I have slept soundly for the past three days which is unusual, because I normally spend 2 – 3 hours in the middle of every night wide awake, doom scrolling Twitter (because Trump is still president) or binge-watching K Pop music videos in an attempt to postpone the inevitable entropy that will be the death of every living and non-living morsel in the universe including, most tragically, Yours Truly.
But lo, these past three nights I have slept the sleep of redwood trees and blue whales, west winds and rainbows. It’s been a good week here in the U S of A.
Since last November, when this cartoon was originally published, things have gotten a lot less metaphorical:
Turns out that tucking dangerous weapons into his pants was Kevin’s “thing”. This story is totally true (I fact checked it):
What this little article doesn’t mention is that when Kevin’s taser shot him in the balls, Kevin wee’d himself, and he died in a pool of his own urine. (Getting to write this last sentence has been one of the greatest joys of my life.)
Knowing that this is how history will remember Kevin Greeson of Alabama . . .
. . . is something that we should all treasure.
Rumor has it that Ivanka Trump is thinking that she still has a shot at a political career of her own, and hadsans to run for higher office (she wants to be the first female president) but you have to wonder if her “brand” can survive these headlines:
Twitter didn’t take kindly to the Potty Princess story:
Javanka have denied these allegations of being snots to the Secret Service but as of today, Friday January 15, this story still had legs. Photographers have staked out the Javanka mansion and taken photos of Secret Service men and women trotting to and from the basement apartment. I can’t pull images for you because of a minor but annoying computer problem this morning but it’s true: Jared and Ivanka, who have 7 toilets in their house, won’t let the people, whose job it is to take a bullet for them if necessary, use any of them.
Correct me if I’m wrong, but when Hillary lost the 2016 election, her supporters didn’t threaten all 50 state capitols with violence, and all 50 governors weren’t put on alert for another MAGA insurrection, and the Capitol buildings weren’t fenced off and inundated with armed National Guardsmen to protect it from Democrats with hurt feelings, right?
It’s hard to believe that this is what is needed at the Capitol for Je Biden’s inauguration:
After these photos were published on-line, the National Guard had to release a plea to stop people from deluging them with donations of blankets and pillows and food at the Capitol.
I hope they stay bored, for all our sakes.
Post-Insurrection, in a classic case of “closing the barn door after the cows have escaped”, metal detectors were installed at the entrance to the House of Representative and the Senate. Here’s how that’s going:
Two days after his supporters rioted and killed a police officer due to his inciting unrest with his inflammatory speech, Trump STILL couldn’t shut up. Here’s the tweet that got him kicked off of Twitter for violating Twitter’s No Inciting Violence rule:
You could say it was the tweet that broke the Twitter’s back:
The rest of Twitter celebrated:
Trump is also blacklisted on Facebook, Google, Snapchat, Instagram, Reddit, Twitch, Tik Tok, Pinterest, Shopify (he can’t sell his MAGA shit there any more), and Spotify. Spotify?
The air and sound waves are pure Trump-free zones, and I, for one, am very happy. But some people are miffed:
The final story of the day is about Josh Hawley, the junior Republican senator from Missouri who, before the insurrection, had plans of being the next Trumpian president, but then he did this:
I am forever grateful that there was a photographer who just happened to catch Hawely in the act of being a dickhead. That photographer is Francis Chung, from E & E News. This photo will haunt Hawley for the rest of his life, and I couldn’t be happier.
Here’s Francis Chung’s story:
The crowd was building on the east side of the U. S. Capitol shortly after 12:30 Wednesday afternoon, but Francis Chung didn’t see much that was visually interesting.
Nor did Chung, a photojournalist for E&E News, a D.C.-based group of publications that cover energy and environmental issues, have any inkling that he was about to capture one of the iconic images from the day the Capitol was breeched by rioters.
The group of about 300 was fairly calm, but their energy flared when a motorcade pulled up. Missouri Sen. Josh Hawley appeared from behind the cars, headed for a scheduled joint session in the House of Representatives.
The freshman Republican gave a thumbs up, a fist pump, and waved as the crowd cheered. Chung rushed to shoot, knowing that Hawley was a key player in Republican plans to challenge the Electoral College results. Chung took his shot, and went inside a congressional office building to transmit his images to E&E News.
An hour later, when Chung came back to the east side of the Capitol where Hawley had appeared, the barriers around the perimeter of the building had been pulled down and police were no longer trying to stop people from entering the Capitol grounds.
Within that hour, the context of Hawley’s fist bump changed dramatically.
And ever since, things haven’t been looking so good for Josh Hawley.
They even painted a road sign in front of the old court house in St. Louis:
May all the Republicans who love Trump get what they deserve.
I’m not philosophically against marrying for money, but it makes me happy that when Melanoma divorces Trump he will be so broke that she’ll probably end up owing him alimony.
This is her message:
That’s it for this week, Dear Readers. I can’t say for sure how scarred, or not, our cities will be after Joe Biden’s inauguration, but it will be A NEW DAY and worth celebrating and LIFE WILL BE GOOD.
Have a great weekend, Dear Ones.