April 2021

That’s not my cat but then again, that’s not my mat, either. Our next-door neighbors, the ones who put a cat-sized hole  in their fence so our cats could move freely between properties, sent me this photo. That’s their back patio, and that’s Odie, who lives across the street. Odie visits us both. He flirts with the neighbor’s cats and he comes to our backyard to rile up Taffy with his “Quien Es Mas Macho” attitude. As you can see, he’s really handsome and you can’t help but like him, but he’s also a bit of a jerk.

This (below) is a photo of my dining room table when I am doing my Korean language homework. I will be finishing my 60th Korean class next Friday, giving me a grand total of 60 weeks/90 hours of instruction, equivalent to four college semesters. I have never, ever had to think this hard about anything, ever, in my life.

I am so proud of myself. This is what I wrote (using Korean’s 14 consonants and 22 vowels) for homework for Lesson #59  this week:

잔 녁 에 제 가 읽 은 책이 오 늘 친 구 가 저 한 테 준 책 보 다 재 미 있 었 어 요.

I’m going to explain why Korean is rated as the most difficult foreign language to learn. If you’re not into philology, you can skip to the memes about the English language (slightly below) and we’ll meet you there in a sec.

This sentence (above), is the most sophisticated sentence I’ve ever written in Korean. It means, “The book that I read last year is more interesting than the book that my friend gave me today.”

I’m color-coding the parts of speech so I can explain how they work in Korean.

“The book that I read last year” and “The book that my friend gave me today” are both relative clauses, which in Korean are written before the noun, so that it’s more like: “Last year read book” and “friend to me given book“.

The main verb — the only “real” verb —  in this sentence is notis“, it is “interesting” (which in the English version of this sentence is an adjective) because in Korean, there is a verb that means To Be Interesting. As the only verb in the sentence, “interesting” is the only verb that is conjugated, and like all Korean verbs, it goes at the end of the sentence. So the whole sentence goes something like this:

Last year read book compared to  friend to me given book is more interesting.

The  compared to in this sentence is not actually written, it’s only indicated by a little particle that signals “comparison” that has no equivalent in English. But, because of the particle that has no English equivalent, the reader of this sentence knows which book is more interesting (the one I read last year).

But that’s not all.

You’ll notice that each of these relative clauses contains a verb: to read, and to give. In Korean, these verbs are indeed conjugated, but not like regular verbs because only one verb per sentence can be conjugated like a regular verb. Verbs in relative clauses have special conjugations that are only for relative clause verbs, unrelated to the regular verb conjugations, and they have different forms for present, past, and future that make them behave a lot like adjectives (which are also conjugated in Korean, but differently). 

Fun Fact: In Korean, every verb has a regular form and an honorific form, and some have two honorific forms depending on whether the action is going to a person higher than you, or to a person lower than you, because of Confucianism. Since this sentence is about a friend, who is my equal, I am using the non-honorific forms of the verbs.

Each of these relative clauses also has a subject: in the first clause it’s “book“, and in the second clause it’s “friend“. In Korean, you have to put a subject particle after each subject noun to let the reader know what’s what, such as, in the case of the second clause, “The book that my friend gave me today”, the subject is “friend” and not “book” (which is the object).

 More Fun: The subject particle changes depending on whether the last letter in the subject noun is a vowel or a consonant and, in this sentence, one of the subject nouns ends in a vowel and the other subject noun ends in a consonant, so I have to use two different subject particles.

Also, Subject particles are different from topic particles and while a sentence can have both a subject and a topic which require particles, this sentence does not. So, whew.

One more thing: there is a time particle that has to go after “Last year”. 

P.S. There are also object particles, which are used when it is necessary to clarify which noun in a sentence is the subject and which one is the object, but in this sentence there is no such confusion because of the comparison particle, and by the way there is another set of comparison particles different from the one I’m using in this sentence for when comparisons are not explicit, but only implied. 

So, in conclusion:

잔 녁 에 제 가 읽 은 책이 오 늘 친 구 가 저 한 테 준 책 보 다 재 미 있 었 어 요.

Last year (time particle) read  (relative clause verb conjugation) book (subject particle)  friend (different subject particle) to me given (relative clause verb conjugation) book (comparison particle) is more interesting (regular verb conjugation).

P.S. For some reason, WordPress is screwing up my color-code in the published version. Sorry about that.

Any way, that’s why it takes 90 hours of Korean lessons to learn how to write this sentence.

I know what you’re wondering and No, before Korean Lesson #59, I had no idea what a relative clause was. And to answer your other question, Probably Not.

(Would you have started learning Korean if you had known that every fucking thing is conjugated and there were all those fucking particles?)

Is anyone else here acquiring a new skill? How’s it going? Anyone got any tips for teaching an old brain new tricks? Please?

