Somebody in Leicestershire Likes Me.

It’s weird to see my castles out in public:

They’ve been my personal property for months, and now they are hanging out at the Bryant Library on the north shore of Long Island for all the world (or the tens of library patrons) to see:

People who know where to find me (hint: in the used book store on Fridays from noon – 3pm, and on Saturdays from 1 – 4pm) have asked me about certain aspects of their construction and I honestly can’t remember a lot of the details of making these things.

I also have to think hard to remember the order in which I made them. That’s my first castle on the left, and my second castle on the right:

There was a time when I wanted to give each castle a name and a back-story, but I like this austere display better. This floor-to-ceiling case is very modern and uncluttered, and it leaves each viewer free to make their own interpretations.

Speaking of interpretations, when I was in Las Vegas in October, I crossed paths with an interesting cake display in the pastry shop at the Aria casino:

Now I know the size and shape of my next castles.

Five feet tall, with tiers.

And I have to make two, of course. One with colors, and one in monochrome (because I can’t decide which I like better).

What is up with all the hoopla about Bush 41? I do not remember him being such a beloved figure during his presidency, which gave us the first bullshit Gulf War and then he left Saddam Hussein in power so he could kill a million Iraqi and Kurdish civilians, and he continued Ronnie Reagan’s apathy towards the AIDS epidemic, and then he gave us Bush 43 and don’t get me started on that.

Let’s remember that Bush 41 was a mean, lying, race-baiting (Willie Horton) Republican who puked into the lap of the Japanese Prime minister at a state dinner (January 8, 1992).  I don’t care that when he became decrepit he was a nice old fart who wore zippy socks. He’s still a creep in my book.

This just in: LinkedIn, the website where everybody is a CEO of something, and they brag their “dynamic” leadership and how they went to Harvard because they took a three-hour seminar at the Kennedy School; yeah, that LinkedIn…anyway, I got an email from LikedIn this morning telling me that my resume/profile was searched three times yesterday.

Naturally, I had to click. Were the people at the MacArthur Fellowship looking for me so they could finally give me my big fat Genius Award?? I mean, have you SEEN my castles???

Well, no, it wasn’t a $625,000 payday for me.

It was the Leicestershire (England) Police. They searched my LinkedIn profile three times yesterday.

So I googled Leicestershire News and did not find out that there has been a multitude of unsolved outbreaks of genius in the East Midlands and the authorities are looking for a really hot 62-year-old American with a knack for making paper castles.

I found this.

If this isn’t proof that mirrors don’t work in the UK or else that lady would never go out in public with hair like that, then, maybe she’s a vampire.

I’m sorry that today’s post lacks the usual amount of cute kitty porn  photos of my cats  being hilarious  napping. It’s a good thing that I had pre-loaded photos of my castles a few days ago because Lo, when I sat down to type today I discovered that the WordPress elves have fucked with the editing interface and all the pedals and levers and cog wheels that I use behind the scenes to bring you this MacArthur Genius-quality  blog have disappeared, and in their place there is a baffling new array of counter-intuitive buttons that I have no idea how to work.

You know how our favorite thing in the world is to learn new technology, especially when it means that we have to first un-learn the old new technology that we learned, like, last week?

Yeah. That’s where I am today. I’m so fed up with this pace of learning and un-learning that I could puke in a Japanese Prime Minister’s lap.

Have a great weekend, everyone. I will figure this shit out and see you back here next Friday with  cute kitty porn  cat pix and uplifting tales from my molehill life.


14 Comments, RSS

  1. Megan

    Vivian I share your irritation with technology, I worked in broadcasting for 30+ years and the thing that really bothered me was when new systems were introduced, you had to learn them obviously but my supervisor when we would ask for a pay rise, between 1993-2014 she stiffed us all and we just got the CPI raises, her logic, we didn’t need to be paid more for learning about digital formats as we no longer used cassette formats. However we had learned both when it was appropriate, argh. I have now turned my back on all that stuff I am returning to an earlier easier less complicated form of living. I wish you patience and success, you are an inspiration. Pat the cats for me.

  2. Lois

    Oh, Vivian my friend, let us not forget that Mr. Bush was a former head of the CIA when he swore he knew nothing about Ollie North’s Iran-Contra scam. I always wondered about that.

