypes. The Clothes Have No Gender (#LaRopaNoTieneGenero) movement was launched by Maths teacher Jose Piñas in November after one of his students was expelled and forced to visit a psychologist after wearing a skirt to school.

The drive gathered pace again last month when Manuel Ortega, 37, and Borja Velaquez, 36, of Virgen de Sacedon primary school in Valladolid ditched their trousers for skirts. The pair put their knees in the breeze for the month of May after seeing one of their students bullied for wearing a t-shirt featuring an anime character, forcing him to change outfit. Ortega said he was ‘horrified’ by the merciless teasing, which prompted him to team up with Velaquez and ‘promote tolerance by wearing a skirt for the month of May.

That said, I’m selfishly thinking that maybe this is the year that I get Top Cat to wear a kilt. He’s got the legs for it.

In other important news. . . 

I was rummaging through YouTube this past week, looking for new things to put on my exercise playlist. I had already put “5 O’Clock World” by The Vogues on one of my lists, so the algorithm fetched this gem for me:

I have not heard this song in, oh, 53 years. Yes, I was alive in 1968, and I remember hearing it on the AM radio as I sat in the back seat of our Ford Starliner . . .

. . .  when I was not fast enough to yell “Shotgun” first, when our mother took me and my sister to Lit Brothers department store in Willow Grove, Pennsylvania, for new Keds.

Turn Around got a second life when it was used in a horror film series called “Final Destination” in the early 2000s, and in a Volkswagen commercial in 2019, so younger kids know of the song.  I  browsed through the comments that a few of the 2.2 million listeners listeners on YouTube left for Turn Around, and I was quite touched. I’ve screen-shot a portion to show you, but the print is really small so I’ve also transcripted these for you, just keep scrolling.

Read all the way to the end:

John Wilkinson writes,     I’m 66 and know that nostalgia is a mild form of depression, but I don’t care. I love this s***.

Harley Atkins:      We started dating in June of 1968. She was wearing a ring that another guy gave her. He had moved away. We dated for a couple of months. This song became popular. I told her I really liked it and it felt like it applied to us. That was 52 years ago. We are still a couple.

Ray Brunka:        I’m 81 now and this takes me back to the 50s and 60s when I got married. I want to go back to that time.

poipu beachboy:     If you find a way Ray, let me know..  [Poipu is a beach in Hawaii]

WesB1972:      I am with you!

Gail UNDERHILL:     This is one of my top ten favorite songs!!! I’m a widow, so I slow dance while playing it.

SCP173:     these comments are all very sad…I’m 16.

* * * * *

Do you think that 16-year-old SCP173 is getting her first inkling of how fast life goes by? In 2074 this will be her, listening to the Song of Summer 2021, thinking about the good old days and her first love, wondering, Where did the time go? Where did the time go??

BTW, The Vogues are still performing their old hits, as a three-man group. DO NOT look up their 2020 videos on YouTube. The Vogues…

…were not hot guys in the 1960s, and they are certainly not hot guys 53 years later, and watching them sing Turn Around might make you shudder at what 53 years does to a human body, including yours, no matter what you think your mirror tells you. Hint: it ain’t pretty.

I don’t have any place else in this blog to put this fun news item below, so let me segue from Oldies From the 60s to Old Farts and Why We Are Fed Up With Them and Thier Trumper Asses:

Speaking of Trumper asses, the Republicans in the United States Congress were successful in voting down the proposition of setting up an official inquiry into the insurrection at the Capitol of January 6, 2021.

 

The Senate needed 10 Republican senators to vote with them to make the  60 votes out of 100 senators to pass the resolution, but they only got 6.

 

 

I think “shitbag” is my new favorite word when describing Republicans.

11 shitbag enators didn’t even bother to show up and vote for this bill, including 2 Democrats,who both cited”personal family reasons” for their absence:

 

 

Ted Lieu is the Democratic representative from the 33rd congressional district of California.

 

The usual Republican shitbags are out in full force, trying to topple our democracy. I  don’t know why the government hasn’t locked up these wing nuts for sedition yet:

 

 

And this 3-star asshole:

 

 

And just for fun, here’s a shitbag from the Potato State:

I can only trust that there is a huge Department of Justice machine in the background, working on a massive round-up of each and every seditionist and spewer of The Big Lie in the near future. 

 

This (below) almost made my Feel Good portion of the blog (but I have an even better MAGAt story to cheer you all up):

 

It’s almost comforting to know how delusional he really is, so that his downfall will be all the sweeter when he will be forced to face reality:

 

 

And now for a regular feature of this blog, the update on how goes the FBI investigation and arrests of shitbag insurrectionists:

 

 

 

A Florida man who wore a “Trump 2020” T-shirt and carried a Trump flag as he stormed the U.S. Capitol on Jan. 6 pleaded guilty Wednesday, becoming the second defendant to reach a plea deal in connection with the Capitol attach. 

Paul Allard Hodgkins, 38, pleaded guilty to one count of obstruction of an official proceeding on Wednesday, while four other charges were dismissed as part of a plea deal. Hodgkins told Judge Randolph D. Moss that he had been in counseling through his employer since his arrest.

Theoretically, the maximum sentence for the charge is 20 years in prison, but defendants rarely receive the maximum, and Hodgkins (who the government did not allege engaged in any violence) will almost certainly receive a much shorter sentence. The ultimate sentence will be determined by the judge, who will consider Hodgkins’ criminal history and other factors before imposing a sentence. Judge Moss said that, based on what he knows today, the sentencing recommendation under the guidelines would be between 15 and 21 months in prison.
*****

Meanwhile, shitbag Republican governors are signing away extra unemployment assistance to force minimum-wage workers back to their miserable, exploitive, unsafe jobs:

In Texas, the shitbag governor is legalizing the open carry of guns by anybody, anytime, anywhere:

A man with a holstered handgun visits the Texas capitol.

 

 

Remind me again. Why did we fight to keep these sites in the union? Any chance we can get them to secede some time soon?

 

Here is the long-awaited Feel Good portion of this week’s news:

Far-right Christian talk show host and all-around shitbag Rick Wiles has been hospitalized and was placed on oxygen after contracting coronavirus, less than a month after he said he would never get vaccinated. Last month he told his audience that he was not getting vaccinated against the virus because he believed the vaccine was being used to commit a “genocide” that would wipe out hundreds of millions of people.

I am not going to be vaccinated,” Wiles said, according to Right Wing Watch. “I’m going to be one of the survivors. I’m going to survive the genocide… The only good thing that will come out of this is a lot of stupid people will be killed off. If the vaccine wipes out a lot of stupid people, well, we’ll have a better world.”

TruNews, Wiles’ website, perhaps sensing that news of Wiles’s hospitalization would make his critics gleeful, warned of eternal damnation for anyone who is taking joy in his suffering:

“Already, the naysayers and mockers have started with their taunts,” the website said. “Let them speak their foolish words and let them mock. It will only serve to be used to fuel their flames of torment in hell unless they repent.”

Here’s some background on this shitbag:

When the COVID-19 virus began to spread around the world in late 2019 and early 2020, right-wing broadcaster and anti-semitic conspiracy theorist (and Christian) Rick Wiles immediately declared it to be a plague sent by God to purge the world of sin as the Last Days approached.

“There is a death angel on the loose right now,” Wiles said in January 2020.

When a board member of the LGBT Bar Association of Greater New York died of the virus in March 2020, Wiles proclaimed  that it was God’s judgment:

“There is a plague underway,” Wiles said. “There is a death angel across the world, and your only safety is in Christ.”

When an outbreak occurred at a synagogue in Israel in the same month, Wiles was quick to assert that it was a punishment from God:

“God is spreading it in your synagogues!” Wiles bellowed. “You are under judgment because you oppose his son, Jesus Christ. That is why you have a plague in your synagogues.”

 When vaccines became available in 2021, Wiles declared them to be part of an Antichrist plot to carry out a global genocide (against Christians, the most persecuted people on the planet [sarcasm here from yours truly]).

Rick Wiles is 67 years old, which puts him at high risk for serious complications of Covid. As of today, Friday, June 4, 20201, the shitbag is still alive, but I’crossing my fingers that I’ll be able to bring you good news of God’s judgment next week.

And while we are on the subject of Covid:

 

 

And now that we’re caught up with all the news of the past week, let’s unwind and relax into our pre-Friday well-deserved cocktail hour mode:

 

 

When I came across this I was SHOCKED:

I love chipotle chilis. I slather almost everything I eat with chipotle chilis. And Today I Learned (TIL) that a  chipotle chili is merely is dehydrated jalapeño. Well, who’d-a thunk it?

Enjoy these other TIL tidbits:

TIL that during WWI, the MI5 used Girl Guides to deliver secret messages. They used Girl Guides instead of Boy Scouts because they found that the Boy Scouts weren’t efficient enough, and they were boisterous, and talkative. 

 

TIL: Faced with severe pilot shortage during WWII, the USA started a program called WASP (Women Airfare Service Pilots) to train women to be pilots. 1100 women volunteered to fly military aircraft. They were finally granted military status in the 1970s and were awarded the Congressional Gold Medal in 2009.

Because of the lack of an Oxford comma in the wording of a state law laying out what activities qualify a worker for overtime pay, more than 120 drivers for the Oakhurst Dairy became eligible for a multi-million dollar settlement for unpaid overtime. 

(Speaking of commas, I read this headline (below) and thought that Harry Reid, the lead singer of Blink-182, had the same name as a famous Nevada politician and I thought to myself, “Huh, I didn’t know that he was also a terrorist negotiator,” and I’m, like,  smart…but that absent comma fooled me. BTW, if you have the chance to read the New Yorker magazine piece about UFOs, you should.)

