I Don’t Eat Cucumbers or Ham So I Sure As Hell Ain’t Eating The Body Of Christ.


Illustration by Lisa Aisato

Happy Summer to everyone in the northern hemisphere!

We are heading into the Happy Season here on the north shore of Long Island because here, weather-wise, we are the beige, the Toyota Camry, the Ringo of United States climate. We don’t do drama here on the Isle of Long, no hurricanes, no tornados, no floods or fires or hail storms. All we get are long sunny afternoons, starry nights, lush greenery sparkling with morning dew with only the occasional run of hot and humid days where all you do is lie in the hammock in the backyard and suck down one Long Island Iced Tea after another.

Now that we are re-emerging into a post-civid reality I feel compelled to ask, Do you have goals this Summer? Or am I getting way too Calvinist way too soon? Should we just do nothing, every day, day after day, like we did last year? Was living like that so bad?

As for me, as of June 15, I completed my 100th hour of Korean lessons and in the 100th hour I learned how to use the marker 들 to indicate plurals, but only for living things. I don’t know the marker for plurals of dead things yet. And I learned that in Korea you can get popcorn-flavored ice cream but, if that’s too artificial for you, you can also get vanilla popsicles that have actual kernels of corn embedded in them. I don’t know what it is about Koreans and corn, but I hope to get to the bottom of it when I do my Intermediate-level class beginning in August. GOALS.

I’ve also been reading lately, even novels!, which is a new development since I got vaccinated, and I think there’s a connection. All those genetic-altering substances in the Pfizer shot must be mutating me like crazy, but so far it’s only given me a high tolerance for fiction. However, in time, I expect to sprout a third arm, and I’m looking forward to that extra hand for when I’m yanking off all those spoons and nails and other magnets that keep sticking to my magnetized skin.

The best book I’ve read so far, and one I recommend whole-heartedly, is  Nomadland by Jessica Bruder. Top Cat persuaded me to watch the movie that was based on the book (the book is non-fiction and the movie invented a main character and won the Academy Award for Best Picture this year, and Best Actress, and Best Director) and much to my surprise, I thought it was beautiful. I had read about the film and it did not seem to be my cup of tea as I don’ t usually care for movies about poor people who live in vans and shit in buckets, but there’s not a lot of shitting in buckets and the scenery is astonishingy gorgeous.

So I liked the movie, read the book, and the book is better. I recommend it as a Summer Read.

Otherwise, we are kicking off our Summer with great news, courtesy of my beloved adopted home state of New York:




You get the idea. Justice! At last we have Justice! Maybe this will start the ball rolling as far as holding Republicans responsible for trying to subvert American democracy with lies and perversion. 

Giuliani, you remember, helped lead Donald Trump’s legal challenge to the election results, arguing without merit that the vote had been rife with fraud and that voting machines had been rigged.

The court, namely the Supreme Court of the State of New York, Appellate Division, First Judicial Department, wrote in a 33-page decision that Mr. Giuliani’s conduct threatened “the public interest and warrants interim suspension from the practice of law.” 

Those 33 pages are very readable. It lays out Giuliani’s various lies during his court cases, Pennsylvania and Georgia specifically, and how Giuliani claimed to have had “hundreds” of affidavits to support his [false] claims of voter fraud but never produced one, and discusses his other court appearances to lay out a very thorough case as to the actual lies that Giuliani told invidious courts, whereupon the court says:

“We conclude that there is uncontroverted evidence that respondent communicated demonstrably false and misleading statements to courts, lawmakers and the public at large in his capacity as lawyer for former President Donald J. Trump and the Trump campaign in connection with Trump’s failed effort at re-election in 2020,”

If you’re int he mood for some fun, you can read the full decision here.

Nineteen minutes after the news broke about Giuliani losing his license, Twitter already had 100,000 tweets about it. People are  estatic.







Elsewhere in New York news, New York City held its primaries for mayor, with 13 Democratic candidates and two Republicans competing for their party’s nomination for the November election. Curtis Sliwa, founder of the private security organization that patrols city streets since the 1980s, is running for the Republican ticket and if I lived within city limits, and I could vote for a Repuvlian without throwing up, I might vote for him:

Alas, Sliwa accepted an endorsement from — wait for it — Rudy Giuliani, so of course I hope the guy tanks, and hard. And the fact is, you can’t close  Kill shelters because that wouldn’t do a thing to control the population of unwanted animals; you have to keep the shelters open, but convert them into No-Kill shelters, FYI.

