Stuff Happens And I Don’t Know Why.

I still find these 2020-Is-A-Shit-Show memes very funny because they are true.

 

 

In case you need more proof that 2020 keeps getting weirder and weirder, here’s a photo from my life recently:

Yeah, that’s a cat. A very small cat.

And yeah, that’s the engine of my car.

Here’s the story.

It was quarter to three in the afternoon and I can hear that my neighbor is knocking on my front door. But I’m in the last quarter-hour of my Zoom Korean class and I don’t answer it.

So then, I get a text.

There’s a kitten stuck in your car can we go in?

I text back, In class now, done soon, go for it.

At the end of class I stroll out to the curb, where my car is parked in the street, and the hood is up and the neighbors next door and the neighbors across the street are gathered ’round. There is also a continuous mewing sound, rather loud, from the front of the car, and they have figured out that the kitten is wedged into the engine compartment and that the best way to get the it is to grab it from below.

“I’m going to call the fire department,” I say, in my take-charge way, “And ask if they have really strong equipment to jack the car up his enough so someone can get underneath the car.”

Five minutes later, SIRENS and LIGHTS come roaring into our quiet suburban road here in the bucolic north shore of Long Island — four SUVs, a fire truck, and one of those fire dept. trucks that looks like an ambulance.

They make a road block so no one can drive down our stretch of Warner Avenue and six-to-ten burly young guys in bermuda shorts, tattoos, and T-shirts, and two guys in full fire-fighting regalia, drag a huge jack and some canisters and a hose to my car.

Then the cops show up.

So there we all are, about three thousand pounds of humanity, rescuing a teeny tiny kitten from my car.

I’m looking at all these vehicles and equipment and manpower…to rescue a kitten…and I say out of the corner of my mouth to my next door neighbor, Must be a slow day at the fire house.

And she says to me, Now we know why our taxes are so high.

Or course, all this activity drew a crowd of all the other neighbors, who came out to see the spectacle. Did someone find a dead body? Is there an improvised explosive device? Did someone need the jaws of life?

Nah, we said, shrugging our shoulders; There’s a kitten.

What finally freed the kitten was a simple spray from one of the fire department’s canisters — which contained water — and we saw a light grey tabby kitten streak away from us into the little woods on the side of the road.

All the residents of Warner Avenue thanked the public servants extravagantly for their help, and the neighbor across the street said that she would set her Have-A-Heart trap to catch the kitten, and that satisfied the firefighting crew and they got in their SUVs, fire truck, cop cars, and ambulance-looking-thing and left.

Only the cops were wearing face masks and I tried to social distance, but it was chaotic and hot as hell so I’m self-quarantining again for two weeks.

Next morning, I’m picking up the Sunday New York Times from my front walk and the neighbor walks over to me, carrying a Have-A-Heart trap, and she says, I got the kitten!

The kitten is in very good condition — clean ears, clear eyes, no runs nose, not noticeable flea-ridden, and not noticeable starving. Believe me, I’ve been trapping feral cats for 15 years and I’ve seen far, far worse.

The neighbor asks me, Do you want her?

I distinctly remember that I said, No. I remember throwing up my ands, backing away, saying, No, no, nononono. I do not want a kitten. I have five cats who are enough of a pain in the ass…I don’t need and I DON’T WANT a kitten. I don’t want to make that kind of 20-year commitment. Nope. NO. I do not want a kitten.

So I really, honestly don’t know how it happened. I got a kitten.

She’s very cute, and very affectionate, and I would show you photos of her but I’m having trouble getting them off my camera and iPad so check back next week.

In the meantime, How’s your week been? Bat-shit crazy as usual? Yes? Because that’s how we live now, right?

Let’s take a look back

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I read this obituary with pleasure:

 

From my Twitter feed:

 

 

Try to have a great weekend, Dear Ones. I’ll try to get photos of Car Cat (that’s the name she’s going by for now) up by Wednesday. I might not have wanted a kitten in my life, but that little face brightens my day.

And, oh yeah.

Fuck Trump.