 

TIL in Cuba, picking up hitchhikers is mandatory for government vehicles if passenger space is available. 

 

TIL of Ken Allen, a Borneo orangutan in the San Diego Zoo who escaped his enclosure three times. Ken never acted aggressively toward anyone during his escapes, and generally all he did was wander around the zoo looking at other animals. 

 

TIL the Meerkats are the most murderous animals on earth. 20% of all meerkats die at eh hands of another meerkat.

 

TIL that baby owls sleep down on their stomachs because their heads are too heavy. They do the until they are large enough to sleep upright.

 

TIL in 1980 the FBI formed a fake company and attempted to bribe members of Congress. Nearly 25% of those tested accepted the bribe, and were convicted.

(Ha! I’m old enough to remember Turn Around and ABSCAM! The guy pictured (above) is ex-Senator Harrison A. Williams of New Jersey, who served 2 years in a federal pen for accepting ABSCAM bribes, the first senator in 80 years to be thrown in jail. Let’s hope our Democratic leaders also remember a time when guilty people went to prison, even when they were senators, or ex-presidents, OK?)

 

TIL: There is a Canadian island called Devon Island, which is the largest uninhabited island in the world and it is used to simulate the Mars environment by scientists because of its uncanny similarity with the Martian surface.

 

 

TIL while the Venus Flytrap is available all over the world through cultivation, it only grows naturally in a small area in the coastal plain of North and South Carolina.

 

No one stops a guy or girl carrying a pizza. It can get you backstage to concerts.

(Do you think this works if you’re a 65-year-old Trump hater trying to get backstage at a BTS concert?)

TIL that Kyrgyzstan is more distant from the ocean than any other nation. At a minimum of 1620 miles from any ocean, it is the most land-locked state in the world. 

 

TIL that Louis Vuitton burn any excess stock at the end of each year to maintain exclusivity and avoid discount prices.

 

If you ask someone if they know ALL the words to “I’m a Little Teapot”, around 80% of the people you ask will start singing it. 

Half of those will do the hand gestures.

k

 

I cannot overstate how much dressing well and being well groomed will impact your life. It’ll drop the difficulty by two or three levels. No joke. People will treat you VASTLY differently. The oppositge is also true.

 

If you are punctual, smartly dressed, and quite friendly, you can actually get pretty far in most jobs without being that good at anything, or trying very hard.

(This is true. I’ve done it myself. )

 

Several times in life I’ve cold called a company to confirm my interview time. I didn’t have one prior to my call, but in their confusion and inability to even find my resume, I’ve managed to secure an interview about four out of five mites. Twice I’ve gotten the job offer.

(If anyone out there reading there actually tries this, let me know how it goes.)

 

 

 

As an adult, you can tell almost any kid who is running to stop running and they will.

 

Take a dollar bill and flip it over. Now take a 5 dollar bill and tape it to the upside down single with as little tape as possible. Now feed the 5 dollar bill into a change machine. The coin machine reads the “5”, gives you quarters, then reads the upside down single, rejects the bill, and boom, you got yourself a felony.

*****

And that’s it for this week, Dear Readers. 

Oh, wait!! We did a whole blog post without one cat!! 

Have a great weekend, everyone. As I am so fond of you all, I want to share my new favorite word, “shitbag”,  so all you have to do is say it five times in the appropriate context and it’s yours. If you live in America, that should take you, oh, five minutes.

See you next week.

XXOO

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The Big News

Here’s the big event here at Too Many Cats Manor:

This is Teddy, a blue-eyed lilac point Ragdoll, my dream cat, the first long hair cat I’ve ever had in my 65 years of being a cat person. Three weeks ago he was found wandering the mean streets of Melville, Long Island, an affluent hamlet with a population of 19,985 where median household income is $170,881 per year. So, yeah, it makes sense that their stray cats are purebred Ragdolls.

This tough customer was taken to a vet and scanned and yes, he is chipped, but the chip was never registered so, for all intents and purposes, he was a homeless cat.

I saw a photo of him on my next door neighbor’s phone and I said, “He’s mine.” So he came to us two weeks ago and I got him to the vet last Friday to get him cleared for integration into our herd. He is 5 – 7 years old and a little underweight at 12 pounds, but he’s in good condition except for some skin issues that should clear up with medicine in a few weeks. 

I’ve never had a long hard cat to care for, so I asked the vet to show me how to get knots out of his fur and I have to say, combing Teddy and un-knotting his luxurious fur  with his special comb is weirdly satisfying. He is a cuddle bug, a talker, and has the slow, easy-going temperament of a classic Ragdoll. He has to stay isolated from the other cats because of his skin condition, so he’s up in my workroom for now. I don’t get a lot of work done when I’m in my workroom because Teddy thinks that when we are together it’s 100% Teddy Time, and who am I to argue with the boss? He’s is beautiful, funny, likes people, and prefers not be picked up (if you reach for him, he’ll go limp and roll onto the floor and show you his tummy), and I adore him.

So that’s the big news I’ve kept under wraps for two weeks. I apologize if some of you were thinking that the news would be more momentous, such as the world held a secret vote and elected me Boss Of Everyone (I’m still standing by for the job, should I be elected, at any time, by the way), or that I got hit on the head and now speak English with a Portuguese accent. I am sorry if you are disappointed that it’s “only” cat news, but have you seen Teddy’s eyes?? 

Last week, Dear Reader Rachel took me to task about my crack that 1984 (the year) was 37 years old (in 2021), making it (in Alabama years) a toothless hag. Rachel happens to be related to several fine and gracious Alabama women who held on to their beauty and their elegance well into their 60s. I want to say that I am sorry for the wisecrack, and for defaming Alabama womanhood, when it is clearly Wyoming who sets the standard when we discuss slack-jawed in-bred MAGAts:

Anthony Bouchard has been a Wyoming State Senator since 2017 — yes, he holds public office — and here is what he had to say about being “outed” :

“So, bottom line, it’s a story when I was young, two teenagers, girl gets pregnant,” he said in the Facebook Live video. “You’ve heard those stories before. She was a little younger than me, so it’s like the Romeo and Juliet story.”

Got it? He’s Romeo, and the poor 14-year old child is Juliet. It’s romantic! And the stuff of classical literature!

Anyhow, the two were legally able to get married at the time because Florida law allowed underage  marriage with a judge’s approval if a pregnancy was involved and a parent consented. 

The lawmaker said he was pressured to abort the baby. “I wasn’t going to do it, and neither was she,” he said. “And there was pressure to have her banished from their family. Just pressure. Pressure to go hide somewhere. And the only thing I could see as the right thing to do was to get married and take care of him.”

That guy who thinks a rapist is just the kind of feller who should be in Congress, Brent Bozell, is an American conservative writer and activist who founded the Media Research Center and the Parents Television Council.  In addition, he serves on the board for the Catholic League for Oppressing Women and Covering Up Sex Crimes by Priests… I mean, the Catholic League for Religious and Civil Rights  and has served on the board of directors in the American conservative Union. 

So, anyway, Romeo and Juliet divorced after three years of shotgun marriage. Bouchard’s ex-wife killed herself when she was 20, he said. Online records list a woman with her name as dying in Jacksonville, Florida, in 1990 and being buried in Georgia. 

And about that baby that was born to two crap people:

“Sadly, he’s made some wrong choices in his life,” Bouchard said. “He’s almost become my estranged son. Some of the things that he’s got going on his life, I certainly don’t approve of them. But I’m not going to abandon him. I still love him. Just like when he was born.”

Bouchard’s son is currently in prison, awaiting trial on charges of  kidnapping and raping a 51-year old woman, those are the “wrong choices” that he’s made. Since when did kidnapping and rape become a “choice”? Are you as fed up as I am about people who white-wash evil deeds and truly terrible people by saying their disgusting, immoral, ugly acts are “choices”?

But, getting back to Dear Reader Rachel, let’s not let Alabama totally off the hook. 

Alabama’s anti-abortion law makes abortion after 20 weeks a felony, unless necessary to save a woman’s life or to avert serious risk of substantial and irreversible physical impairment of a major bodily function, not including psychological or emotional conditions.  Physicians in violation of the law would be guilty of a Class C felony which carries a one- to 10-year jail sentence and possibly a fine.  

 

 

Pennsylvania, you too can go fuck yourself:

 

 

In other Republican shitheel news:

 

 

 

 

President Biden wants a vote in the Senate to create a Jan 6 Insurrection commission by Memorial Day (May 31). 

 

 

This is a photo of the Republican senator from Wisconsin explaining to reporters why he will vote No for a Jan 6 investigation:

He’s in step with the leader of the Republican senators, Mitch McConnell:

 

 

 

 

Let’s check in on how the round-up of those seditious morons is going:

 

 

And here’s an interesting story about a rioter named Billy Chrestman, a 47-year old unemployed sheet metal worker from Kansas was charged with threatening to assault a federal law enforcement officer and carrying a wooden ax handle while in the Capitol building and on the grounds. Prosecutors allege that Chrestman, 47, was a key player in the riot:

Chrestman was receiving disability and was under the care of the Department of Veterans Affairs when he went to Washington to overthrow the 2020 election. His lawyers state that he should be released fro jail while he awaits trial because “His current detention status places him in danger of losing those significant benefits,” 

In addition to the health issues, the motion said, Chrestman has family obligations.  His lawyers filed a motion, telling the court: “The residence he shares with his common-law partner … and their six children is in danger of foreclosure, placing the whole nuclear family in jeopardy of homelessness,” it said.

Twitter was not impressed with Chrestman’s sob story:

What. A. Loser.

Meanwhile,  Republicans are still trying to screw working people:

Mind you, this is free money to the states. The federal government wants to underwrite the cost of giving working people an extra $300 a week in addition to their paltry state benefits which, in some cases, amounts to a mere $104 a month.