Any way, let’s hope that this “holding accountable” thing catches on:

Catching up on last week’s news, President Biden and his wife have two First Doggos living with them n the White House, and we were told that we lost one of them on Sunday:

One of the things I like about Joe Biden is that he obviously loves his dogs.




At the same time that the President is mourning the loss of his good boy, the Catholic bishops took the first steps into meddling in politics by announcing that they are fixing to ban Biden from receiving communion. Look, I don’t give two craps about Communion, but I do care that the bishops are sticking their noses where it doesn’t belong, especially considering how they managed to overlook systematic child abuse (that is, let’s not be coy, the rape of children by priests) in the Church for decades.

I am not a fan of the Catholic Church. 






Before I forget: Happy Belated Juneteenth, everyone:

So, what with the death of Champ Biden and the Catholic bishops making trouble, it was a very busy Father’s Day in America last week. And then this guy chimes in:

But you have to read this — it’s hilarious:

Is it just me, or do those line breaks (above, heading) look really dumb? And yes, that’s the genius who the Republicans and evangelicals call the Anointed One.


Meanwhile, the Democrats are trying to pass legislation to build American infrastructure but the Republicans don’t want rich people to chip in for it:

Did you know that we have 18 senators from states that have more cows than people in them? And guess which party they represent.

To be fair, Montana as one Republican senator and one Democratic senator. But yeah, the rest are all Republican.

Oh my, would you look at the time! We have to move on now, and catch up with the shit bags who rioted at the Capitol on Jan. 6:

Richard “Bigo” Barnett (above) was released from pre-trial detention in April, but while he is waiting trial, he is on home detention and is allowed to travel only 50 miles from his residence in Gravette, Arkansas.

In a Monday court filing, Barnett’s attorney requested the restrictions on how far he can travel to be loosened so he could attend a car show. According to his attorney, Barnett lost his job after spending months in jail (for being a traitor to his country) and needs to make income by traveling to car shows to buy and sell classic cars.

The filing included a request to attend and spend the night near a car swap meet in Petit Jean Mountain, 200 miles from his residence.

Federal prosecutors opposed the request and stated that Barnett still poses a danger to the community. to support their opinion, the prosecutors referenced the interview that Barnett gave on Russian state TV on June 13, during which Barnett bragged that “I exercise my First Amendment rights every hour, every minute, and every day, and I will never stop.” 

US District Judge Christopher R. Cooper was not impressed by Barnett’s love of free speech and rejected Barnett’s travel request: “The Court is not persuaded that the defendant cannot pursue gainful employment within a 50-mile radius of his home as permitted by the current conditions,” the judge ruled. (In ophter words, “Suck it,Bigo.”

Earlier this month, Barnett auctioned off signed photos of himself in Pelosi’s office to fundraise for his legal fees.

I love the smell of Come Uppance in the morning.

Robert Reeder pled guilty to count 4 of his indictment and will be sentenced on August 18 at 2 p.m.

The FBI was tipped off about Reeder by someone who had seen the videos that Reeder took on his cell phone, showing himself storming the U.S. Capitol on Jan. 6. Reeder, who was wearing a Make America Great Again hat, said several minutes into the video, “We’ve been getting tear-gassed — thousands of people.”

In another video you can hear him telling a Capitol Police Officer “you should retreat,” as the officer is assaulted on video.

Later, Reeder captures himself as he leaves the building: “Got shot with pepper balls. It was f****** nuts!” he said. “We had to do battle with the police inside. It was crazy, absolutely insane.”

Reeder could face a maximum sentence of six months in prison. He will also be fined. I hope he has to spend his old age working at Walmart to pay off what he owes to the U S Government.

Here’s a big one:

That’s Graydon Young, the guy who thinks he looks dashing in his 1990s-inspired goatee (above).