 

 

 

 

 

9 Comments, RSS

  1. Citizen Reader July 31, 2020 @ 6:41 pm

    YAY NEW KITTY!
    Hope Car Kitten gets along well with the rest of the household!
    Now, I’m sorry, I try not to pay attention to the news, but I do like to read your posts. So that is where I learned that George W. Bush and Bill Clinton spoke at John Lewis’s funeral? Are you shitting me? The King of Torture and Unnecessary Warmongering and President Let’s Pass Ridiculous Incarceration Crime Laws and Sign Newt Gingrich’s Fuck Poor People Law (well, actually called the Personal Responsibility and Work Opportunity Act, that’s catchier)? Nobody else thinks that is absolute bullshit? 2020 indeed, what a mind-bending year.

  2. Megan July 31, 2020 @ 7:48 pm

    Wow fabulous turn out for the kitten… and it only took a spray bottle of water, typical. I thought immediately of Ted E Bear saying no, your words said NO kitten but obviously your heart was enthusiastically saying yes! So Carla, the kitten? It’s a small glimmer of hope and she is affectionate, so make the most of it I say. So sorry to hear about you going back into a fortnight of self isolation. Hope you have enough gin to see you through, ‘House Wine’ does not look that appealing. Take care and thank you very much for the post.

  3. Lois July 31, 2020 @ 8:51 pm

    We lived in Boone, NC in 1998. my husband wanted to give me a kitten for Christmas. He was working in Hickory NC. Because of the snowy weather, I was not expecting him until the next morning. He drove up the mountain, which can be risky in the winter, and arrived at our cabin late in the evening. He walked in with a litter pan and a food dish and announced that my “gift” was in the dashboard of the truck. I’m hearing impaired so I could only trust my husband’s statement that there was a cat meowing in the truck. Eventually, we coaxed the kitten so that I could reach in and pull her out. She had an affinity for candles and so was named “Cinder”. One of the best cats I ever had!

  4. Kirra August 1, 2020 @ 9:01 am

    Good luck with Car Cat kitten! What a story, look forward to more photos.
    I do love the second picture you posted, definitely seem to be needing lots of chocolate lately.
    All the best isolating for 14 days too.

  5. Karen August 1, 2020 @ 2:54 pm

    That kitten found you, she just got a little stuck on the way! Thanks for some good news!!!

  6. Maryanne in SC August 2, 2020 @ 10:16 am

    That kitten knew EXACTLY which car to pick.

    Your Wednesday & Friday posts are big bright spots in this dark, depressing time. Thanks for putting them together for us.

  7. jeanie August 2, 2020 @ 11:27 am

    I know why I didn’t comment on this yesterday as soon as I read it — I handed the computer to Rick and said “you’ve gotta read this!” And we laughed at all the good bits.

    Welcome, new kitten. Named yet? I might have missed that. I’d call it Carburator (Carbie for short — you know it will be purring along) or Village (Villie — because it takes a village to save a cat). Or Panda for the pandemic…. although she doesn’t look like a panda proper. Still… Gypsy (a boy) was named for Gypsy Rose Lee, so…)

    Anyway, a great post and I’ve always believed cats find their people. I rest my case.

  8. Marilyn August 3, 2020 @ 6:08 pm

    Definitely, this kitten has a story. Welcome little one to your new home.
    I told my “live-in gardener” husband this morning that it has gotten to the point for me where I would be disappointed it there wasn’t a new story from the White House each day. He is a total clown that can’t stand still. I do worry about whether he will have to be carried out in January and what destruction he might do inside that house. Rose Garden may be OK, but what’s going on inside! I am in the process of writing 200 postcards to sometimes Democrat voters in Kansas and encouraging them to vote. They are suppose to be mailed Oct. 20th, but I keep thinking maybe they should go sooner as the mail slows down. What a crazy time. Thanks for the smiles!

  9. Steve August 6, 2020 @ 11:37 am

    LOVE the Betsy deVos book cover! That’s hilarious. (And alarming.)

    That kitten kind of adopted YOU, didn’t it?! Which is how it usually seems to work with cats.

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