And then there’s this guy:

Jaimie Dimon, head of JPMorgan bank in 2008, got a $29 billion “loan” from the Federal Reserve to help it stay afloat during that year’s catastrophic financial crises; with that money, he bought Chase Manhattan bank to become the head of J P Morgan Chase. In 2013, Dimon reached a settlement with the Department of Justice after receiving the U.S. attorney’s draft complaint documenting its “alleged” role in underwriting fraudulent securities in the years leading up to the 2008 financial crisis. Following the bank’s $13 billion financial agreement, a record-setting settlement, the draft complaint was never filed. 

Jamie Dimon is a billionaire who thinks working people shouldn’t get $300 a week from the federal government in unemployment benefits during a pandemic. 

Fuck you, Jaimie Dimon.

It goes without saying that Mitch McConell should go fuck himself too:

 

 

 

And now for the Feel Good news:

 

 

 

 

And This:

If you’ve been to your local McDonald’s lately, you might have ordered some chicken nuggets and received, with them, two special dipping sauces:

That’s Korean of course, because of these guys:

McDonald’s has partnered with BTS to offer a special chicken meal with flavors inspired by South Korean cuisine. I didn’t know they had Cajuns in Korea, but, OK. 

My Twitter is overflowing with stories from BTS fans, known as ARMY, getting their BTS meal and associated BTS swag. For BTS fans and for some Asian Americans, just seeing the Korean language associated with a brand as ubiquitous and as “American” as McDonald’s has made them very emotional, in a time when racist violence against Asian Americans is at an all-time high.

One story stood out to me, told by a 40-year old ARMY whose husband drove her ,in their van,  to McDonald’s so she could get the BTS meal. She happened to meet another  ARMY in the line, a younger woman in her 20s, and they both fan-girled over the group and then they ran to their cars and exchanged BTS gifts which they, as crazy ARMYs do, keep on hand for when they meet what is called “an ARMY in the wild”.

Then the 40-year old ARMY got back to her husband . . . 

 

The nearest McDonald’s to me is two towns away, and I don’t like McDonald’s, and I haven’t eaten a Big Mac since the early 1990s, but I’m thinking of heading out today to get my BTS meal just to get those sauces and the paper bag that the meal comes in (it has the BTS logo on it). I can always give the nuggets to the raccoons.

Other Thoughts For The Day:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

They are also very smelly.

 

No cats this week. How about some amazing thrift store finds?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

That’s all for this week, Dear Readers. 

Have a great weekend, everyone. In America it’s a holiday weekend, Memorial Day, the unofficial start of Summer. It will be cool and rainy here on the north shore of Long Island, after a beautiful two week stretch of perfect low-humidity, 76 degree days. I bought us a hammock! We won’t get to use it this weekend, but I like the great indoors and I hope that everyone reading this will share what they love with someone — a friend, a partner, a stranger, ME IN THE COMMENTS SECTION — and feel connected and meaningful.

 

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This is how Spring is done on my street here on the north shore of Long Island:

April 13

 

late April

 

May 19

I live on a short street — there’s just six houses on my side of the avenue. This (above) is how it looks at the top of the street, and is where I begin each day when I go for my 6-mile run. But Long Island is a funny place. Sure, it looks like we’re in the middle of nature here and, in fact, it is very country-estate-like up in this area, and that’s why I love spending the best part of my day running around these back roads.  But this is the classy end of the street. That’s because this end of the street (above) is in what is actually called “The Estates“, while the other end of the street is in what we know as “The Heights“. The other end of the street is, well, what you’d call not classy:

That’s a small Persian restaurant on the left (with the blue awning) and that’s a paint store, on the right, where all the day laborers gather in the morning. My street intersects one of the main drags of Nassau County, Long Island. this intersection is busy and noisy and is infamous for its semi-annual car crashes. On the far corner, on the other side of this main drag,  is a car dealership. It sells Porches.

Our house — Too Many Cats Manor — is the third house down from the restaurant and is the last house in The Heights. Our next door neighbors, slightly uphill from us, officially live in The Estates. We in The Heights have to haul our trash cans out on the curb twice a week, which our neighbors in The Estates don’t have to do; the neighbor’s trash guys know where they store their rubbish and will fetch their trash bins personally, three times a week, which is classier. 

I’m explaining this to you so you’ll understand the context for my next story. I was on the phone, talking to a friend of my next door neighbor’s (the one who lives in The Estates) about a cat situation (she does rescue, like me). My next door neighbor’s friend was in her car, so the phone reception tended to blank out for a split second every once in a while. She was telling me about how she caught her latest cat, which she did while her husband was away — and the phone blanked out for a split second, and all I heard was something that sounded as if her husband had either “gone to London” or “gone hunting”.

I thought it over and, given what I know about this neck of the Long Island woods, it made much more sense to me that her husband had “gone to London”.

It turned out that, in fact, her husband had “gone hunting”. I was flabbergasted. I know far more people who have “gone to London” than who have ever “gone hunting”. Like, by a ratio of 20 to 1, and I think I’m lying about the “1” because I don’t want to sound like a Lady Bracknell, but I really can’t think of anyone I know who has “gone hunting”.

Is that just a Long Island thing? Or, am I too precious for this world, or what?

I know we have a diverse group of people who read this blog so I’m asking you: Do you know more people who have gone to London, or gone hunting? I will report my findings next week.

Meanwhile, about last week, about how I have a thing I was saving to tell you about this week, I can’t, because the thing that was supposed to happen at 9:30 AM on Monday got postponed (not by me) until 3:00 PM Friday, which hasn’t happened yet, so I am very sorry but I have to drag out the suspense one more week.

But speaking of London, a blogger-friend who lives in London AND YET probably still knows more people who have gone hunting, who you readers know as Steve in the Comments, reminded me last week that 1984 was 37 years ago.  37, in Alabama years, means 1984 is a Grandma with half her teeth missing and a dusty Precious Moments figurine collection. 1984 is olden days, done for, dark ages, old-fashioned…and I still remember 1984 as fun and with-it, wild and shocking.

Happily for me, I will never be a Grandma, having had the foresight to not have children, so Yours Truly will forever fun and with-it, wild and shocking. 

Let’s roll the tape:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

People age so differently, right? See below.

 

 

I love that this Grandma doesn’t, apparently, waste time doing much housework, either.

 

 

 

 

 

The political story that I am obsessed with this week is the Democrats’ attempt to form a Congressional inquiry into the insurrection on Jan. 6, 20201, when Trump supporters were ordered by their president to march to the Capitol and take their country back, whose ensuing riot was facilitated by certain enabling Republicans.  The Republicans are fighting the formation of this inquiry because they say they want to “move on”, but really it’s because they don’t want to be forced to lie under oath about what they did on Jan. 6.

 

 

 

 

Remember this guy (below) from last week? Representative Andrew Clyde? Republican from Georgia? Who said that the rioters were, for the most part, well-behaved and like regular tourists?

The internet isn’t finished with Representative Andrew Clyde yet:

 

This is from live TV coverage of the riot from inside the House of Representatives:

 

 

 

The caption to this reads, We always come in this way.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Here’s the best news yet — New York State Attorney General, Leticia James, is going after Trump and his spawn:

This is why I Love New York:

In other Bad News for Deplorables:

Remember this guy? The guy in the hat? Goes by the name QAnon Shaman?

He’s got a lawyer :

In case you can’t read the text, lawyer Albert Watkins says that “his client had Asperger’s syndrome and indicated that Chansley’s mental state — and the impact of Trump’s “propaganda” efforts — would play a role in his case. 

“A lot of these defendants — and I’m going to use the colloquial term, perhaps disrespectfully — but they’s all fuckig short-bus people,” Watkins told TPM (Talking Point Memo). “These people with brain damage, they’re fucking retarded, they’re on the goddam spectrum.”

“But they’re our brothers, our sisters, our neighbors, our coworkers — they’re part of our country. these aren’t bad people, they don’t have pro criminal history. Fuck, they were subject to four-plus years of goddam propaganda the likes of which the world has not seen since fucking Hitler.”

Hmmmmm. 

With a lawyer like this, who needs enemies?

Then there’s this guy:

After his arrest for allegedly storming the U.S. Capitol building and kicking a police officer on Jan. 6, Patrick Montgomery was released from custody and allowed to return to Colorado — with a few stipulations, including that he not possess any firearms.

So federal prosecutors said they were disturbed to learn that Montgomery recently shot and killed a 170-pound mountain lion and then proudly posed for photos with the corpse. Colorado officials say he also broke state laws because he was banned from owning firearms due to an old felony robbery conviction.

Federal prosecutors have files a motion to revoke his release and asked a judge to place the 48-year old on house arrest with a GPS monitor. He could also face new state charges.

YES PLEASE, throw this son of a bitch in jail. Or, give the mountain lions of Colorado their own rifles and declare Open Season on Patrick Montgomery.

And then there’s Traci Sunstrom:

Sunstrum faces the following charges according to a criminal complaint: entering and remaining in a restricted building or grounds, disorderly and disruptive conduct in a restricted building or grounds, disorderly conduct in a Capitol building, and parading, demonstrating or picketing in a Capitol building. No charges pending for having shitty taste in clothes.

 

Meanwhile, the Republicans are still re-conting the votes in Maricopa County, Arizona, looking for thousands of votes that were changed from Trump to Joe Biden, causing the Orange Shit Stain to lose the state’s 11 electoral votes. This is such a farce that even some Republicans have had enough:

Here’s the story from the AP:

The Republican who now leads the Arizona county elections department targeted by a GOP audit of the 2020 election results is slamming former President Donald Trump and others in his party for their continued falsehoods about how the election was run.