My Korean teacher assures me that her learning English was harder than my learning Korean. (Wait. Did I get that right? Does anyone know other it’s “my” learning Korean or “me” learning Korean?)

 

 

 

 

 

But you don’t come here for Korean lessons. You come here for cold hard news of the week so let’s go!

“Budgie” is Brit-speak for “parakeet”. This little fellow was found on the deck of a UK Fisheries Protection vessel in the Cletic Sea, 25 miles from the Cornish (southwest English) coast by the chief engineer on board. The chief engineer simply put out his hand and the parakeet hopped on. He says the bird was clearly exhausted and seemed relieved to go inside.

“It’s very comfortable around people,” the chief says, and the budgie has been climbing on his shoulder and head. The crew has been feeding the little guy various things, with peanuts being the budgie’s clear favorite.

The crew are going to be on patrol for a while but another Fisheries officer, Madeleine Bradshaw, is scheduled to rendezvous with the ship. That officer will take the budgie back to shore and look after it until the owner is found. Failing that, the bird will have a new home with Bradshaw. 

It is rare for domesticated budgies to fly away  from their homes because the outdoors make them anxious. Because of this, they usually do not know how to get back home because they get overwhelmed with nerves.

Now, the Arctic Tern, a 4-ounce bird slightly larger than the American Robin, migrates every year from the North Pole to the South Pole, a round trip of 18,681 miles (30,000km), and no one gets excited but one budgie flies 25 miles from home and it’s international news. Go figure.

In other hard-breaking news, the police are still acting like pigs. Except that pigs are nice animals that we shouldn’t eat, whereas I’d have no trouble making cat food out of a few of these cops, except that I would treat my cats to better grub:

The “pop” being the sound of her arm breaking when the cop threw her against the patrol car.

In June of 2020, inLoveland, Colorado, 73-year old Karen Garner, who has dementia sensory aphasia, which impairs her ability to understand and communicate, was confronted by a Walmart employee for trying to walk out of the store with $13.88 of merchandise in her bag. She offered to pay for the items, but the employee confiscated her bag and called the cops, even though the store had not suffered any loss — Karen didn’t steal a damn thing.

The police found Karen walking down the road two blocks from her home, picking wild flowers. They pushed her to the ground and handcuffed her. After picking her up and slamming her against the squad car, he officer’s body cam shows Karen appearing to be confused and fearful as she pleads, “I am going home.”

The arrest fractured Karen’s arm, sprained her wrist, and dislocated her shoulder.

The police then took Karen to the police station, where they put her in a cell while they gathered around to watch the body cam video. They were filmed by cameras inside the station, which showed them laughing about the arrest.

“I love it,” one officer says, with a laugh. “This is great.”

Another officer asks the arresting officer if he had read Ms. Garner her Miranda rights. The officer says he had not.

“I can’t believe I threw a 73-year-old on the ground,” the officer says.

“Hear the pop?” one officer says.

“What did you pop?” asks another.

“I think it was her shoulder,” the first officer responds.

Fuck the cops, and Fuck the Walmart employee, too. Lawsuits are pending and I wish the Police Union would be liable for damages instead of taxpayers.

Let’s go now to the shit bags who tried to overthrow the government on January 6, 2021:

The FBI has video of Mark Middleton (the shit stain in the red MAGA hat) grabbing a Capitol officer and pulling him towards the mob. Beside him, wearing a Trump beanie, is his wife, Jalise Middleton, who also grabbed the officer with her hands. Then another officer stepped in, and Jalise Middleton assaulted him, too. 

The Middletons continued to strike officers and jab flagpoles at their faces  until one officer sprayed them with a chemical agent, which forced them to retreat.

It’s on tape. I hope they get years behind bars.

This MAGA asshole, Richard “Bigo” Barnett, is the dip shit who put his feet up on Nancy Pelosi’s desk on January 6, 2021 :

He’s been arrested  in Arkansas for trying to overthrow the government and for leaving a threatening message for Speaker Pelosi:

In a recent court filing, Barnett’s lawyer defends Barnett from the charges that he threatened Speaker Pelosi, saying he didn’t call Speaker Pelosi a “bitch” in the note that he left at her desk. 

The lawyer explains:

“Instead of writing the accusatory “You bitch” as the government falsely states, it only says “biatd” and without the word “you”. On information and belief, the “d” was meant to be two letters, “c” and “h” with the “c” connected to the “h” to spell “biatch”, which is  a slang and less offensive word for “bitch”.”

But wait, that’s not the only stupid thing a MAGA defense lawyer has written this week.

Remember MAGAt Rachel Powell?

