I’m Only Happy When It Rains.

Last week I was too lazy to finish the Candy Nap story, so let me make amends this week. If you remember, it started like this:

This was Candy on Monday:

This was Candy on Tuesday:

This was Candy on Wednesday:

And now you get to see how it all ends!

This was was Candy on Thursday:

And finally, we can finish this up with Candy, on Friday:

So now it’s a new week and Candy has not gone near her little nap patch. This week she has decided that there is a new perfect nap spot. It’s the coffee table in the living room, and she sleeps half underneath it and half (her butt half) sticking out from under it. So this between-the-flower-pots thing was a one-week wonder, and nothing more.

I used to have boyfriends like that.

This week, I wish I could join Candy under the coffee table. I’ve been trying to get my head into a Trump-free zone but lordy, it is not easy. There’s just so much to hate about him, his progeny, his enablers, and his wife, who we have now scovered is every bit as delusional as her husband and they both have the I.Q. of mold.

Being distracted by an ever-present sense of doom and despair is the only way I can explain how I managed to think, long and carefully, about the form for my Winter Scene Castle from the Kate Spade blank book that we got in at the used book store a few weeks ago:

Yep, you see it, what I should have seen long before I got to this stage. I forgot to draw the back wall of this form. I connected the floor to the gable, which is an impossibility:

So I just cut off the offending gable. . .

. . . and rescued the form by inserting a new wall, and then I added the roof:

If you remember, I had alreadymade a “sketch” of a castle that I thought I’d use for this blank book:

But I wasn’t excited about making this little homey castle, so I looked around the inter webs some more and I came up with the famous pink castle in Aberdeenshire, called Craigievar:

I love the height, and the proportions. I riffed on it and came up with this:

I’ve put three trees in the front bit, but they are really hard to see in photographs:

I have glued the verso pages in place so they make a hill, because i was dying to make a half-moon bridge for this castle. BTW,if you ever build a castle, don’t do this. It was murder to get the bridge to fit the angle of the “hill”, if you know what I mean. I had to make three bridges before I got it right:

The next time you see this scene, the whole thing will be covered in trees. I think. That’s the plan, for now.

My advise is, Never make an all-white castle. You have to constantly wash your hands to make sure the surface stays clean, and your hands will feel raw by the end of the day. Also, every tiny flaw seems to light up from within when there is no surface decoration (like, text, or color, or images) to distract the eye. In an all-white construction, there is no forgiveness.

When I’m finished, and this will be The End. Ten castles. DONE.

But you and me, Dear Readers, we’re not DONE yet! Because I’m sure you all want to hear about the latest news from the one-room used book store (the one that I co-manage to benefit the William Cullen Bryant Library of Roslyn, NY):

Two weeks ago, this odd little book came in as a donation:

You can tell by the typeface that this book was, in its day, very groovy. If you recognize the author Avery Corman, it’s because he got famous later in his career for writing two novels that were made into movies; Oh, God! and Kramer vs. Kramer.

See my thumb? See how small this book is? If you can’t read the type, the “joke” is: Raquel Welsh dressed is the same as Raquel Welch undressed. ha ha.

This book was published by Simon and Schuster in 1969, and some of the “jokes” are very much of their time.

Throughout the book, the type and the illustrations are the same color. Which is brown.

Note the “I Am Curious Yellow” reference.

Some of the “jokes” are more timeless.

I’m thinking, it must have been really easy to get a book published in 1969.

My co-manager priced this book at 50 cents, but I’m thinking that if we get the right customer, we could get a whole dollar for it. Opinions?

And for my personal collection of The Most Boring Books in the World, this, too, came in last week:

Harper & Row published this book in 1966. I’m thinking, it must have been insanely easy to get a book published in 1966.

And this book is priceless.

Business at the used book store was a little slow this week because of the weather. It rained and got cold.

That’s the neighbor’s cat, Dennis, inside the old rabbit hutch in my backyard, and that’s Taffy, underneath it, out of the rain because he’s not stupid. But Dennis is smarter.

But then it got sunnier, but not warmer, and yesterday was a good day to perch on a rock and think about things:

I hope that you all have a great weekend, and that you, too, get the chance to drink think about things, but not too hard. And not on a rock.

Taffy sends his XX OO.


10 Comments, RSS

  1. What a peculiar-looking castle. (The real pink one, not your paper one, which is terrific, of course.) I love that little book, though I must say I don’t get the Raquel Welch joke at all. I guess she’s hot either way? (I’m gay, so the clothes matter. LOL)

    Who knows why cats do the things they do? They are truly the world’s most mysterious creatures.

  2. Was 1969 a happier time for prospective authors? Was it really easy to get published? You know, I think it was. Jokes like the ones you displayed have no choice now but to try to go viral on some social media place, not in print. Back then, you could learn a lot by reading.

    But the saddest part of 1969 is that Nixon became president, and that seemed like the end of the world. Later, Reagan seemed like the end of the world. And now, as you and climate scientists and economists are fond of telling us, the end of the world is really here because we didn’t know when a president wasn’t the worst it could be. Happy drinking!

    best… mae at maefood.blogspot.com

  3. Kirra

    Thanks for the one week wonder update of Candy and the flowerpot. Your white castle is impressive, as is the photo of the real castle you based it on. I also like your description of the ‘IQ of mould’ very descriptive and accurate! That book is strange, I don’t really get it…..but I think someone would and they would pay $1 for it.

  4. Leslie

    Dear Vivian, I agree that the white book is too plain and it’s challenges do not yield a better castle for all the pains you had to take. Words all over the surface give the castle a visual texture. Books without pictures are bad enough, but books without words…
    As for the book about things that are the same, it could have been interesting if in fact the things were actually the same. The Ed Sullivan pages were amusing to me. The rest of them, well I’d like to be kind but I can’t think of a way to be honest and kind at the same time.

  5. Your days are spent in an interesting way. Castles are unique and wonderful.
    Cat pictures give us cat lovers a chance to see how other cars behave , just like ours. Your cats have a perfect house in which to be a cat .
    What about the guy that lived in yr front yard? The one you took care of a few months ago. He lived in the neighborhood, I think. Forget his name. You couldn’t interest him into coming into your house.

  6. Becky

    Candy’s napping arrangements were so funny….and now on to new spots. And what do animals think when it is raining and one seeks complete shelter while another is okay with getting a little wet. Cats and dogs are a puzzle unto themselves. Katie has a luxurious dog bed and often sleeps on the edge with legs stretched out on the floor!
    I love the White Castle. Can’t wait to see it with all the added trees. It’s my favorite.
    As for the book…. seems like it should bring in more money. The quotes were really a sign of the times then.
    As for moldy problems….It seems to have infected our local crumb bums as well. It must be highly contagious in the Republican Party.

  7. That Dennis is a smart one for sure.
    Trump and his wife do get dumber and lie more with each day. I just voted and there won’t be a Republican getting my vote, no way!
    LOVE your castles. I was hoping you would do a pink castle too. Oh well, I do love them all.
    How I would love visiting your bookstore too. I am sure there would be books that would follow me out the door.

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