Maricopa County Recorder Stephen Richer on Saturday called a Trump statement accusing the county of deleting an elections database “unhinged” and called on other Republicans to stop the unfounded accusations.

“We can’t indulge these insane lies any longer. As a party. As a state. As a country,” Richer tweeted. Richer became recorder in January, after defeating the Democratic incumbent.

The former president’s statement came as Republican Senate President Karen Fann has demanded the Republican-dominated Maricopa County Board of Supervisors come to the Senate to answer questions raised by the private auditors she has hired. The Senate took possession of 2.1 million ballots and election equipment last month for what was supposed to be a three-week hand recount of the presidential race won by Democratic President Joe Biden. The re-count was supposed to have ended on May 14.

Instead, the auditors have moved as a snail’s pace and had to shut down Thursday after counting about 500,000 ballots. They plan to resume counting in a week, after high school graduation ceremonies planned for the Veterans Memorial Coliseum in Phoenix, which they rented for the recount.

Republican State Senate President Fann hired Cyber Ninjas, a Florida-based cybersecurity firm, to oversee an unprecedented, partisan review of the 2020 election in Arizona’s largest county. They are conducting a hand recount of all 2.1 million ballots and looking into baseless conspiracy theories suggesting there were problems with the election, which have grown popular with supporters of Trump.

“Enough with the defamation. Enough with the unfounded allegations,” Richer tweeted Thursday. “I came to this office to competently, fairly, and lawfully administer the duties of the office. Not to be accused by own party of shredding ballots and deleting files for an election I didn’t run. Enough.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Arizona Secretary of State Katie Hobbs said Thursday that the voting machines Republicans turned over to private companies as part of their audit (now called “fraudit”) of the 2020 elections are no longer safe for use in future elections.

In a letter sent to Maricopa County officials and shared with NBC News, Hobbs, a Democrat, cited security concerns about losing the chain of custody over the equipment when it was handed over to the auditors and urged the county to get new machines. If it does not, her office would consider decertifying the equipment involved in the audit, she wrote. That would remove the machines from service.

State Senate Republicans subpoenaed nearly 400 of Maricopa County’s election machines, along with ballots cast by voters in November’s election, to facilitate an unusual audit of the election results. The GOP hired private firms, led by the Florida-based cybersecurity company Cyber Ninjas, to do the work.

*****

Much like the Arizona re-count, the pandemic keeps dragging on. But we’re definitely at the beginning of the end, right? So here’s some final, last words about Covid:

 

Segue to the Feel Good portion of this blog:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The sign says,

Bad Day? Take a Pinwheel.

Have a great weekend, everyone. I hope Spring is lightning your heart, or Fall is mellowing your soul, depending on the hemisphere, either way they both go down well with pinwheels and Fridays and a nice cold glass of pinot grigio and this:

 

XXOO

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Actually, this is genius:

I got up last Sunday and puttered down to the kitchen to make tea and toast, as I usually do. I turned on the radio. NPR was strangely sentimental, telling story after story about moms and motherhood. Then the host of the morning show says, Happy Mother’s Day, everyone.

Well, crap. I thought Mother’s Day was THIS week, not last. I had some great Mother’s Day content lined up for you.

So, it’s a week late, but here’s your Mother’s Day wishes from me:

 

 

 

 

 

 

My headline (above),  The United States of Stupid, can apply almost any week of the year here in the USA, but this week brings us news of Americans going-the-extra-mile to be stupid.

As you might know, the Colonial Pipeline (a private, non-government, capitalist company) was held for ransom by Russian hackers who crippled the firm’s computers. This pipeline is 5,5000 miles long and it pumps 3 million gallons of gas a day and jet fuel from Texas to New York. This hacker attack shut down the pipeline on Saturday, May 8.

Bring on the panic buying.

The first states to get hit by a sudden drought of gas were the southern states. As of 4 pm ET Wednesday, May 12, 68% of all gas stations in North Carolina, 45% in Georgia, 49% in Virginia and 45% in South Carolina were without gasoline, according to Gas Buddy, an app that tracks fuel demand, prices and outages.

“This situation is now being exacerbated by panic buying and hoarding,” Frank Macchiarola, an executive at the American Petroleum Institute, said during a press briefing.

No shit, Sherlock.

Things are normal here on the north shore of Long Island, but in those southern states where gas is becoming scarce, it’s the Hunger Games out there, played by the god damn dumbest people on earth:

These are screen shots from a video of a woman filling up a plastic bag with gasoline. On the left, that’s her, lifting the bag and noticing that gasoline, in a plastic bag, is heavier than she thought. So she puts the gas-bag down, goes to her car, fetches another plastic bag, and that’s her, on the right, double-bagging her plastic bag of gas because, you know, safety first.

 

 

 

Don’t be this person either:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This photo (above) was taken in Florida, where the governor had to declare a state of emergency because people were panic-buying gas and hoarding it, causing shortages in south Florida but here’s the thing: Florida does not get its gas from the Colonial Pipeline.

 

Now that Joe Biden is president, I don’t spend a lot of time wishing for the good old days of 2008 – 2016, but something happened last week that made me miss the Obamas again. I miss their their natural elegance, their thoughtfulness, and their humanity. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Looking back, I realize that the Obamas were too good for us. Here’s your reality check:

 

In case you can’t read this, this is what is in the press release Trump sent out because he’s still banned from Twitter and Facebook:

The major Michigan Election Fraud case has just filed a bombshell pleading claiming votes were intentionally switched from President Trump to Joe Biden. The number of votes is MASSIVE and determinative. This will prove true in numerous other States. All Republicans must UNIFY and not let this happen. If a thief robs a jewelry store of all its diamonds (the 2020 Presidential Election), the diamonds must be returned. The Fake News media refuses to cover the greatest Election Fraud in the history of our Country. They have lost all credibility, but ultimately, they will have no choice!

 

 

And then there’s Arizona:

By subpoena, the state Senate took possession of 2.1 million ballots and nearly 400 election machines and turned them over to be audited by private companies, one of which has a CEO who promoted debunked election fraud theories after the election and was in the Ca[itol on Jan. 6.

One of the things they are looking for in the paper ballots are bamboo fibers, which will be proof that some of the ballots came from China and were part of the plot to rig the election in Joe Biden’s favor.

 

Meanwhile, in the US House of Representatives, the Republicans took a secret voice vote to throw Wyoming representative Liz Cheney from her leadership job — a secret voice vote so no Republican had to go on the record but, sure, Kevin. . . 

Liz Cheney’s crime was speaking the truth about the Big Lie that Trump won the election last November but the Democrats stole it:

 

 

 

 

 

So now there are Republicans who want to break away and form a separate party for the 2022 elections, who will work as hard as Liz Cheney will so that Trump never runs for president in 2024 and I just checked: I have enough popcorn to sit back and watch the blood bath. 

 

Let’s not forget that this happened this week:

We’re talking about Georgia Representative Andrew Clyde, who is of course a Republican (and gun shop owner) who was only elected to Congress in NOv. 2020. He made these remarks during a House Oversight Committee investigating the insurrection of Jan 6, 2021.He said:

“There was an undisciplined mob. There were some rioters, and some who committed acts of vandalism. But let me be clear, there was no insurrection and to call it an insurrection in my opinion, is a bold faced lie. Watching the TV footage of those who entered the Capitol, and walk through Statuary Hall showed people in an orderly fashion staying between the stanchions and ropes taking videos and pictures, you know.”

“If you didn’t know that TV footage was a video from January the sixth, you would actually think it was a normal tourist visit.”

 

Other Republicans backed Clyde:

“It was Trump supporters who lost their lives that day, not Trump supporters who were taking the lives of others,” said Rep. Jody Hice, Republican from Georgia.

Rep. Paul Gosar, R-Ariz., claimed that law enforcement officials were “harassing peaceful patriots.”

In case anyone needs to be reminded of what happened on Jan. 6:

Speaking of those peaceful patriots:

 

And this guy:

And this just in:

 

Jesus Christ, will you look at the time — we have to start wrapping this up:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Did you know this about the big McDonald’s strike?

McDonald’s workers in 15 US cities plan to strike for higher wages on May 19, the day before the company’s annual shareholders meeting.

Employees will go on strike to demand all McDonald’s workers make at least $15 per hour. So far, the strikes are planned for Los Angeles, Oakland, Sacramento, Miami, Tampa, Orlando, Chicago, Detroit, Flint, Kansas City, St Louis, Raleigh-Durham, Charleston, Houston, and Milwaukee. 

A McDonald’s spokesperson said: “It’s the responsibility of federal and local government to set minimum wage, and we’re open to dialogue so that any changes meet the needs of thousands of hardworking restaurant employees and the 2,000 McDonald’s independent owner/operators who run small businesses.”

In other words, “The government has tied our hands because they set the minimum wage.”

Hey, McDonald’s: Just because there’s an unreasonable low minimum wage on the books in every state doesn’t mean that you have to pay your workers minimum wage. It’s not like the government is forcing you to only pay minimum wage. 

And while we’re at it:

 

 

Re: COVID. This was interesting — I wondered why the second shot of vaccine is so much worse than the first.

And about COVID. . . 

This reminds me that I’ve been saving some non-Covid Words of Wisdom from the internet for you all, and now seems like a good time to share it:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

That’s enough self-improvement for now. Let’s look at cute animals and some wise-ass memes:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

More working cats:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

That’s it for this week, Dear Readers. There’s some exciting things happening here in Casa Too Many Cats on the north shore of Long Island that I will tell you all about next week, so, stay tuned and meet me here next Friday.