  3. Maureen L Riley

    first, i LOVE seeing all your castles displayed in one place … makes them even more awesome. i’ve enjoyed following each and every one of them during assembly; completely fascinating. but all finished and pulled together as a fashion piece? encroyable!!

    as for the Leicestershire situation, that’s really odd. why was she looking YOU up? did she not like one of your reviews of an English garden? you may never know, but it sure would make for a good mystery novel

    hope you and your computer become friends again real soon. meanwhile, hope you’re enjoying the holidayness of the next few weeks.


  4. Kirra

    Your castles look brilliant in the glass case! I hope many people get to see them. Congratulations!

    I am doubtful that those tall cakes are all cake, apparently they use fake round things and decorate them and you only eat the top one or something… I’ve heard.

    LinkedIn is very weird, at least the police checked three times before realizing you probably weren’t the person they were after.

    It doesn’t surprise me that Bush sucked, his son was shit too.

    Good luck with all the new buttons and do your best not to puke in the Japanese PM’s lap!

  5. Casey

    Same as what everyone here says, your castle look stunning all together. I can imagine how little kids must stand there looking at them and wondering if they were real or were they magic from fairy tales.

    If I were you, this is a good time to be extradited to England to the little town of Leicester for crimes you didn’t commit. You will eventually be found innocent of all charges, but meantime you get a break from American politics. Maybe they’ll give you house arrest and you could write a memoir about the horror, call it “Sometimes the Tea Was Cold and The Crumpets not Buttery”. I jest.

    Bush 41 fought the Japanese in WWII and was even shot down once in the Philippines, and he saw several of his fellow fighter pilots killed. So here’s what I think when he was in Japan, and it all came back to him that he was eating dinner with the enemy, he decided to make one last gesture against Hirohito and he upchucked his dinner onto the Japanese Prime Minister.

  6. Your castle display looks GREAT! I hope they go on to bigger and better things. An art gallery, maybe? I totally forgot about Bush barfing at the Japanese state dinner. So many stellar accomplishments for one man, LOL!

  7. Judy Jennings

    These castles are so wonderful, Vivian, no way possible to pick my favorite. But oh how I wish I could shrink myself and live in one of them. Or perhaps spend a few weeks in each, and YOU might let me since you own all of them? I’ve always loved that fantasy of miniature living/doll houses/cubby holes, secret passages. You’re a great architect to feed that fantasy! ?

  8. Marg-o

    Your castles look like they are in a museum, where they belong. Beautiful.

    Same here re: H W Bush. Meh.

    I miss the cats, hope you figure out them newfangled buttons soon.

  9. Your castles DO make me happy, but I must admit pictures of Taffy’s orange fuzzy tummy make me happier. But there’s plenty Taffy Tummy in your former posts that I can always go browse when needed!

    I waited and waited for someone to give this “tribute” to HW: “He was a rich out-of-touch warmonger who spawned white-collar criminal Neil and even bigger warmonger George W. Bush,” but nobody came out with that. Honestly.

  10. Can’t wait to see those two very big castles. I think of your smaller ones from time to time and it is tempting to try and do one. But I think you are the talented paper castle builder.
    I think Bush sounded pretty good after the one we have in office now. At least he could state a sentence coherently. Not saying he was a good man, but I think he will come to be known as much better than this 45 guy.

  11. Leslie

    Kudos and accolades!! A beautiful display. They do fine without a name or a story. “The thing that can be named is not the nameless thing.” This allows the viewer to imagine the rest, which viewers like to do. The piquant details you’ve added suggest time and place without imposing, just evocative. Say, wouldn’t they look great on a postage stamp? Especially the fairy castle.

  12. Late to the party but three cheers on the castle exhibition. They look terrific in the vitrines and boy, I hope you got oodles of praise for them because you deserve it. And I love your snowflake trees too! They don’t need names and I think it’s more fun for the viewer to make up the story — and the stories they could tell. Love it all.

    Compared to Trump, I’m almost willing to forgive all former presidents. At least the memorial had a bit of a “take that, you jerk” tone to it directed to the fellow sitting on the aisle, scowling. I saw that look on kid Kevin (a lot) when he was about eight. Sometimes I still do… but in the spirit of holly jolly, I’ll let that one go!

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