Thank you, everyone, for your emails and notes of concern about Hurricane Henri last weekend. Henri was downgraded to a Tropical Storm and hit Long Island well east of Too Many Cats Manor. All we got was 41 hours of unrelenting rain, from just before sunset on Saturday to around noon on Monday. Truthfully, I shouldn’t say that 41 hours of rain is “all” we got because the monotony of that many hours of rain is maddening, tedious, and mentally-unbalancing, and the 100% humidity saturated everything inside the house — cotton clothing, wool rugs, paper and cardboard (books), fur, humans — and we felt as waterlogged as if we were living in a moat. But we didn’t lose electricity and we didn’t run out ice or vodka so, YaY.
The last weekend in August is coming up, Dear Readers, and I hope you all get out for a lovely evening stroll to listen to crickets and watch fireflies give their sparkle and hum to the warm August darkness that wraps around you like kindness. Oh, how I love late Summer.
I especially love porch lights in late Summer.
I specially especially like making a Go-cup of ice-cold Vovray to take with me while I wander around the neighborhood, drinking in the sights and sounds.
This is the time of year I missed out on in 2020 because I had that fracture in my tibia that prevented me from taking long walks from July 21 – Sept 4, which pretty much grounded me for the sweetest and most luscious part of the sweetest and most luscious season.
I’m very grateful that this year, in the other-wise blighted year of 2021, that I get to experience all these Summer days fully.
Nights like this, I want Summer to last forever.
Another Summer pleasure that we don’t talk about enough is: lawn sprinklers, specifically the jumping into of them. To beat the heat of midday, I go out for my morning run rather early, usually around 7 or 8 AM. This is the time when a lot of people’s lawn sprinkler systems are turned on to water the golf-course quality lawns that are a necessity on the north shore of Long Island (mostly Kentucky Bluegrass, judging by the amount of watering that goes on). I usually get my pick of lawn sprinklers in which to jump; or, more accurately (since no jumping is actually required), I get my pick of lawn sprinklers under which to stand and get drenched.
Here (below) is a catalogue of my favorite sprinklers, starting with a picture I took on Tuesday morning, the first day I could head out after Henri, which as you know umped 41 hours of rain on us. 41 hours. And yes, less than 24 hours after the rain stopped, the sprinklers were turned on. You would think that the grass had had enough watering from the tropical storm that passed by but, no, all the jets were on and I was thankful:
Next is the house that has sprinklers on a hill so that the jets are making a nice high arc, which is what you need for primo sprinkler-dousing:
Here is another of my preferred sprinklers, catching the rising sun in its cascade and there is nothing finer than to be soaked by droplets sparkling with sunrise:
Dear Readers, you will NEVER guess who it is that has the best lawn sprinkler for jumping into, sprinklers with excellent water pressure, nice height, and easy access, as seen here:
This guy has an array of sprinklers, but for obvious reasons, I only use the ones closest to the street (the obvious reason is trespassing):
You might not recognize this guy’s yard, but you will recognize him by his flag:
Yes, Dear Readers, our local MAGAt has a lovely lawn sprinkler system that I have on more than one occasion been happily drenched by. If you notice, today his big red TRUMP flag, which usually flaps hideously in the air like a big fat Trump lie, is, for now, furled. FURLED.
Maybe our post cards persuaded him to cool it on the Trump flag-waving after all, so YAY for us! Or maybe it’s because our MAGAt is depressed and laying low while there is trouble in TrumpLand because, Dear Readers, there is trouble in TrumpLand and I am here for it.
Starting with this:
At a rally on August 21 in Cullman, Alabama, Trump was booed after telling followers that he was vaccinated against COVID-19 and urged his supporters to do the same . “I believe totally in your freedoms, I do. You got to do what you have to do. But I recommend — take the vaccines. I did it. It’s good,” he said. (And good for all those who Boo’d. I hope all his most fervent supporters continue to resist the vaccine. I really do.)