Have a great weekend, everyone. I hope all your walks are on the beach at midnight, all your cocktails are ice cold just the way you like, and that all your gasoline is not in a plastic bag.

 

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I got to my Zoom Korean class a little early last Wednesday, along with one other classmate, so while we were waiting for the others to show up I took advantage of the situation and I asked my classmate something I’d wanted to know for a while. She’s obviously not a youngster, and her reason for taking Korean language class is for the mental challenge of it. Meaning, she doesn’t know much about K-pop but she’s pretty good at grammar. So I asked her, “Irina, are you in your 60s yet?”

She answered that yes, she is; she’s 69 years old.

Crap. That means that I am not the oldest person ever to learn Korean. 

There go my bragging rights. Now it all hardly seems worth it.

 

Before we dive in to this week’s hilarity. . . 

 

 

 

 

. . . I have heard from some of you Dear Readers who can’t see the Comments to this blog. While  I have yet to call up the people who I pay to host this thing about this issue because I’m never in the mood to do technical admin stuff like that, I do have a suggestion that might work. Try using a different browser. If you use Firefox, for instance, try punching vivianswiftblog.com into Google, of instance, and see what happens. 

Let me know if this helps.

And now to all the delightfulness that is America in the week of April 30 – May 7:

To follow up on last week’s story about the cops in Loveland, Colorado, who arrested an elderly woman with dementia and broke her arm in the process:

Three down, about half a million to go.

More good news:

Former President  Donald Trump told Facebook’s oversight board that his supporters were “law-abiding” during the Capitol riot, arguing that nothing he said on Jan. 6 could “reasonably be interpreted as a threat to public safety,” according to portions of his comments made public on Wednesday, May 5.

The remarks were submitted to Facebook’s oversight board on Trump’s behalf by the American Center for Law and Justice, a conservative Christian group. The American Center of Law and Justice also claimed that it was “stunningly clear that in his speech there was no call to insurrection, no incitement to violence, and no threat to public safety in any manner, and described a “total absence of any serious linkage between Trump’s speech and the Capitol building incursion.”

However, federal investigators have identified substantial evidence that some of the rioters on Capitol Hill were directly inspired by Trump’s call to action earlier in the day. More than 400 Trump supporters have been arrested for their actions on Jan. 6, many of whom have said that they were acting on behalf of Trump and were inspired by his calls to march down to congress.

Trump’s actual words on Jan. 6: “We’re going to walk down to the Capitol, and we’re going to cheer on our brave senators, and congressmen and women,” Trump told his supporters shortly before the Capitol assault. “We’re probably not going to be cheering so much for some of them because you’ll never take back our country with weakness. You have to show strength, and you have to be strong.”

Thousands of Trump supporters, waving Trump or Confederate flags and wearing MAGA gear, descended upon the Capitol. They overwhelmed law enforcement, pushed past police barricades, and temporarily stopped Congress from counting electoral votes.

The Facebook oversight board decided to keep Trump off the platform because of his incessant rhetoric that incited violence. Twitter has banned Trump permanently, and this week also got rid of Trump’s “dummy” Twitter accounts.

 

 

 

 

Without his social media platforms, Trump has to rely on old fashioned Press Releases to get his crazy talk out to the public:

 

 

 

Breaking news:

Remember that reality show about the Dugger family from Bug Fuck, Arkansas?  19 Kids and Counting (formerly 17 Kids and Counting and 18 Kids and Counting)  aired on the cable channel TLC for seven years and featured the Duggar family: parents JimBob and Michelle Duggar and their 19 children – nine daughters and ten sons – all of whose names begin with the letter “J”. 

The show focused on the life of the Duggar family, who are devout Baptists, and and their frequent discussions on their deeply held values of purity, modesty and faith in God. It was cancelled in 2015 when it was discovered that the parents, Jim Bob and Michelle, had covered up the sexual depravity of their oldest son, Josh Duggar, who as a teenager had got in trouble or molesting 5 under-age girls (two of whom were his sisters).

Well, Josh Duggar’s been at it again:

Josh Duggar is charged with receiving and possessing material depicting the sexual abuse of children (200 images were retrieved from his computer), which have him facing up to 40 years in prison. 

I love this shit. I love it when religious people show us what their religion really is.

One of Josh Duggar’s sisters, Jinger, had recently written a book called — wait for it — The Hope We Hold: Finding Peace in the Promises of God. In it she briefly discussed her brother Josh, the sex pest. She writes, “One of my siblings had made some sinful choices, but it had been years ago. It had been awful, but we dealt with it as a family,” explaining that they “sought the Lord” and “took the necessary steps to move towards healing.”

She doesn’t mention that one month after her family’s show was cancelled, her brother Josh was involved in another scandal when a  news site discovered that Josh had active accounts on Ashley Madison, a website created to facilitate cheating on your spouse. 

Josh, then 33, confessed to having a pornography addiction and to cheating on his wife. The wife didn’t divorce him, nope. She made 6 babies with him, and as he was arrested for the child porn thing, she was pregnant with their 7th kid.

P. S. Jinger Duggar doesn’t feel so charitable about her brother Josh now that he’s been charged with being in the possession of child porn:

I wonder how these guys feel about their old buddy Josh:

 

 

 

Let’s take a look at what Mike Huckabee was doing back in 2015, when Josh Duggar’s molestation scandal broke:

Right. Mike Huckabee said it was terrible, absolutely terrible, that the Obamas let their teenage daughters listen to the “mental poison” of  Beyonce.

And here’s what Mike Huckabee, who is an evangelical and ordained Southern Baptist minister and who used to be the governor of Bug Fucking Arkansas, said about Josh Duggar molesting 5 under-age girls, including two of his own sisters:

“Josh’s actions when he was an underage teen are as he described them himself, ‘inexcusable,’ but that doesn’t mean ‘unforgivable.’ He and his family dealt with it and were honest and open about it with the victims and the authorities,” Huckabee wrote in a post on Facebook. “No purpose whatsoever is served by those who are now trying to discredit Josh or his family by sensationalizing the story. Good people make mistakes and do regrettable and even disgusting things.”

Really? Do “good people” molest their own sisters? Is molesting five under-age girls just a “mistake”? 

And here’s the latest:

 

In other Republican news:

 

 

 

 

 

 

Checking in with the other traitors:

This headline is wrong: It wasn’t the Florida National Guard — this asshole lives in Nevada.

Charlottesville, Virginia is where a bunch of white supremacists marched in a Unite the Right rally in August 2017, to protest the local government’s debate about pulling down several Confederate monuments. If you want to see the face of American nazisim, look no further than this photo of Peter Cytanovic (above).

So Cytanovic wanted to play soldier with the Nevada National Guard in November 2019, and his enlistment lasted a little over a year before the guard found out about his nazi past and ejected him. “Initial criminal and fingerprint checks found no record that would deny enlistment,”  said  spokesman for the Nevada National Guard. 

While Cytanovic has subsequently renounced white nationalism and has denied that he ever understood what the term meant when he described himself as such, his past actions and that iconic photo of him at Charlottesville done him in.

“The Nevada National Guard does not tolerate racist, extremist ideology,” the spokesman went on. “The Nevada National Guard took action immediately after discovering Mr. Cytanovic’s affiliations.”

So, Yay for that.

 

But holy shit, what is happening down in New Orleans, my favorite American city??

Did she just say “real facts”? And did she name drop Jesus Christ? Hang in there, Dear Readers, I’ll have more to say about Jesus H. Christ at the end of this post.

What do you call this?

Y’All Qaeda.

 

 

 

 

 

That’s enough for cats — this week I’m turning the end bits over to the dogs:

 

Photos of UPS drivers with the dogs they meet on their routes:

 

This driver keeps treats in his truck and these doggies know it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I don’t know why this makes me laugh.Did this ever happen on airplanes? Where did they store that huge salad bowl? Can you imagine this happening today??

 

That’s the whole enchilada this week, Dear Readers. Have a great weekend everyone, and now I’m thinking about enchiladas and how I need to have three of the Monterey Jack variety in my life asap but my favorite Mexican restaurant doesn’t open until noon and that’s three hours and 12 minutes from now, so now I guess I know what I’ll be doing for the next three hours and 12 minutes.

See you next Friday!

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That’s not my cat but then again, that’s not my mat, either. Our next-door neighbors, the ones who put a cat-sized hole  in their fence so our cats could move freely between properties, sent me this photo. That’s their back patio, and that’s Odie, who lives across the street. Odie visits us both. He flirts with the neighbor’s cats and he comes to our backyard to rile up Taffy with his “Quien Es Mas Macho” attitude. As you can see, he’s really handsome and you can’t help but like him, but he’s also a bit of a jerk.

This (below) is a photo of my dining room table when I am doing my Korean language homework. I will be finishing my 60th Korean class next Friday, giving me a grand total of 60 weeks/90 hours of instruction, equivalent to four college semesters. I have never, ever had to think this hard about anything, ever, in my life.

I am so proud of myself. This is what I wrote (using Korean’s 14 consonants and 22 vowels) for homework for Lesson #59  this week:

잔 녁 에 제 가 읽 은 책이 오 늘 친 구 가 저 한 테 준 책 보 다 재 미 있 었 어 요.

I’m going to explain why Korean is rated as the most difficult foreign language to learn. If you’re not into philology, you can skip to the memes about the English language (slightly below) and we’ll meet you there in a sec.

This sentence (above), is the most sophisticated sentence I’ve ever written in Korean. It means, “The book that I read last year is more interesting than the book that my friend gave me today.”

I’m color-coding the parts of speech so I can explain how they work in Korean.

“The book that I read last year” and “The book that my friend gave me today” are both relative clauses, which in Korean are written before the noun, so that it’s more like: “Last year read book” and “friend to me given book“.

