Every Woman Over The Age Of Fifty Should Invest In A Three-Way Mirror.

There is nothing worse than going to Florida in February and spending a few days sitting outside on a balcony with a glass of wine and a good book in a warm sea breeze while watching a spectacular sun set on the Gulf of Mexico, and then coming back home to the north shore of Long Island and it’s still February, and you’re on the north shore, of Long Island, where it’s 29 degrees and everything in your backyard is dead, including Likety. I’m not in a good mood toady.

Weather in Florida is like a work of art, if you like works of art that are gorgeous, monumental, dramatic, and awe-inspiring. I LOVE the weather in Florida in February. There’s only one problem about the lovely weather in Florida. It’s in Florida.

Two words why I detest Florida: Capri Pants.

Just because they’re named after a beautiful Mediterranean island where billionaires like to park their yachts DOES NOT MEAN that you look like a billion bucks wearing them. Capri pants were invented by a Prussian dressmaker in 1948, to be worn by a new kind of human being that was created in the post-war years — teenagers. These days, no teenager would be caught dead in  Capri pants.

That’s because these days, capri pants are worn by every white-haired, fat-assed retiree in Florida, the kind who flock to Perkin’s Pancake House for the 4:30PM early bird dinners on Free Pie Mondays.

I get it. I get that Capri pants are supposed to be “fun”. They cover more than shorts, so you don’t have to expose your sad wrinkled knees, and they are shorter than regular pants, like cut-offs for the elderly. Woo hoo! Capri pants mean that you’re a free bird, a party animal, a pie-eater ready to rave ’til the six o’clock news comes on!

Some people don’t mind getting old, and giving up, and wearing Capri pants. But I’m not one of those people.

No, I want to avoid people who give Getting Old a bad name so I will not move to Florida full-time, but I do like a dose of it during February.

The only good thing about my comeback to the north shore of Long Island yesterday was the  movie that I watched on the two-hour flight back to New York. I can’t say enough good things about JoJo Rabbit.DO NOT WATCH to official trailer for the movie on YouTube — it gives away the plot twists.

Jo Jo is a ten-year-old Nazi and his best friend is Adolf Hitler, and it’s a comedy. I know it sounds deadly, but that’s all you need to know about this film going in. That’s about all I knew, but I was trapped on a plane so I gave it a chance. and I AM SO GLAD I DID!!

The movie was written and directed by a 44-year old native of New Zealand, Taika Waititi, whose birth name is Taika David Cohen.  His mother is Jewish and his father is Maori, and  Waititi calls himself a “Polynesian Jew”, in case you’re wondering why a Kiwi is telling a holocaust story.

Waititi also play Hitler in the movie, for which he won an Oscar this year for Best Adapted Screenplay.

I think Jo Jo Rabbit should have won Best Picture. It was one of the nine nominees this year, but Parasite won, and as hot as I am for anything Korean these days, I wasn’t crazy about Parasite and now I’m totally infatuated with Jo Jo Rabbit. I want to take Top Cat to see it just so I can see it again.

Go see it, even if you have to fly Delta from RSW to JFK to do it.

You will thank me.

And now for our regularly scheduled programming.

Fuck Trump.

 

This is absolutely true. Trump said this Feb 21, 2020 at a rally in Colorado Springs, CO. And the crowd cheered.

 

 

 


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Have a great weekend, Dear Ones. Don’t do what I do:

 

11 Comments, RSS

  1. Megan

    Glad you had a nice sojourn in the warm. I agree with you on Capri pants, but like a lot of fashion they only look good on a small percentage of the population, I do have a few pairs of Capri pants… because I am short and they fit perfectly as long pants! I loved JoJo Rabbit, and couldn’t wait for it to open on Boxing Day, found the rabbit scene a bit confronting but otherwise a great film Taika Waititi is brilliant and so is his film.

  2. Very good reading today. Especially after a trip for a few days to Florida. I hear it’s been “cold” there at night (50’s) and not very warm during the days, lately. ( 69 to 74 degrees.)
    The US is cold all over, this week. Hope you enjoyed the getaway.
    So far, no caronavirus in Fl. that I’ve heard of. Yet.
    Glad your back on the Isle of Long, where your cats and Top Cat belong. I’m sure they missed you.

    Good Trump info/jokes !!

  3. Taika Waititi! I’ve been a fan ever since discovering him in What We Do in the Shadows, a fabulous movie that gets more hilarious each time I see it — about three times now. Can’t wait to see Jo Jo Rabbit. I’d have to drive to a city two hours away to attend a theatre, so I’ll wait patiently till it comes on one of the streaming services. But knowing what Monsieur Taika can do, it’s worth the wait. -Kate

  4. Casey

    I laughed at this: cut-offs for the elderly.

    I’m going to be elderly one of these days and I will remember your warning. No capri pants.

    And, oh yeah, Fuck Trump. He says the CORVID-19 is a Democratic hoax. I really hope one of his grandkids gets it.

  5. Several years ago the Gap came out with Capri pants for men — long, loose shorts that ended mid-calf. I bought a pair and I actually loved them. Wore them for years, long after they’d passed out of fashion. Then again, I AM from Florida! LOL

    February is one of the best Florida months. Before you get too carried away by Florida’s gorgeous weather, though, go back in August! You’ll wish you were in Long Island then!

  6. Kirra

    Glad you had a trip somewhere warm! Capri pants in Florida sound scary…..good advice.

    I have seen JoJo Rabbit yet but need to! New Zealanders are pretty great at many things.

    I’m still getting over the tweet you shared that Trump fired all the pandemic response team two years ago, that could totally screw the US…..

  7. Yes, we are political prisoners. So tired of it.
    Sunshine in Florida sounds lovely in February. Well capris were good enough for Audrey Hepburn. Don’t you want to be like Audrey? No I had one pair of old capris set aside for a sunshine adventure. I guess I had better send them to Goodwill. Ha! I don’t wear them anyway. i guess my subconscious knew I shouldn’t.

  8. The trouble with capri pants isn’t the pants. It’s the shoes. No shoes look good with them. Tennies look wrong (and darn — they’re the most comfy). Some sandals are OK, some no way. I’ve seen people in them in heels. Really? I always think of Lucile Ball — Lucy with her hair tied with a bow in capri pants and a tucked blouse.

    I NEED to see Jojo Rabbit.

  9. The read was quite exciting!!, though I have little reservations about your views on Capri pants. Yes, I like everything new that comes to the market, and I am happy with anything that covers my modesty(as per societal norms, as I don’t have the energy to fight for it). Another major pick from the post was Jo Jo Rabbit. I’ll watch it this weekend. As for the memes, God save the human race!!

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