Her lawyer made a groveling apology to the Court, citing the Lana Del Rey defense, arguing that Powell was copying the face mask used by pop singer Lana Del Rey, who had a mesh face covering with a clear plastic lining so her fans could see her at a small get-together:

Her apology was accepted by judge Royce Lambert, who let her off the hook but warned that she would have to wear a cloth face mask from now on. Judge Lambert, who presides in Washington DC, is from Texas and is a Republican appointed by Ronald Reagan so I suspect’s a crypto-MAGA sympathizer because Rachel Powell’s ass should be in jail. But wait, there’s good news to come!

The best news of the week is that Trumps’ lawyer, Rudy Giuliani, had his Manhattan home and office raided by the Feds of the Southern District of New York:

We are getting more details on this story today, Friday April 30, that I don’t have time to delve into but I hope by next week we have some hot juicy charges for federal crimes that have mandatory sentences!

This is also breaking this morning, about Florida Representative Matt Gaetz, the guy whose head is firmly up Trump’s ass, and his best buddy, a guy named Joel Greenberg, who seems to have turned on Gaetz and given the feds some incriminating info:

I, for one, am hugely looking forward to the news this coming week.

This past week, on his 100th day in office, President Joe Biden made his first speech to a joint session of Congress, and it was pretty hot stuff:

It does my heart good to see Vice President and President of the Senate Kamal Harris and House Speaker Nancy Pelosi presiding over the joint session of Congress.

And now, for the usual shit:

 

 

 

 

I need this sign:

And this sign:

Remember that I called this week’s post That’s Not My Cat? We’ll end on that note, but first, let’s start with That’s My Cat, But That’s Not My House:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Not My Cat.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

That’s it for today, Dear Ones. 

Have a great weekend, everyone. If you happen to have a bad day or feel a bit blue, just remember that the Feds are thiiiiiiiis slice to getting Giuliani, thiiiiiiis close to getter Gaetz, which means that they are thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis close to getting Trump. Maybe America isn’t totally in the shitter after all.

And if that doesn’t cheer you up, remember that there is always wine, and cats, and wine and cats.

 

 

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It is 8:36 AM on Friday morning as I type this, and I took this picture out of our den’s picture window (sorry for the reflection)  about four minutes ago. That’s Taffy cat, on the left, and his shadow Bibs cat on the right, both of them curled up in the far back corner of our backyard. This is my way of telling you to rest assured, this blog post will start and end with Cats this week, so hang in there.

I don’t know what got into us last night, because it was just an ordinary Thursday, but Top Cat started making martinis around 7 o’clock and one thing led to another and we blasted Imagine Dragons and danced in the kitchen and made a batch of nachos and a late-night bubble bath was involved and this morning I’m feeling a little woozy. Good thing I start prepping this weekly visit of ours on Monday so I have some content already in the can for you and, if I remember to tie things up correctly (sorry about last week’s tardiness…I forgot to hit the Publish button until late in the day), you shouldn’t notice anything is amiss…but hoo-boy…Top Cat’s vanilla martinis go down way too easily.

Let’s start with the biggest story of the week:


I’m sure we all lost that knot in our stomach last Tuesday when the Derek Chauvin’s jury came back with Guilty verdicts for all three counts of murder and manslaughter for the killing of George Floyd last May. The fact that we were all tense before Judge Peter Cahill read the decision shows how little faith we have in our system of justice in America. 

I’m glad it’s over but, it’s not over.

There are still so, so many bad cops out there. I mean really, really bad cops.

A hack on the website that raised $2  million for this piece of shit’s defense  revealed  the  names  of donors and Norfolk  Police  Lt.  William  Kelly,  who  was  second  in  command  in  the  Norfolk  Police  Dept.’s  internal  affairs  division,  was revealed  to  have  written :

“God  bless.  Thank  You  for  your  courage.  Every  rank  and  file  police  officer  supports  you.  Don’t  be  discouraged  by  actions  of  the  political  class  of  law  enforcement  leadership. “

City  manager Chip  Filer, who  fired Kelly,  said: “Kelly’s  egregious  comments  erode  the  trust  between  the  Norfolk  Police  Department  and  those  they  are  sworn  to serve.”

No word yet from Kelly’s union on whether or not they will sue to re-instate him.

And then there’s this shit stain in Los Angeles:

 

 

 

 

 

Here’s some updates on the MAGAts who rioted at the nation’s capital on January 6 this year:

The prosecutor who wants to keep Egtvedt in jail wrote this:

“Defendant was not a protestor swept up in the swagger of a violent mob — he was a violent instigator. He is unmoored, with little to connect him to the community, and little regard for the authority of the federal government. It is clear that the defendant is both a danger to the community and a risk of flight. Considering all of the factors set forth above [in the body of their motion], there is no combination of conditions that will reasonable assure his appearance in the Dstrict of Columbia and/or the safety of the community. The defendant should therefore be detained pending trial.”

This is the level of stupidity we are dealing with when it comes to Trump supporters.