The next day, this happened:
Alex Jones is the rabid Trumper who spews conspiracy theories and misinformation about Covid on his internet show. On Sunday, August 22, Jones raved about the COVID-19 vaccine and how he’s certain it will create “mutants.” In discussing Trump’s August 21 endorsement of the vaccine, Jones declared that Trump was following orders from “the left” to “go out and push” the vaccine. He said:
“CNN snaps their fingers. [CNN President] Jeff Zucker snaps his fingers, and Trump clicks his heels and hops up there at attention and says, “How high do you want me to jump, boss?”
Jones then played a clip of Trump’s message about vaccines in Alabama.
“BS,” Jones proclaimed afterward. “Trump: That’s a lie; you’re not stupid. But, my God, maybe you’re not that bright,” he added. “Maybe Trump is actually an idiot.”
Jones is very popular in TrumpWorld. He claims that his platforms reach 70 million people per week. So, if he starts speeding the word that Trump is a moron, it will definitely shake things up for Donny.
Meanwhile, some of Trump’s lawyers, the ones who filed lawsuits to perpetuate the Big Lie that the election of 2020 was “stolen” from Trump, got some terrible news this week (get out the popcorn, Dear Readers):
Nine lawyers, led by Sidney Powell (above), allied with former President Donald Trump face financial penalties and other sanctions after a judge Wednesday said they had abused the court system with a lawsuit that challenged Michigan’s election results in favor of Joe Biden.
U.S. District Judge Linda Parker said the Michigan lawsuit last fall was a sham intended to deceive the court and the public, just a few days after Biden’s 154,000-vote victory in the state was certified.
“Despite the haze of confusion, commotion and chaos counsel intentionally attempted to create by filing this lawsuit, one thing is perfectly clear: Plaintiffs’ attorneys have scorned their oath, flouted the rules, and attempted to undermine the integrity of the judiciary along the way,” Parker said in the opening of a scathing 110-page opinion.
“Individuals may have a right — within certain bounds — to disseminate allegations of fraud unsupported by law or fact in the public sphere,” the judge said. “But attorneys cannot exploit their privilege and access to the judicial process to do the same.”
Parker ordered 12 hours of legal education, including six hours in election law, for each attorney. Her decision will also be sent to the states where the lawyers are licensed for possible disciplinary action there.
It was one of the few efforts to wrench fines or other penalties from dubious post-election lawsuits across the U.S. There was no immediate response to messages seeking comment from attorneys for Wood and Powell.
And lastly, things aren’t looking any better for Trump’s enablers in Congress:
On Wednesday, Trump tried to weasel out of complying with the committee’s request for info. Wait. I like weasels. Let’s say he tried to Trump out of taking responsibility:
This is Trump’s statement:
The Leftist ‘select committee’ has further exposed itself as a partisan sham and waste of taxpayer dollars with a request that’s timed to distract Americans from historic and global catastrophes brought on by the failures of Joe Biden and the Democrats. Unfortunately, this partisan exercise is being performed at the expense of long-standing legal principles of privilege.
Executive privilege will be defended, not just on behalf of my Administration and the Patriots who worked beside me but on behalf of the Office of the President of the United States and the future of our Nation. These Democrats only have one tired trick—political theater—and their latest request only reinforces that pathetic reality.”
Democratic Rep. Bennie Thompson of Mississippi, the committee’s chairman, said, in response to Trump: “Our Constitution provides for a peaceful transfer of power, and this investigation seeks to evaluate threats to that process, identify lessons learned and recommend laws, policies, procedures, rules, or regulations necessary to protect our republic in the future.”
But in addition to the delightful news of the implosion of TrumpWorld, let’s take a look at what else has been up-ended in America, mainly my sense of what constitutes deliciousness:
This showed up in my Twitter tl and cause quite a ruckus. First, people were upset by the misspelling of ketchup. Most of us agree that “ketchup” is the only way to spell this tasty tomato-based condiment once so reviled by the British for being the totem of American cultural imperialism, and a minority could tolerate the spelling of “catsup”, but nobody, and I mean NOBODY could stand “catchup”.
