I’m Only Surprised This Didn’t Happen Sooner. (Tales of COVID Rage.)

I got quite a few emails and a phone call about Wednesday’s post. Everyone’s nerves are frayed, I get it, so I want to assure you all that Top Cat and I are not getting divorced. That thought, no matter how long and vigorously we fight, never enters our mind. We’ve been together for 16 years…wait…17?.. years and we stopped fighting about the big stuff a long time ago because those issues are done and over and laid to rest. We only fight about little, stupid stuff, or when we are in (on?) Orkney. And we’re never going back to Orkney. And I thought the fight was funny.

***Ten minutes later***

I just checked in with Top Cat and asked if he’s still mad at me about the ice cube tray incident. He said he didn’t remember it. (He didn’t read Wednesday’s post.) So there, life goes on in these fraught times, with a blip every now and then that reminds us that this is not the “new normal”, this is Bizzar-o World.

For instance, I went grocery shopping yesterday — my big outing of the week — at 6:30 in the morning because the local Stop and Shop opens from 6am – 7:30 am just for people over 60. Now, I would never EVER put myself in that cohort under any other circumstance except for when I need pizza dough and cabbage and I want to get to the store while the shelves are reasonable full, so, there I was, in line for check out, at 6:30am. That’s just weird.

Face masks are required for entry, and the aisles are marked one-way, and there is a very elaborate distancing system where everyone lines up in aisle 15 and waits for cashier availability on the other side of the store. It’s just so weird.

So I get the wave from cashier #2 and I drag my tote bags full of cabbage and pizza dough to her counter. But there’s an old guy standing there, checking his receipt, so I have to wait at a distance while he’s reading his receipt. And he says to the cashier, a middle aged lady just like him (but NOT ME BECAUSE I LIVE IN MY OWN WORLD WHERE I AM STILL 29), “I didn’t get my points. I spent $49 and I didn’t get my points.”

I don’t know what he’s talking about but I assume it’s some lame cash-back program from when times were normal and people could use “points” to buy stuff during reasonable store hours.

I look at the cashier and I say, “He’s kidding, right?”

The cashier, who is behind a plastic partition and wearing latex gloves and a face mask and a plastic face shield, says, waving her hand in front of her extensive PPE,  “Sir, I can’t see too well so ask the manager.”

The old guy is still complaining: “I should have 90 cents back on my receipt!”

So of course I am riled up. I mean, Jesus, this guy should be on his knees thanking this lady for just being there and not hassling her for his goddam 90 cents. So I tell the old guy: “Are you serious? This lady got up at 5 this morning to come to work at 6 and you want to bother her about 90 fucking cents?”

He says to me, “Hey lady, I was a Marine in Vietnam…”

And I talk over him, “Nobody gives a shit, mister, nobody gives a shit, nobody gives a shit.”

The cashier interrupts our tete-a-tete to tell him, again, to just go to the manager, and he says something about my attitude and finally gets out of the way so I can pay for my cabbage and pizza dough.

I tip the cashier $10 and say, “Thank you for being here.” She thanks me so profusely that I wish I had given her a twenty.

And I wish I had offered that old guy a dollar to fuck off about his 90 cents.

Then I went home and made cabbage soup. I didn’t yell at anybody for the rest of the day. My cats love me.

Well, I think they do.

Taffy and Bibs switching it up, napping on the living room couch.


This is their normal hangout.

This is them at 11:16am Friday morning:

So life in lockdown goes on. And on. And on. But tonight there’s pizza!!

Hang in there, Dear Readers.





































Have a great weekend, Dear Ones. Don’t watch the news. Stay inside. Stay alive. And for god’s sake, stay away from the Clorox.

And, oh  yeah:





8 Comments, RSS

  1. christine

    Thanks, Vivian, for expressing and posting what we are thinking and feeling. I say Amen to your observations.
    I plan on enjoying some time with your Garden Book today for an escape and some perspective. Maybe you could consider doing another book about Really Staying Home for a year.
    May I just add that, of all years to be a Leap Year, this would not have been my choice of a year to make one day longer!!

  2. Casey

    I had a few good laughs today. Thank you.The look on your cat’s face is priceless. Doesn’t she know there’s a pandemic raging and people need kisses???

    I wonder if the War Hero got his 90 cents? I see stuff like that and I think to myself: If I Get Like This When I’m Old Please Kill Me.

    I just read that Trump now claims that he was being sarcastic when he suggested injecting disinfectant to kill COVID. Well I saw the video and he was serious. But his base will agree that he has the greatest sense of humor and that if you got your panties in a bunch because of his funny then you can’t take a joke, snowflake.

    But the historical record will contain that footage and anyone with three braincells will know. The idiot was serious.

    That’s it for the day. I can’t take any more “news”. I’m going to bed. With my vodka and orange juice. P.S. It’s 4 o’clock. It’s been a long week in isolation.

  3. Kirra

    Thanks for some great laugh’s Vivian! Always such a great collection of on point commentary.
    I hope you are all safe and well in the US.

    Here in Australia things are going well, so some people have said let’s ease restrictions and people are getting a bit slack, not a good attitude.

    I think it’s really great how you told that guy what for and tipped the cashier. As someone who still has to go to work (I’m a teacher and schools are open in most of Australia), rather then working from home, it has been at times very stressful. I hear people saying that we need to think about the mental health of people being inside a lot and not seeing friends, and we do, but I don’t hear much about the mental health of all the essential workers who have to go to work each day. Some people need to realise that is equally and possibly more stressful and they need to just chill out. End of my rant!

  4. Megan

    I’m not getting many smiles from your posts now, of course the cats are gorgeous and did bring a smile… but the other stuff is truly terrifying. Has your president really incited sedition? Why do people think it is okay to “sacrifice the weak” this is the total breakdown of civilised society. I think we probably need to feel very worried now. Have a wonderful weekend and enjoy your soup and pizza, in my opinion you can’t go wrong with either.

  5. This week the idiots hauled their Trump float to the governors “mansion” (residence) and brought their guns and protested outside. People are getting testy. Well, a lot of people are getting testy but I think they are just loud mouths. There aren’t a lot of them, but they’re very visual and vocal. Here’s my theory — enough of them are stupid enough to take His advice to heart and they’ll use precious lysol to inject, drink bleach and die off before November 3. Hey, a girl can dream, can’t she?

    Well done for standing up for the grocery woman with Mr. Ninety Cents. They need all the support and help they can get.

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