Federal prosecutors told a judge that Dan Egtvedt can’t be trusted to follow conditions of his release from prison, in part because he physically tried to stop his mother from getting vaccinated against COVID-19.

Egtvedt, who is accused of assaulting Capitol Police officers, was arrested on February 13 after officers were called to his brother’s house in Maryland because of an altercation. Egtvedt, according to prosecutors, was incensed about the impending inoculation, in part, because he believed it would alter his mother’s DNA.

By the way, Egtvedt was turned in to the FBI by a “decade-old friend”. Egtvest, who you might have noticed is white, was, in the end, released by Judge Christopher Cooper and invited  to come back to DC on June 3 for trial. We’ll see.

Stupid people lack the mental acuity and self-awareness (or modesty) to understand just how stupid they are, so they think they are smarter than the average federal judge. Here’s the MAGAt known as “Pink Hat Lady” and “Bullhorn Lady”:

 

 

As of today, Friday April 23, there is no word if Judge Beryl Howell was wiped that smirk off Bullhorn Lady’s face and thrown her in jail. But I’ll keep checking for updates and I’ll let you know.

And lastly, on Thursday April 22 (yesterday), karma caught up with this guy:

Let’s all remember that one year ago today, on April 23, 2020, the Head Moron in Charge of MAGAts said this:

 

Let’s check in on one of Trump’s biggest fan in Congress, who is still trying to get headlines by stalking Alexandria Ocassio Cortez:

Marjorie Greene has been criticizing the Green New Deal for months and she hasn’t even read it.

Wait. Are we sure that she actually knows how to read?

For those who don’t know, the Cracker Barrel Country Store is a chain of Southern-themed restaurants out of Tennessee that is popular with rednecks and white trash and is known for its rowdy customers. If you apply for a job at the Cracker Barrel, there’s a question on the application: “Are you good with your fists?”

Short digression: Am I crazy, or is this headline from Newsweek online sound as if it had been written (if she can write) by Mrajorie Taylor Greene herself?

And, I don’t even have to tell you, it’s a lie that AOC has agreed to debate Greene. 

In other Republican news:

Former House Speaker Republican John Boehner has been trying to rehab his reputation by writing a memoir that whitewashes his career in Washington (the capitol) (Lawyers in Love reference):

 

 

 

For sure there’s a Republican pharmacist in Chicago:

 

For fun, let’s check in and see how the right-wing media is covering President Joe Biden’s commitment to make policy based on science and sanity:

They forgot to mention that Joe also wants to outlaw Cracker Barrel restaurants and make it illegal to name your kid “Chad” .

 

Twitter can be a fun place too. Last week, a TV station in Boise, Idaho tweeted a photo of one of its talking heads with a one-line caption:

For some reason, it blew up and people made so many comments on this tweet that mark orson was trending for the first time in his life:

 

 

 

 

 

 

In other “Mark” news . . .

We’re almost done — I have one more block of memes to show before we get down to serious cat business — but here’s an appetizer, a photo tweeted under the caption “I think I have cat issues”:

Also a tweet, from a guy who was trying to get some reading done:

Today, I want to introduce you to a Twitter account called Italians Mad At Food.

People send in photos of Italian food that was not made in Italy, and Italians respond. Since it’s a Twitter account from Europe, and Europe has strict privacy laws, that last names of the Italian responders have been blocked out, but otherwise these are the  uncensored thoughts of Italians who wonder why the rest of the world loves Italian food when what passes as “Italian” in the rest of the world isn’t the least bit “Italian”.

Let’s go:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And, lastly no words, because the photo speaks for itself:

 

You Made It!

You’re Almost Done!

Here Are The Cats!

From a Twitter account called Bodega Cats (“bodega” is a Spanish word for that little shop on the corner ), here is a section of working cats from around the world (but mostly America):

P.S. This (below) explains why most bodegas have cats:

 

This guy looks like he catches honey badgers for a living.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Have a great weekend, everyone. Remember, if you must drink, drink responsibly. Or not. It’s up to you. You’re an adult, you get to make the rules. Stay healthy, get vaccinated FOR REAL, and be nice to cats and other living things.

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I don’t go looking for trouble, I really don’t. I don’t seek opportunities to yell at people, but what can I do, when opportunity strikes?

I was on my daily run when I spotted a white male, on the other side of the street, approaching me. He had with him a small, fluffy white dog on a leash. Then I saw the male pull up on the leash until the dog was walking on its back legs with its head in, effectively, a noose. The little dog staggered like that for a few seconds, and then the the male let the dog down, back onto its four paws. After a few steps the male did it again: he yanked on the leash, the dog was walking tippy-toe on his back legs, and the male seemed to be enjoying himself. The dog looked distressed.

By now I was almost even with the male and I could see that he was young, in his middle/late teens. I pulled out my earbuds and I YELLED. “Hey!” I said. I have a loud voice and some little practice at making a scene.

