What Was I Thinking

—-Yes, I forgot to turn on the Comments for this post, but I have corrected that so please read on and confess your latest buyer’s remorse!–

Now, back our regularly scheduled post:

I bought new shoes last week.


The thing is that I got up one day last week, put on decent clothes that I wear when I go out of the house instead of the duds I usually wear (which make me look homeless), I put on make up, I found my car keys, I got in my car, I drove to a store, I tried on various kinds of shoes, and the whole time I was stone cold sober. And, after all that effort, I bought these shoes, completely forgetting that wearing high heels is freaking torture. I can’t stand high heels.

I don’t know what I was thinking, buying these high heels, which is so unlike the stuff I’ve bought online after a few glasses of wine, in which case I know EXACTLY what I was thinking.

Two weeks ago, under just those boozy conditions I mentioned, I bought this from eBay:


It’s a vintage 1960s music jewelry box that plays I Could Have Danced All Night


…and inside it has a fuzzy round thing with a bit of orange plastic on its face and a felt flower-like thing on its head (allegedly this is a bird) that spins around while the music plays. I remember thinking, I HAVE TO HAVE THIS!!! Because I had a jewelry box (with a ballerina twirling inside) made in Japan just like this, that played I Could Have Danced All Night when I was a small girl. Every once in a while quaffing the elixir of the gods I roam into eBay looking for my old jewelry box so when I found this I thought, Well, it’s half right…and half right is better than not having a jewelry box that plays I Could Have Danced All Night, right?

Same few glasses of wine, different day, I was on eBay buying this CD from a seller in Norway:


It cost about three times as much as your usual CD, but I had to have it because I had heard these guys sing that old Leonard Cohen (Hallelujah) song on You Tube and I had really liked it, even tho I am not a Leonard Cohen fan. In fact, I loathe with a passion that stupid song, Suzanne: she’s touched your perfect body with her mind???? What a perv. But I like it when four Norwegian guys get together and sing Hallelujah. I’m unpredictable that way.

So, although I have never listened to this expensive Norwegian CD, I liked having it so much that I also bought this:


Which I have never listened to either but, one day, when I get the urge, I just might, and that’s what makes owning it worth it.

I’m also a fan of eBay in the UK, which is where I got this:


I saw this for sale and I thought, I HAVE TO HAVE IT because I could sew this onto the back of my leather jacket so everyone will know what my favorite punk band of the 1970s is, as soon as I buy a leather jacket. See? There’s a whole complete thought process.

This is another eBay UK must have of mine:


Hand embroidered, and already framed, I saw this and thought: I HAVE TO HAVE IT because it brought back memories of being in London that Summer of 1977 of the Silver Jubilee, seeing punk kids with my own eyes and being terrified by them, and being rained on for days on end, wearing bell bottoms and learning to order tea “black” or else you always get milk in it, using pay phones that “pipped”… those memories are priceless. This purchase was worth every cent it cost to ship it across the pond.

One evening not so long ago, me and my bottle of wine fetched this up out of the eBay zeitgeist:


I HAD TO HAVE THIS because this is what the future looked like to me, as a 9-year old in 1965: I was going to be a teenager with my own Princess phone in Acapulco Blue and I was going to spend too much time on it talking to my friends about boys, and I’d drive a Mustang convertible and go to dances and be popular. None of that happened — not one iota of that came true — but I still love the design of the Princess phone and this one is cat-sized!!! And now that you’ve seen it I know that every one of you Dear Readers is mad with envy, which is what owning stuff is all about.

And then there was the time that I HAD TO HAVE this:


A desert plate because, you know, thistles.

I don’t think you need to have downed half a bottle of Pinot Grigio to get why I HAD TO HAVE this:


An 8-inch tall glass bottle of vintage Avon perfume in the shape of the Eiffel Tower???? No explanation necessary, just buy it and congratulate yourself.

By the way, on the same day that I bought those ridiculous high heel shoes I also made the brilliant purchase of these:


They are Sketcher fuzzy-lined suede boots and they are the most warm, happy, comfortable shoes I’ve ever clapped onto Pearl and Vinny (the names of my left and right foots). I LOVE THESE BOOTS.


My husband thinks they are hideously ugly. Well, the good thing is that he won’t have to look at them this coming week because I am out of sight for the next five days, off on a fact-finding trip far, far away, traipsing in my pillow-like Sketcher boots around a certain world capital and a certain quaint village in search of content for my next book.

Which I will tell you all about next week, avec plaisir.


7 Comments, RSS

  1. Monica

    I know you’re on a trip . Hurry back and fill us in on latest ideas for book, and what you saw during your get-away.

    My indulgent stuff is mainly food that looks so good in the store, and I just have to try it.
    Or I stock up on far too many items to cook, and I never do. THEN I don’t know what to eat when I get hungry. Kitchen full, but too many foods not cooked.
    Thochkas– not so much.

  2. You look wonderful in what my husband calls hobbit footwear, or at least that’s what he calls them when they are on my feet…..maybe he’d like them better on your feet. In fact I’m sure he’d like them better on your feet, especially if it meant you came to my closet to get them.

    Safe travels, can’t wait to hear about your journey!

  3. Casey

    I bought an entire vacation when I was clearly not in my right mind to go camping and horseback riding in Montana for a week. I lasted 2 days but the tour operators are so used to people mistaking themselves for Cowboys that they had a system for rescuing people from their own delusions. I was outta there in three hours. I even paid the extra penalty to change my flight back home to NOW THIS INSTANT.

    Guess I’ll never be able to write my Wild memoir about the life enhancements of the utter boredom of being on a trail and the really not worth it experience of pooping in the wilderness. I am not worthy.

  4. Laura

    Please leave those high heeled shoes behind on your 5-day trip to a world capital and nearby village, no matter how chic they seem to be on impulse.

  5. SOOOO funny! Amazing how much more appealing things are on eBay after midnight and a few glasses of wine.
    Love your boots! Never mind the hobbit-feet comparison, although it does remind me of a comment I read on a blog about Toms – the commenter said they look like shoes for lepers. But they are comfy with that leper colony vibe.
    The heels? Pretty sure I couldn’t even stand in them, never mind put one foot in front of the other and stay upright.

    Another book??? SQUEEEELLLLL!!

  6. Diane from Denver

    Off to Paris, non? Vivian, I had the jewelry box with the rotating ballerina as did half the girls, I think, in my class. Possibly just as addictive as late night E-Bay bingeing, could be my frequent visits to a Goodwill store not far away, which lies just down the hill from a very upscale neighborhood (think Sands Point sans Le Sound de l’isle Longue…) where The Ladies Who Lunch donate gorgeous outfits and fabulous shoes after wearing them once or twice. Merveilleux! My two best pairs of ugly comfy shoes come from there and I wear them almost non-stop.

    If you’re not already there, Bon Voyage! If you are, will you visit with the ever-charmant artiste Carol Gilotte?

    Cheers, Diane from Garden City
    et alors, maintenant, de Denver

  7. Kirra

    Oh! Some awesome buys! Love the jewelry box and plate. It’s okay about the boots, here in Australia in winter we all wear ugg boots (as slippers usually) which are similar fleece lined boots. They are great. Happy holiday! 🙂

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