The main verb — the only “real” verb —  in this sentence is notis“, it is “interesting” (which in the English version of this sentence is an adjective) because in Korean, there is a verb that means To Be Interesting. As the only verb in the sentence, “interesting” is the only verb that is conjugated, and like all Korean verbs, it goes at the end of the sentence. So the whole sentence goes something like this:

Last year read book compared to  friend to me given book is more interesting.

The  compared to in this sentence is not actually written, it’s only indicated by a little particle that signals “comparison” that has no equivalent in English. But, because of the particle that has no English equivalent, the reader of this sentence knows which book is more interesting (the one I read last year).

But that’s not all.

You’ll notice that each of these relative clauses contains a verb: to read, and to give. In Korean, these verbs are indeed conjugated, but not like regular verbs because only one verb per sentence can be conjugated like a regular verb. Verbs in relative clauses have special conjugations that are only for relative clause verbs, unrelated to the regular verb conjugations, and they have different forms for present, past, and future that make them behave a lot like adjectives (which are also conjugated in Korean, but differently). 

Fun Fact: In Korean, every verb has a regular form and an honorific form, and some have two honorific forms depending on whether the action is going to a person higher than you, or to a person lower than you, because of Confucianism. Since this sentence is about a friend, who is my equal, I am using the non-honorific forms of the verbs.

Each of these relative clauses also has a subject: in the first clause it’s “book“, and in the second clause it’s “friend“. In Korean, you have to put a subject particle after each subject noun to let the reader know what’s what, such as, in the case of the second clause, “The book that my friend gave me today”, the subject is “friend” and not “book” (which is the object).

 More Fun: The subject particle changes depending on whether the last letter in the subject noun is a vowel or a consonant and, in this sentence, one of the subject nouns ends in a vowel and the other subject noun ends in a consonant, so I have to use two different subject particles.

Also, Subject particles are different from topic particles and while a sentence can have both a subject and a topic which require particles, this sentence does not. So, whew.

One more thing: there is a time particle that has to go after “Last year”. 

P.S. There are also object particles, which are used when it is necessary to clarify which noun in a sentence is the subject and which one is the object, but in this sentence there is no such confusion because of the comparison particle, and by the way there is another set of comparison particles different from the one I’m using in this sentence for when comparisons are not explicit, but only implied. 

So, in conclusion:

잔 녁 에 제 가 읽 은 책이 오 늘 친 구 가 저 한 테 준 책 보 다 재 미 있 었 어 요.

Last year (time particle) read  (relative clause verb conjugation) book (subject particle)  friend (different subject particle) to me given (relative clause verb conjugation) book (comparison particle) is more interesting (regular verb conjugation).

P.S. For some reason, WordPress is screwing up my color-code in the published version. Sorry about that.

Any way, that’s why it takes 90 hours of Korean lessons to learn how to write this sentence.

I know what you’re wondering and No, before Korean Lesson #59, I had no idea what a relative clause was. And to answer your other question, Probably Not.

(Would you have started learning Korean if you had known that every fucking thing is conjugated and there were all those fucking particles?)

Is anyone else here acquiring a new skill? How’s it going? Anyone got any tips for teaching an old brain new tricks? Please?

My Korean teacher assures me that her learning English was harder than my learning Korean. (Wait. Did I get that right? Does anyone know other it’s “my” learning Korean or “me” learning Korean?)

 

 

 

 

 

But you don’t come here for Korean lessons. You come here for cold hard news of the week so let’s go!

“Budgie” is Brit-speak for “parakeet”. This little fellow was found on the deck of a UK Fisheries Protection vessel in the Cletic Sea, 25 miles from the Cornish (southwest English) coast by the chief engineer on board. The chief engineer simply put out his hand and the parakeet hopped on. He says the bird was clearly exhausted and seemed relieved to go inside.

“It’s very comfortable around people,” the chief says, and the budgie has been climbing on his shoulder and head. The crew has been feeding the little guy various things, with peanuts being the budgie’s clear favorite.

The crew are going to be on patrol for a while but another Fisheries officer, Madeleine Bradshaw, is scheduled to rendezvous with the ship. That officer will take the budgie back to shore and look after it until the owner is found. Failing that, the bird will have a new home with Bradshaw. 

It is rare for domesticated budgies to fly away  from their homes because the outdoors make them anxious. Because of this, they usually do not know how to get back home because they get overwhelmed with nerves.

Now, the Arctic Tern, a 4-ounce bird slightly larger than the American Robin, migrates every year from the North Pole to the South Pole, a round trip of 18,681 miles (30,000km), and no one gets excited but one budgie flies 25 miles from home and it’s international news. Go figure.

In other hard-breaking news, the police are still acting like pigs. Except that pigs are nice animals that we shouldn’t eat, whereas I’d have no trouble making cat food out of a few of these cops, except that I would treat my cats to better grub:

The “pop” being the sound of her arm breaking when the cop threw her against the patrol car.

In June of 2020, inLoveland, Colorado, 73-year old Karen Garner, who has dementia sensory aphasia, which impairs her ability to understand and communicate, was confronted by a Walmart employee for trying to walk out of the store with $13.88 of merchandise in her bag. She offered to pay for the items, but the employee confiscated her bag and called the cops, even though the store had not suffered any loss — Karen didn’t steal a damn thing.

The police found Karen walking down the road two blocks from her home, picking wild flowers. They pushed her to the ground and handcuffed her. After picking her up and slamming her against the squad car, he officer’s body cam shows Karen appearing to be confused and fearful as she pleads, “I am going home.”

The arrest fractured Karen’s arm, sprained her wrist, and dislocated her shoulder.

The police then took Karen to the police station, where they put her in a cell while they gathered around to watch the body cam video. They were filmed by cameras inside the station, which showed them laughing about the arrest.

“I love it,” one officer says, with a laugh. “This is great.”

Another officer asks the arresting officer if he had read Ms. Garner her Miranda rights. The officer says he had not.

“I can’t believe I threw a 73-year-old on the ground,” the officer says.

“Hear the pop?” one officer says.

“What did you pop?” asks another.

“I think it was her shoulder,” the first officer responds.

Fuck the cops, and Fuck the Walmart employee, too. Lawsuits are pending and I wish the Police Union would be liable for damages instead of taxpayers.

Let’s go now to the shit bags who tried to overthrow the government on January 6, 2021:

The FBI has video of Mark Middleton (the shit stain in the red MAGA hat) grabbing a Capitol officer and pulling him towards the mob. Beside him, wearing a Trump beanie, is his wife, Jalise Middleton, who also grabbed the officer with her hands. Then another officer stepped in, and Jalise Middleton assaulted him, too. 

The Middletons continued to strike officers and jab flagpoles at their faces  until one officer sprayed them with a chemical agent, which forced them to retreat.

It’s on tape. I hope they get years behind bars.

This MAGA asshole, Richard “Bigo” Barnett, is the dip shit who put his feet up on Nancy Pelosi’s desk on January 6, 2021 :

He’s been arrested  in Arkansas for trying to overthrow the government and for leaving a threatening message for Speaker Pelosi:

In a recent court filing, Barnett’s lawyer defends Barnett from the charges that he threatened Speaker Pelosi, saying he didn’t call Speaker Pelosi a “bitch” in the note that he left at her desk. 

The lawyer explains:

“Instead of writing the accusatory “You bitch” as the government falsely states, it only says “biatd” and without the word “you”. On information and belief, the “d” was meant to be two letters, “c” and “h” with the “c” connected to the “h” to spell “biatch”, which is  a slang and less offensive word for “bitch”.”

But wait, that’s not the only stupid thing a MAGA defense lawyer has written this week.

Remember MAGAt Rachel Powell?

Her lawyer made a groveling apology to the Court, citing the Lana Del Rey defense, arguing that Powell was copying the face mask used by pop singer Lana Del Rey, who had a mesh face covering with a clear plastic lining so her fans could see her at a small get-together:

Her apology was accepted by judge Royce Lambert, who let her off the hook but warned that she would have to wear a cloth face mask from now on. Judge Lambert, who presides in Washington DC, is from Texas and is a Republican appointed by Ronald Reagan so I suspect’s a crypto-MAGA sympathizer because Rachel Powell’s ass should be in jail. But wait, there’s good news to come!

The best news of the week is that Trumps’ lawyer, Rudy Giuliani, had his Manhattan home and office raided by the Feds of the Southern District of New York:

We are getting more details on this story today, Friday April 30, that I don’t have time to delve into but I hope by next week we have some hot juicy charges for federal crimes that have mandatory sentences!

This is also breaking this morning, about Florida Representative Matt Gaetz, the guy whose head is firmly up Trump’s ass, and his best buddy, a guy named Joel Greenberg, who seems to have turned on Gaetz and given the feds some incriminating info:

I, for one, am hugely looking forward to the news this coming week.

This past week, on his 100th day in office, President Joe Biden made his first speech to a joint session of Congress, and it was pretty hot stuff:

It does my heart good to see Vice President and President of the Senate Kamal Harris and House Speaker Nancy Pelosi presiding over the joint session of Congress.

And now, for the usual shit:

 

 

 

 

I need this sign:

And this sign:

Remember that I called this week’s post That’s Not My Cat? We’ll end on that note, but first, let’s start with That’s My Cat, But That’s Not My House:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Not My Cat.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

That’s it for today, Dear Ones. 

Have a great weekend, everyone. If you happen to have a bad day or feel a bit blue, just remember that the Feds are thiiiiiiiis slice to getting Giuliani, thiiiiiiis close to getter Gaetz, which means that they are thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis close to getting Trump. Maybe America isn’t totally in the shitter after all.

And if that doesn’t cheer you up, remember that there is always wine, and cats, and wine and cats.