The kid stopped in his tracks and stared at me. I was furious and the adrenaline kicked in, and I began to scream at him.”YOU DON’T DO THAT TO A DOG! THAT’S ANIMAL ABUSE! YOU GOT THAT? YOU DON’T DO THAT TO A DOG!!”

The kid was still rooted in place, looking dazed, when I put my earbuds back in and went on my way. After a moment I turned around to watch him, and he was slinking away, walking the dog like a normal human being.

I got to the end of the street, where there was a woman in a Cadillac SUV parked at the curb. She waved me over, so I pulled my earbuds out again, and she said that she’d been watching that kid as he passed her car, and he was making the poor dog walk on his hind legs over and over and she really wanted to say something, but she didn’t, and she was glad that I did.

I told her that she should have yelled at the kid, because often the simple hock value of being berated by a stranger is enough to shame people into better behavior. But yeah, we both agreed, that kid was a creep.

He’s also a symptom.

I still use that street on my daily run, and I keep an eye out for that kid and his dog. I’m sorry that I didn’t confiscate the poor pooch. I really wish I’d grabbed that dog and saved him. I hope he’s being treated well. 

Along those lines, here’s the feel-good story of the week

In her “defense”, anti-masker Debra Hunter, who coughed on a Heather Sprague, who was recovering from brain cancer surgery and wearing a face mask, said she felt remorse and guilt from “one very poor decision” that had cost her three children nearly all of their friends and had made her feel like a pariah in her community. She said her children had been greatly affected by the hundreds of text messages, emails, phone calls, social media threats and even hand-delivered letters she had received after the video of her coughing on Ms. Sprague gained widespread attention.

“The reality is that my family has been permanently scarred,” Ms. Hunter told the judge. “And although that scar might fade over time, it will never completely disappear. My kids should not have to pay the price for my mistake.”

But the judge wasn’t having it.

Judge Ruth took issue with Ms. Hunter’s testimony, saying she had expressed more concern for her family than for Ms. Sprague.

“She talked about how it changed her world and, you know, she’s getting the nastygrams on Facebook and things of that nature, and they can’t go to the country club or wherever, and can’t play soccer,” he said. “I get that. But I’ve yet to see any expression — or a significant expression — on her regret about the impact it had on the victim in this case.”

The judge gave Hunter 30 days in jail, followed by six months probation. She also has to take a parenting skills class and attend anger management classes and pay a $500 fine, and the has to re-imburse Ms. Sprague for the cost of the Covid test she scrambled to get after being coughed on.

And here’s the kicker: Hunter was in the store on that fateful day trying to return an item that she didn’t have in her possession. Hunter became irate when the staff at the store wouldn’t give her credit for the invisible item, and was berating them when Sprague said she felt she had to get her phone to video her in case anything physical happened. That’s when Hunter threatened her, and coughed on her. 

“It was an episode that was rooted in privilege and entitlement,” Sprague, the victim, said. “Seeing my mask, the defendant was calculated to attack me at my weakest point both physically and psychologically. I was stunned and fearful in the aftermath.”

In my opinion, I think Hunter should have gotten an additional 60 days for being such an asshole to the Pier 1 staff., but I wasn’t consulted in this case. However, I’ll settle for the public humiliation. I mean, this story went international — UK newspapers covered it. A lot of people really hate Debra Hunter, so, Karma: Job Well Done. And the next time I see someone abusing an animal, I will remember to get my phone out and start recording before I become the crazy lady who yells at kids.

The moral is: Don’t be a Dick. People will have video of you.

Speaking of video…let’s start our weekly news round-up with Derek chain, on trial for killing George Floyd.

 

 

 

 

 

And then, 7 miles down the road from the Chauvin trial, this happened: 

 

 

 

 

There was unrest in the streets of Brooklyn Center, and the governor fueled the bitterness by calling in the National Guard.

 

 

 

And for no reason at all, a uniformed Army medic who happened to be black while driving, was pulled over and assaulted (and his dog, in the car, was also pepper sprayed).

 

Greg Kelly, the moron who theorized that the uniformed Army medic was a bad apple, is the son of the former police commissioner of NYC. This Kelly used to be a host on one of the local morning news programs on TV, and seemed to be a likable guy, until he went all-Trump and now he works for the racists at NewsMax. Here’s Kelly:

 

Kelly and his  fellow MAGAts gather together on-line at Parler, where they swap conspiracy theories:

 

 

 

The Republican CongressMAGAt from Georgia who was stripped of all her committee assignments because of her nut-case support for QAnon theories that led to the insurrection at the capitol on January 6 (meaning that she has no “work” to do during the 40 hours a week, or so, that she is on her “job”) is seeking to stay relevant by coat-tailing on the popularity of Congresswoman Alexandria Ocassio Cortez (AOC), the popular progressive climate-change activist from New York:

AOC has not responded to her invitation, so Marjorie Taylor Greene sweetened her offer:

Classy. the Pay Per View thing is very classy. 