I’m dying to try this. Notice that Toby (above) used Whole Foods brands to make this counter-intuitive dip. Organic all the way. I’ll let you know how it turns out.
This also caught my attention on the Twittersphere, under the heading: Nobody loves their job more than a Border Collie scattering seeds in a Chilean forest:
I had to look this up, and the story is too wonderful not to share. In 2017, forest fires in central Chile destroyed over a million acres of forest land. It was the worst wildfire season in the country’s history, taking several lives and creating an estimated $333 million dollars worth of damages.
The job to replant endless acres of forests seemed like a daunting endeavor. That is until three unusual workers took up the task. Six year old Das and her two daughters, Olivia and Summer, are three Border Collies who have been trained to run through the damaged forests with special backpacks that release native plant seeds. Once they take root, these seeds will help regrow the destroyed area.
Here’s a picture of the three Border Collies with their trainers, who are also [human] sisters, Francesca and Constanza Torres:
Here’s 2 more sweet things from the internet to put us in a good mood before we get to the rest of the news:
OK, now for the regularly scheduled Survey of Stupid, starting with the usual suspects:
This (below) is from the Starlight Bar in Brooklyn, NY:
Ding Dong, the smug anti-vaxxer is dead.
The good news is that he died a horrible, suffocating, slow, painful death that could have been avoided if he hadn’t had his head so far up Trump’s ass.
This piece of shit (above) is John Pierce, who temporarily served as the lawyer for Kyle Rittenhouse, a 17-year-old charged with killing two men and injuring a third during a 2020 Black Lives Matter protest in Kenosha, Wisconsin. Pierce was fired as Rittenhouse’s attorney over a financial disagreement.
He is representing at least 17 clients who are suspected of participating in the January 6 Capitol riots. In a January 9 tweet, Pierce referred to riot arrestees as “patriotic Americans being wrongfully detained.”
On July 28, he tweeted, “This whole thing is just beyond ridiculous at this point. Take your mask off and live your life. We are Americans. I can’t even believe this has to be said. If you want to do something about COVID, tell your Congressman to man up and declare war on the CCP [Chinese Community Party].”
On August 17, Pierce tweeted, “The entire 82nd Airborne couldn’t make me get an experimental government vaccine stuck in my arm.”
I do hope that John Pierce gets the full Phil Valentine death experience, including the agonizing sense of of stupidity that his suffering was avoidable. I’d like him to die with the self-awareness that he is an asshole.
So Jim Bakker is still around. He’s the televangelist who, between 1974 and 1987, hosted the television program The PTL Club. In the late 1980s, Bakker resigned from the PTL ministry over a cover-up of hush money to church secretary Jessica Hahn for an alleged rape. Subsequent revelations of accounting fraud brought about felony charges, conviction, imprisonment.
This is what Jim Bakker is saying now:
The Republican governor of South Dakota is trying to get herself crowned Queen of Stupid:
Ex-football player Herschel Walker wants to be the Trumper to run against Senator Raphael Warnock in Georgia:
Election officials in Georgia have opened an investigation into whether the wife of potential U.S. Senate candidate Herschel Walker cast an illegal ballot when she voted in Georgia’s presidential race last fall from her home in Texas.
And this is all I have to say about Afghanistan:
Let the sarcasm roll:
Now for some happy, pure thoughts of life:
The next time we get together will be September and and we may or may not be depressed. It’s been in the 90s (that’s 35ish in Celsius world) here on the north shore of Long Island and some people are telling me that they can’t wait for Summer to be over but I’m not friends with those people. I love Summer and OK, September is mostly a Summer month, but it doesn’t feel that way. September always brings responsibility, something that is easily avoidable during Summer. September is the beginning of getting ready for you-know-what, a mind set that takes a lot of preparation and determination and stuff. I’m not ready.
Next week I will show you all the new Katara cat picture I painted that was awful, and the new Katara cat picture that I will paint this week that doesn’t suck.
In the meanwhile, have a great weekend, everyone. Go stand under a lawn sprinkler while you can.