In a significant boost for federal prosecutors, a member of the Oath Keepers who helped the group push into the US Capitol on Jan. 6 has agreed to plead guilty to conspiracy charges and cooperate with the government’s ongoing investigation into the militant group’s activities during the insurrection.

Graydon Young’s acknowledgment that he had conspired with other members of the Oath Keepers to impede or obstruct certification of the Electoral College by “intimidating and coercing government personnel” could help the prosecution make its case that the defendants had used covert communications to plan and coordinate their actions long before the insurrection. He is the first person charged with conspiracy to agree to plead guilty.

Under the terms of his plea deal. Young, 55, has agreed to provide information and testimony to investigators and the grand jury and to serve as a witness for the government at trial. Fifteen others associated with the Oath Keepers are still facing federal charges in the case, which is the largest and arguably most ambitious prosecution to come out of the Capitol riots. 

In exchange for his cooperation, four other charges against Young were dropped, and prosecutors promised to advocate for a sentence reduction below the guideline recommendation of 63 to 78 months. Young also agreed to pay $2,000 in restitution to help cover the roughly $1.5 million in damages inflicted on the Capitol building that day.




The FBI have, so far, arrested 465 people in connection to the insurrection of Jan. 6 and so far, they have all been Trump supporters. So the shit bags on Fox News (Tucker Carlson) are now trying to provide cover for their Anointed One with this:

And One America News network — OAN — the far-right pro-Trump cable news outlet, is doing its best to out-Fox Fox:

This guy (above), is Pearson Sharp, now denies that he called for executions, but. . . 

And the My Pillow guy is still out there, getting attention:

Sometimes I think that I should stop reading the news. I am in a cocoon of Democratic sanity here in my little world on the north shore of Long Island, but I’m starting to think that most of America is full of lunatics. It’s scarey.

Cue the Cats.

Starting with the cats who have jobs:
















Let’s not forget the kitties looking for their Forever Homes on Petfinder.com. You know, the right name can be all the selling point these babies need to find their people:



























And that’s a wrap for the first Friday of Summer 2021. Have a great weekend, Dear Readers. Let’s practice mindfulness and kindness and whatever Naughty Wilbur did to deserve that name, let’s do that too. 










6 Comments, RSS

  1. Three cheers on finishing part one of Korean! I liked last year’s pace. I think it will continue this year.

    I was disturbed that the first Oath Keeper sentenced walked with probation. I don’t know enough details but it feels like a very bad omen to me. And thanks for the cats — especially the one in the sink!

  2. Congrats on your 100th hour of Korean! Personally, I’d much rather know the plural marker for live things over dead things.

    My Summer Goals:
    1. Get through the next seven days of predicted 105-115 temps. Hope it doesn’t go longer.
    2. Avoid spending another $10,000 on emergency dachshund back surgery.
    3. Travel! Well, not very far — to Seattle in July, to the Oregon coast in August.
    4. Continue doing wacky fun artistic things.
    5. Eat dessert first.

    May your Summer be joyful and lacking in heat waves!

  3. Kirra

    Good news the crazy lawyer lost his right to lawyer! The catholics are something else aren’t they……it’s kind of amazing that these people who stormed the US house of parliament and literally got photographed/filmed doing it are so surprised about the legal consequences of their actions, it’s hard to believe really.

    I want to know what Naughty Wilbur did too! Have a great start to the summer and enjoy practising your Korean and reading novels.

  4. I’m laughing at “the Ringo of United States climate.” I miss New York summers! (Not that ours in the UK are terrible — maybe not quite as warm.)

    Oh, Vivian, you post so much that I can never remember it all by the time I get down to the comment section. Of course Giuliani is a national disgrace and I’m glad he’s finally getting his comeuppance.

    Oh, and thanks for the “Nomadland” recommendation. We loved the movie. Now I’ll try the book, after I read the other 27 books in my stack…

    Dipstick is adorable! If I were in the market for a cat I’d adopt her. Or maybe That Girl.

  5. So glad Giuliani lost his license to practice law!
    Congratulations on finishing 100 hours of Korean lessons.
    And all those cats make me smile.
    The rest of those losers that stormed the capitol should definitely pay a price in jail
    along with Catholic bishops too. Women deserve to have the rights over their bodies and
    Biden deserves communion if that is what he wants.

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