AOC is right to ignore the bait. As Mark Twain said, “Don’t wrestle with a pig. You’ll both get dirty, and the pig likes it.”

 

 

I don’t have breaking news that Matt Gaetz, the Republican CongressMAGAt from the panhandle of Florida, has been arrested for raping underage girls for pay, but here’s an excerpt from his latest book in which he brags about his access to the top MAGAt and traitor, Donald Trump:

 

When can we get rid of the Senate?

 

When can we get rid of Republicans?

 

 

 

I fact checked this. This is real. This is the photo John Bennett used when he ran for the Oklahoma State House, bragging that he was the only candidate endorsed by the NRA (National Rifle Association). WTF, right?

 

OK. That’s it. That’s all the news I can take. Now, since I started today’s blog with a story about a dog, let’s cleanse our souls and get in the mood for a funFriday with, you guessed it…DOGS:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In New York City, every corner store has a shop cat. Here’s a photo of a shop cat on the job: 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Have a great weekend, everyone. Be kind to dogs, be kind to others who are kind to dogs, and mostly be kind to yourself. 

See you next Friday.

XXOO

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So Easter Sunday came and went and I did not rush to Walgreen’s on Monday to buy all the left-over half-price chocolate bunnies so, Yay Me and my healthy lifestyle. Also, I still have a ton of candy in my freezer from my Day After Valentine’s Day shopping spree. 

I don’t observe Easter because I’m an atheist (not to brag) but I see that the religious are still at it:

The idol of the far right religious fuckwads, Der FuhrerFuckFace, wanted to wish his moron followers a Happy Easter but it came with an insane pre-amble:

 

This week the New York Times broke the story that Donald Trump’s  “Stop the Steal” campaign to overturn the election results last year, based on the big lie that Joe Biden’s victory was the result of wide-spread voter fraud, raised its money by de-frauding donors. Anyone who made a one-time gift of money to the campaign was auto-magically enrolled as a perpetual donor:

In my opinion, anyone who is dumb enough to give money to Trump deserves to suffer, I don’t care how broke and sick and crazy they are. However, more than a few of Donald’s donors got wind of the scheme and filed for refunds from their credit card companies:

 

The National Republican Congressional Committee (NRCC) uses a slightly different tactic to squeeze money from its idiot base:

In case you’re wondering, yeah, Republicans really are that stupid to fall for it:

This made me want to give Donald a call at his office at Mar-A-Lago to tell him that he’s still the biggest horse turd on the planet so I dialed 561 832 2600 but I’m still blocked from my first attempt to speak to “the piece of shit who incited the insurrection of January 6.” 

In the good news portion of todays blog, I have to tell you that not everyone spent Easter Sunday being a prick.  On April 4 a person on Twitter, @tayloralrick, was walking across the Longfellow Bridge in Boston and wrote: omg went for a walk and saw this man taking a picture of all his dogs and i almost cried.

Here’s the scene:

 

 

At this stage of the pandemic, who among us hasn’t experienced a sudden burst of emotion at some beautifully mundane moment that reminded you of the world before

Here would be a great place for me to drop such a story, of an encounter with normality that left me in tears for what we’ve all lost during this Covid Time, but I can’t think of one just now. I wish my life had more of a narrative arc but it’s still pretty random and desultory, which is why I’m not writing any more memoirs lately. 

However, I did get smacked with nostalgia for 1980 in the grocery store last week. I was in the rice aisle of my local ethnic food emporium, looking for that jasmine rice from Thailand that Top Cat likes so much, when I realized that my mind was suddenly flooded with images of riding in a mint-green Jaguar on a road trip to Montreal with an old boyfriend who I hadn’t thought of in ages.

It was because of the song playing on the muzak track, Christopher Cross’s Ride Like the Wind.

For those of you who don’t remember, Ride Like the Wind was the first single from Christopher Cross’s Grammy-winning self-titled debut album. It was released in February 1980 and  reached number 2 on the US charts for four consecutive weeks. That song was all over the radio that whole Spring.

In early June of 1980 I was 24 and I left America to spend two years in the Peace Corps in West Africa, so I gave that boyfriend, who was English and about 20 years older than I, Christopher Cross’s album as my going-away gift. I wonder if he’s still alive. The boyfriend, not Christopher Cross. Christopher Cross is still alive, at age 69, hanging out with Ringo Starr and his All Starr Band. He won 5 Grammies for that debut album, good for him. I didn’t have a TV in Africa so I had no way of knowing.

What a jumble it is, life in your 20s.