 

 

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It is 8:36 AM on Friday morning as I type this, and I took this picture out of our den’s picture window (sorry for the reflection)  about four minutes ago. That’s Taffy cat, on the left, and his shadow Bibs cat on the right, both of them curled up in the far back corner of our backyard. This is my way of telling you to rest assured, this blog post will start and end with Cats this week, so hang in there.

I don’t know what got into us last night, because it was just an ordinary Thursday, but Top Cat started making martinis around 7 o’clock and one thing led to another and we blasted Imagine Dragons and danced in the kitchen and made a batch of nachos and a late-night bubble bath was involved and this morning I’m feeling a little woozy. Good thing I start prepping this weekly visit of ours on Monday so I have some content already in the can for you and, if I remember to tie things up correctly (sorry about last week’s tardiness…I forgot to hit the Publish button until late in the day), you shouldn’t notice anything is amiss…but hoo-boy…Top Cat’s vanilla martinis go down way too easily.

Let’s start with the biggest story of the week:


I’m sure we all lost that knot in our stomach last Tuesday when the Derek Chauvin’s jury came back with Guilty verdicts for all three counts of murder and manslaughter for the killing of George Floyd last May. The fact that we were all tense before Judge Peter Cahill read the decision shows how little faith we have in our system of justice in America. 

I’m glad it’s over but, it’s not over.

There are still so, so many bad cops out there. I mean really, really bad cops.

A hack on the website that raised $2  million for this piece of shit’s defense  revealed  the  names  of donors and Norfolk  Police  Lt.  William  Kelly,  who  was  second  in  command  in  the  Norfolk  Police  Dept.’s  internal  affairs  division,  was revealed  to  have  written :

“God  bless.  Thank  You  for  your  courage.  Every  rank  and  file  police  officer  supports  you.  Don’t  be  discouraged  by  actions  of  the  political  class  of  law  enforcement  leadership. “

City  manager Chip  Filer, who  fired Kelly,  said: “Kelly’s  egregious  comments  erode  the  trust  between  the  Norfolk  Police  Department  and  those  they  are  sworn  to serve.”

No word yet from Kelly’s union on whether or not they will sue to re-instate him.

And then there’s this shit stain in Los Angeles:

 

 

 

 

 

Here’s some updates on the MAGAts who rioted at the nation’s capital on January 6 this year:

The prosecutor who wants to keep Egtvedt in jail wrote this:

“Defendant was not a protestor swept up in the swagger of a violent mob — he was a violent instigator. He is unmoored, with little to connect him to the community, and little regard for the authority of the federal government. It is clear that the defendant is both a danger to the community and a risk of flight. Considering all of the factors set forth above [in the body of their motion], there is no combination of conditions that will reasonable assure his appearance in the Dstrict of Columbia and/or the safety of the community. The defendant should therefore be detained pending trial.”

This is the level of stupidity we are dealing with when it comes to Trump supporters.

Federal prosecutors told a judge that Dan Egtvedt can’t be trusted to follow conditions of his release from prison, in part because he physically tried to stop his mother from getting vaccinated against COVID-19.

Egtvedt, who is accused of assaulting Capitol Police officers, was arrested on February 13 after officers were called to his brother’s house in Maryland because of an altercation. Egtvedt, according to prosecutors, was incensed about the impending inoculation, in part, because he believed it would alter his mother’s DNA.

By the way, Egtvedt was turned in to the FBI by a “decade-old friend”. Egtvest, who you might have noticed is white, was, in the end, released by Judge Christopher Cooper and invited  to come back to DC on June 3 for trial. We’ll see.

Stupid people lack the mental acuity and self-awareness (or modesty) to understand just how stupid they are, so they think they are smarter than the average federal judge. Here’s the MAGAt known as “Pink Hat Lady” and “Bullhorn Lady”:

 

 

As of today, Friday April 23, there is no word if Judge Beryl Howell was wiped that smirk off Bullhorn Lady’s face and thrown her in jail. But I’ll keep checking for updates and I’ll let you know.

And lastly, on Thursday April 22 (yesterday), karma caught up with this guy:

Let’s all remember that one year ago today, on April 23, 2020, the Head Moron in Charge of MAGAts said this:

 

Let’s check in on one of Trump’s biggest fan in Congress, who is still trying to get headlines by stalking Alexandria Ocassio Cortez:

Marjorie Greene has been criticizing the Green New Deal for months and she hasn’t even read it.

Wait. Are we sure that she actually knows how to read?

For those who don’t know, the Cracker Barrel Country Store is a chain of Southern-themed restaurants out of Tennessee that is popular with rednecks and white trash and is known for its rowdy customers. If you apply for a job at the Cracker Barrel, there’s a question on the application: “Are you good with your fists?”

Short digression: Am I crazy, or is this headline from Newsweek online sound as if it had been written (if she can write) by Mrajorie Taylor Greene herself?

And, I don’t even have to tell you, it’s a lie that AOC has agreed to debate Greene. 

In other Republican news:

Former House Speaker Republican John Boehner has been trying to rehab his reputation by writing a memoir that whitewashes his career in Washington (the capitol) (Lawyers in Love reference):

 

 

 

For sure there’s a Republican pharmacist in Chicago:

 

For fun, let’s check in and see how the right-wing media is covering President Joe Biden’s commitment to make policy based on science and sanity:

They forgot to mention that Joe also wants to outlaw Cracker Barrel restaurants and make it illegal to name your kid “Chad” .

 

Twitter can be a fun place too. Last week, a TV station in Boise, Idaho tweeted a photo of one of its talking heads with a one-line caption:

For some reason, it blew up and people made so many comments on this tweet that mark orson was trending for the first time in his life:

 

 

 

 

 

 

In other “Mark” news . . .

We’re almost done — I have one more block of memes to show before we get down to serious cat business — but here’s an appetizer, a photo tweeted under the caption “I think I have cat issues”:

Also a tweet, from a guy who was trying to get some reading done:

Today, I want to introduce you to a Twitter account called Italians Mad At Food.

People send in photos of Italian food that was not made in Italy, and Italians respond. Since it’s a Twitter account from Europe, and Europe has strict privacy laws, that last names of the Italian responders have been blocked out, but otherwise these are the  uncensored thoughts of Italians who wonder why the rest of the world loves Italian food when what passes as “Italian” in the rest of the world isn’t the least bit “Italian”.

Let’s go:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And, lastly no words, because the photo speaks for itself:

 

You Made It!

You’re Almost Done!

Here Are The Cats!

From a Twitter account called Bodega Cats (“bodega” is a Spanish word for that little shop on the corner ), here is a section of working cats from around the world (but mostly America):

P.S. This (below) explains why most bodegas have cats:

 

This guy looks like he catches honey badgers for a living.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Have a great weekend, everyone. Remember, if you must drink, drink responsibly. Or not. It’s up to you. You’re an adult, you get to make the rules. Stay healthy, get vaccinated FOR REAL, and be nice to cats and other living things.

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I don’t go looking for trouble, I really don’t. I don’t seek opportunities to yell at people, but what can I do, when opportunity strikes?

I was on my daily run when I spotted a white male, on the other side of the street, approaching me. He had with him a small, fluffy white dog on a leash. Then I saw the male pull up on the leash until the dog was walking on its back legs with its head in, effectively, a noose. The little dog staggered like that for a few seconds, and then the the male let the dog down, back onto its four paws. After a few steps the male did it again: he yanked on the leash, the dog was walking tippy-toe on his back legs, and the male seemed to be enjoying himself. The dog looked distressed.

By now I was almost even with the male and I could see that he was young, in his middle/late teens. I pulled out my earbuds and I YELLED. “Hey!” I said. I have a loud voice and some little practice at making a scene.

The kid stopped in his tracks and stared at me. I was furious and the adrenaline kicked in, and I began to scream at him.”YOU DON’T DO THAT TO A DOG! THAT’S ANIMAL ABUSE! YOU GOT THAT? YOU DON’T DO THAT TO A DOG!!”

The kid was still rooted in place, looking dazed, when I put my earbuds back in and went on my way. After a moment I turned around to watch him, and he was slinking away, walking the dog like a normal human being.

I got to the end of the street, where there was a woman in a Cadillac SUV parked at the curb. She waved me over, so I pulled my earbuds out again, and she said that she’d been watching that kid as he passed her car, and he was making the poor dog walk on his hind legs over and over and she really wanted to say something, but she didn’t, and she was glad that I did.

I told her that she should have yelled at the kid, because often the simple hock value of being berated by a stranger is enough to shame people into better behavior. But yeah, we both agreed, that kid was a creep.

He’s also a symptom.

I still use that street on my daily run, and I keep an eye out for that kid and his dog. I’m sorry that I didn’t confiscate the poor pooch. I really wish I’d grabbed that dog and saved him. I hope he’s being treated well. 

Along those lines, here’s the feel-good story of the week

In her “defense”, anti-masker Debra Hunter, who coughed on a Heather Sprague, who was recovering from brain cancer surgery and wearing a face mask, said she felt remorse and guilt from “one very poor decision” that had cost her three children nearly all of their friends and had made her feel like a pariah in her community. She said her children had been greatly affected by the hundreds of text messages, emails, phone calls, social media threats and even hand-delivered letters she had received after the video of her coughing on Ms. Sprague gained widespread attention.

“The reality is that my family has been permanently scarred,” Ms. Hunter told the judge. “And although that scar might fade over time, it will never completely disappear. My kids should not have to pay the price for my mistake.”

But the judge wasn’t having it.

Judge Ruth took issue with Ms. Hunter’s testimony, saying she had expressed more concern for her family than for Ms. Sprague.