I’m cautious to identify as a Boomer because I know how much we are hated, for good reason, by Gen X, Millennials, and Gen Z. Because of how much we have fucked up,  the kids who came after us haven’t had as much room for missteps and false starts, like we Boomers did. There isn’t as much room for second or third chances, like we (me) had. I had plenty of time to grow up in the 1980s and 1990s, when all my mistakes were kept private and off-line, and jobs were relatively easy to come by, and life was squalid and we didn’t mind.

That was my train of thought, there in the rice aisle in the Mexican supermarket on Post Road on the north shore of Long Island last week.

I’m not usually a big fan of nostalgia but I went home and made a Ride Like the Wind playlist for my daily 5-mile run. I haven’t listened to it yet. I’m not 100% sure that I want to go back down that rabbit hole, only to resurface with the knowledge that what’s in front of me is a whole lot more finite than what is left behind.

Speaking of looking back, I wonder if the MAGA rioters will one day look back at January 6, 2021 and realize that that’s the day they fucked up their lives? Boy, I sure hope so.

Well, this one won’t look back to anything being as she’s dead and all, but maybe all the other 300+ arrestees might have a good long time in prison to ponder the life choices.

 

This blonde one is from Texas so, what do you expect? (Answer: 10 to 20.)

 

 

 

 

 

Oh no! I left Easter Sunday ramblings behind, and I forgot all about Mike Huckabee’s amusing tweet of the day:

 

 

 

Republican Congressman Matt Goetz, from the Florida panhandle, is still in deep trouble over his sleazy sex life:

 

 

 

 

In other Republican Pervert news:

 

 

While former Speaker of the House John Boehner craps on the MAGA-wing of his party, remember that he was one of the people who created the modern Republican party starting in the 1990s:

 

This was part of Boehner’s agenda back then:

 

 

 

 

That’s all the news that I have the patience for this week. 

One last tidbit before we get to the cats. Christopher Cross wrote Ride Like the Wind while he was high on acid. I miss those days, too.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Have a great weekend, everyone. If you need something to celebrate, remember that we have made it through the Australian Summer with the quietest fire season in a decade! Although the flooding situation was the worst in 50 years due to La Nina bringing in lots of cool and wet weather, the good news is that a billion animal lives were saved in 2021 and if that doesn’t make you happy, well, here’s a picture of a wombat in a wheelbarrow:

 

Happy now?

XXOO and see you next week.

 

 

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I was called a Troll this week — twice. In internet lingo, a Troll is a person who intentionally upsets people by posting or tweeting “flame bait”, that is, an accusation or option that is so far out that people can’t help but want to scream at you through the ether and punch you.

While my words were indeed intentional, I didn’t want to start anything — I was just trying to give people helpful hints on how not to be stupid.

First case: Holly McCormack is a Democrat from Georgia who has announced that she is running against Trump-loving Marjorie Taylor Greene in 2022 and that’s well and fine, but this is her Twitter bio: Band mom, small business owner, and *actually* from northeast Georgia.

All I wrote was, in reply, “I’m all against MTG, but who cares that you’re a band mom??”

I didn’t even use the F-word, and I was really irritated by that fucking “band mom” credential, for obvious fucking reasons.

So I got a reply from another Twitter user that just said, “Troll”. It was the first time that I’d earned that distinction.

Second case: Some anonymous Twitter guy mused that he or she wanted to start a petition that called for “more voting rights and less millionaires.”

Well, you all know that I had to help. I responded: FEWER. Fewer millionaires, not less. It’s basis English, dude. Good luck with the petition.

Someone got offended that I would bother “a person of color” with an English lesson, and they even called me “dude” to use my words against me. To be honest, there was no indication that the original tweet was from a POC, and it actually made me laugh to think that it mattered, so I suspect that I was being trolled for being a “Troll”.

This here, below, is the kind of high-class trolling I aspire to, in this case in reply to the dip shit Republican representative of Ohio’s 2nd Congressional District:

I mostly stay out of trouble on Twitter. It’s my mouth that gets me in hot water and this week I was back on the phone trolling in the name of truth, justice, and to any others.

Maybe you’ve seen the footage of the sickening attack on a 65-year old Asian-American woman by a guy in broad daylight in mid-town Manhattan in front of a luxury apartment building while in the lobby of that building two doormen looked on and did nothing

Somebody tweeted out the phone number the management company of that luxury apartment building so I got on the phone and left a blistering message (but no F-bombs, I was keeping it classy) on the Brodsky Organization’s voice mail (they were smart to not put a person on the line), about the despicability of an organization that would hire such racists who would not help a person being beaten RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM.

Within hours, the Brodsky Organization released this:

Can you imagine being the union rep who has to defend these bums? 

The other phone call I made was to Donald Trump’s Mar-A-Logo office. You can talk to a real person there and tell them you want to speak to “That piece of shit who incited an insurrec—” but you won’t get much further because you’ll be hung up on.  However, you can feel good that you made working for Donald Trump really depressing for however long you were on the line.

Here’s the phone number:  561 832 2600.

It may seem to you that I spend a lot of time being sociable (see above) but lately I’ve discovered another interest: Footwear Design.

I’ve been buying my own shoes for, oh, 50 years now, and I still fuck it up. I bought a new pair of running shoes on the internet that I wore once. So I went to a store in person and bought another pair of running shoes…and once I had them on my feet for an hour they, they were also unwearable for exactly the same reason as the first pair: they were too high-cut around the ankles. It seems that I am incapable of snap judgements regarding the suitability of zapatos.

So here’s what I did:

Who knew that all you need, to customize your sneaks, is a pair of scissors and duct tape? I’m actually very proud of my resourcefulness. I’ve never seen the insides of a sneaker before, but now I know it’s mostly foam.

And now I have a stylish and super-comfy pair of one-of-a-kind running shoes. Yay me. Top Cat says he won’t be seen with me if I’m wearing these but he never comes running with me anyway.

This past week got off to a sad start with the freeing of that ship that had been stuck in the Suez Canal. Didn’t we all have great fun with Boaty McStuck Boatface? One guy even made a website so you could track the non-movement of it, at istheboatstillstuck.com:

Let’s return to that more innocent time, a week ago, when the whole world had something to laugh about:

 

All the red dots in the graphic below represent a man yelling unwanted advice on how to un-stuck the boat:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And then, one day, it was all over:

 

So much for the light side of the news. Let’s take a look at the fun and games of American politics, shall we? 

 

 

 

 

Remember Deborah Birx, the lady with the scarf, who stood behind Trump while he was telling Americans to inject disinfectant, or light, into themselves to cure COVID? She’s been on the television trying to convince us that she did the best she could to reign in the lies that the Trump administration told about the pandemic:

 

On March 26, Georgia’s Republican Governor Kemp signed into law a 98-page restriction on voters’ access to mail in ballots and drop boxes, instituted new ID requirements, gave the legislature more control over the returns, empowered the Republicans, and made it a criminal offense to give food or water to voters waiting in line.

 

 

 

Gov. Kemp singed the legislation behind closed doors in his office. State Representative Park Cannon knocked lightly on the door and was hauled of to jail by state police:

 

 

 

 

In case you’re wondering how it’s done, here’s how it’s done:

 

 

Things in Minnesota just got bad, but for a different reason:

This case was about a woman in Duluth who took one prescription pill and downed five shots of vodka at her home before going out o a bar. Seeing that she was drunk, the bouncer refused to let her in, so a 20-year old guy “picked her up” and took her back to his apartment, where she passed out. Then he raped, her, but, as you can see, the judge says it’s her fault for being drunk in the first place.

Here’s the judge, Paul Thissen:

Surprisingly, he is not a Republican; he’s a Democratic-Farmer-Labor (DFL) party leader. But he smirks like a shit-eating Republican.

So, to extrapolate, now that the MN Supreme Court ruled that if a woman chooses to drink, she can’t be raped because she “consented” to being blind drunk, then, if you rob or beat a drunk man, he has consented as well, right? Right?

Thissen runs for re-election in 2027. Should be an interesting campaign.

 

In more legal news:

The case (above) involved a Brooklynn judge and a plaintiff with a hair-line fracture on her leg, and it was the first day of jury selection when the 68-year old lawyer insisted that he couldn’t breathe with a face mask on. “Ok,” the judge said finally. “It hurts me to do it, but case dismissed.” 

And here’s the latest update re: America’s least favorite lawyer, the representative from Florida’s 1st Congressional District, Matt “He Looks Like a Cartoon of Butthead” Gaetz:

 

 

 

kIf you remember, Matt Gaetz is the dickhead who went to Wyoming to campaign against its lone representative, Liz Cheney, after Cheney voted to impeach Donald Trump. 

 

 

Matt Gaetz’s 1st Congressional District in Florida covers the state’s western panhandle:

 

But let’s face it, it’s not just the panhandle. All of Florida is a problem:

In case you thought that we’d finished with Georgia, YOU ARE WRONG! Marjorie Taylor Greene’s  4th Congressional District is known as “Georgia’s Florida”:

 

 

FunFact: Marjorie Taylor Greene ran unopposed in 2020, and got 74.7% of the vote.

Other Despicable Republican Women:

 

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And that’s it for this week, Dear Readers. You Are Now Informed.

Anyone in the mood to look at some big goofy dogs?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Have a great weekend, everyone. I want you all to get out there and make your world a better place, or at least annoy the shit out of someone who deserves it. 

Or take a nice nap. That’s good, too.

XXOO

 

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