“She talked about how it changed her world and, you know, she’s getting the nastygrams on Facebook and things of that nature, and they can’t go to the country club or wherever, and can’t play soccer,” he said. “I get that. But I’ve yet to see any expression — or a significant expression — on her regret about the impact it had on the victim in this case.”

The judge gave Hunter 30 days in jail, followed by six months probation. She also has to take a parenting skills class and attend anger management classes and pay a $500 fine, and the has to re-imburse Ms. Sprague for the cost of the Covid test she scrambled to get after being coughed on.

And here’s the kicker: Hunter was in the store on that fateful day trying to return an item that she didn’t have in her possession. Hunter became irate when the staff at the store wouldn’t give her credit for the invisible item, and was berating them when Sprague said she felt she had to get her phone to video her in case anything physical happened. That’s when Hunter threatened her, and coughed on her. 

“It was an episode that was rooted in privilege and entitlement,” Sprague, the victim, said. “Seeing my mask, the defendant was calculated to attack me at my weakest point both physically and psychologically. I was stunned and fearful in the aftermath.”

In my opinion, I think Hunter should have gotten an additional 60 days for being such an asshole to the Pier 1 staff., but I wasn’t consulted in this case. However, I’ll settle for the public humiliation. I mean, this story went international — UK newspapers covered it. A lot of people really hate Debra Hunter, so, Karma: Job Well Done. And the next time I see someone abusing an animal, I will remember to get my phone out and start recording before I become the crazy lady who yells at kids.

The moral is: Don’t be a Dick. People will have video of you.

Speaking of video…let’s start our weekly news round-up with Derek chain, on trial for killing George Floyd.

 

 

 

 

 

And then, 7 miles down the road from the Chauvin trial, this happened: 

 

 

 

 

There was unrest in the streets of Brooklyn Center, and the governor fueled the bitterness by calling in the National Guard.

 

 

 

And for no reason at all, a uniformed Army medic who happened to be black while driving, was pulled over and assaulted (and his dog, in the car, was also pepper sprayed).

 

Greg Kelly, the moron who theorized that the uniformed Army medic was a bad apple, is the son of the former police commissioner of NYC. This Kelly used to be a host on one of the local morning news programs on TV, and seemed to be a likable guy, until he went all-Trump and now he works for the racists at NewsMax. Here’s Kelly:

 

Kelly and his  fellow MAGAts gather together on-line at Parler, where they swap conspiracy theories:

 

 

 

The Republican CongressMAGAt from Georgia who was stripped of all her committee assignments because of her nut-case support for QAnon theories that led to the insurrection at the capitol on January 6 (meaning that she has no “work” to do during the 40 hours a week, or so, that she is on her “job”) is seeking to stay relevant by coat-tailing on the popularity of Congresswoman Alexandria Ocassio Cortez (AOC), the popular progressive climate-change activist from New York:

AOC has not responded to her invitation, so Marjorie Taylor Greene sweetened her offer:

Classy. the Pay Per View thing is very classy. 

AOC is right to ignore the bait. As Mark Twain said, “Don’t wrestle with a pig. You’ll both get dirty, and the pig likes it.”

 

 

I don’t have breaking news that Matt Gaetz, the Republican CongressMAGAt from the panhandle of Florida, has been arrested for raping underage girls for pay, but here’s an excerpt from his latest book in which he brags about his access to the top MAGAt and traitor, Donald Trump:

 

When can we get rid of the Senate?

 

When can we get rid of Republicans?

 

 

 

I fact checked this. This is real. This is the photo John Bennett used when he ran for the Oklahoma State House, bragging that he was the only candidate endorsed by the NRA (National Rifle Association). WTF, right?

 

OK. That’s it. That’s all the news I can take. Now, since I started today’s blog with a story about a dog, let’s cleanse our souls and get in the mood for a funFriday with, you guessed it…DOGS:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In New York City, every corner store has a shop cat. Here’s a photo of a shop cat on the job: 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Have a great weekend, everyone. Be kind to dogs, be kind to others who are kind to dogs, and mostly be kind to yourself. 

See you next Friday.

XXOO

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So Easter Sunday came and went and I did not rush to Walgreen’s on Monday to buy all the left-over half-price chocolate bunnies so, Yay Me and my healthy lifestyle. Also, I still have a ton of candy in my freezer from my Day After Valentine’s Day shopping spree. 

I don’t observe Easter because I’m an atheist (not to brag) but I see that the religious are still at it:

The idol of the far right religious fuckwads, Der FuhrerFuckFace, wanted to wish his moron followers a Happy Easter but it came with an insane pre-amble:

 

This week the New York Times broke the story that Donald Trump’s  “Stop the Steal” campaign to overturn the election results last year, based on the big lie that Joe Biden’s victory was the result of wide-spread voter fraud, raised its money by de-frauding donors. Anyone who made a one-time gift of money to the campaign was auto-magically enrolled as a perpetual donor:

In my opinion, anyone who is dumb enough to give money to Trump deserves to suffer, I don’t care how broke and sick and crazy they are. However, more than a few of Donald’s donors got wind of the scheme and filed for refunds from their credit card companies:

 

The National Republican Congressional Committee (NRCC) uses a slightly different tactic to squeeze money from its idiot base:

In case you’re wondering, yeah, Republicans really are that stupid to fall for it:

This made me want to give Donald a call at his office at Mar-A-Lago to tell him that he’s still the biggest horse turd on the planet so I dialed 561 832 2600 but I’m still blocked from my first attempt to speak to “the piece of shit who incited the insurrection of January 6.” 

In the good news portion of todays blog, I have to tell you that not everyone spent Easter Sunday being a prick.  On April 4 a person on Twitter, @tayloralrick, was walking across the Longfellow Bridge in Boston and wrote: omg went for a walk and saw this man taking a picture of all his dogs and i almost cried.

Here’s the scene:

 

 

At this stage of the pandemic, who among us hasn’t experienced a sudden burst of emotion at some beautifully mundane moment that reminded you of the world before

Here would be a great place for me to drop such a story, of an encounter with normality that left me in tears for what we’ve all lost during this Covid Time, but I can’t think of one just now. I wish my life had more of a narrative arc but it’s still pretty random and desultory, which is why I’m not writing any more memoirs lately. 

However, I did get smacked with nostalgia for 1980 in the grocery store last week. I was in the rice aisle of my local ethnic food emporium, looking for that jasmine rice from Thailand that Top Cat likes so much, when I realized that my mind was suddenly flooded with images of riding in a mint-green Jaguar on a road trip to Montreal with an old boyfriend who I hadn’t thought of in ages.

It was because of the song playing on the muzak track, Christopher Cross’s Ride Like the Wind.

For those of you who don’t remember, Ride Like the Wind was the first single from Christopher Cross’s Grammy-winning self-titled debut album. It was released in February 1980 and  reached number 2 on the US charts for four consecutive weeks. That song was all over the radio that whole Spring.

In early June of 1980 I was 24 and I left America to spend two years in the Peace Corps in West Africa, so I gave that boyfriend, who was English and about 20 years older than I, Christopher Cross’s album as my going-away gift. I wonder if he’s still alive. The boyfriend, not Christopher Cross. Christopher Cross is still alive, at age 69, hanging out with Ringo Starr and his All Starr Band. He won 5 Grammies for that debut album, good for him. I didn’t have a TV in Africa so I had no way of knowing.

What a jumble it is, life in your 20s.

I’m cautious to identify as a Boomer because I know how much we are hated, for good reason, by Gen X, Millennials, and Gen Z. Because of how much we have fucked up,  the kids who came after us haven’t had as much room for missteps and false starts, like we Boomers did. There isn’t as much room for second or third chances, like we (me) had. I had plenty of time to grow up in the 1980s and 1990s, when all my mistakes were kept private and off-line, and jobs were relatively easy to come by, and life was squalid and we didn’t mind.

That was my train of thought, there in the rice aisle in the Mexican supermarket on Post Road on the north shore of Long Island last week.

I’m not usually a big fan of nostalgia but I went home and made a Ride Like the Wind playlist for my daily 5-mile run. I haven’t listened to it yet. I’m not 100% sure that I want to go back down that rabbit hole, only to resurface with the knowledge that what’s in front of me is a whole lot more finite than what is left behind.

Speaking of looking back, I wonder if the MAGA rioters will one day look back at January 6, 2021 and realize that that’s the day they fucked up their lives? Boy, I sure hope so.

Well, this one won’t look back to anything being as she’s dead and all, but maybe all the other 300+ arrestees might have a good long time in prison to ponder the life choices.

 

This blonde one is from Texas so, what do you expect? (Answer: 10 to 20.)

 

 

 

 

 

Oh no! I left Easter Sunday ramblings behind, and I forgot all about Mike Huckabee’s amusing tweet of the day:

 

 

 

Republican Congressman Matt Goetz, from the Florida panhandle, is still in deep trouble over his sleazy sex life:

 

 

 

 

In other Republican Pervert news:

 

 

While former Speaker of the House John Boehner craps on the MAGA-wing of his party, remember that he was one of the people who created the modern Republican party starting in the 1990s:

 

This was part of Boehner’s agenda back then:

 

 

 

 

That’s all the news that I have the patience for this week. 

One last tidbit before we get to the cats. Christopher Cross wrote Ride Like the Wind while he was high on acid. I miss those days, too.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Have a great weekend, everyone. If you need something to celebrate, remember that we have made it through the Australian Summer with the quietest fire season in a decade! Although the flooding situation was the worst in 50 years due to La Nina bringing in lots of cool and wet weather, the good news is that a billion animal lives were saved in 2021 and if that doesn’t make you happy, well, here’s a picture of a wombat in a wheelbarrow:

 

Happy now?

XXOO and see you next week.

 

 

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